my daughter is out of control!

Francesca - posted on 04/18/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 18 months and is out of control! she throws fits for no reason half the time. we tell her calmly she cant do/have something and she screams like she is dying. and we are trying to let her feed herself with a fork, and she sometimes holds it and eats with her free hand or throws it and food and has a fit. then she will pick up some more food and eat it. we've tried everything we can think of and nothing is working. i know shes getting to be in her terrible twos, but my son never ever was this bad. im so frustrated with her that i cry. and shes not talking much. my son was a very late talker and we have him in special preschool to get him caught up for kindergarten. i dont want this to happen to her. i need help!!

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Louise - posted on 04/18/2011

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This screaming is pure frustration because her body wont do what her brain wants to do. Try and defuse the situation if you can or put her in a play pen where she is safe and walk away until she has calmed down. If you react the same way each time she throws a wobbly she will soon learn that reacting like this gets her put in the pen and nothing more. As her body becomes more capable of doing things she will calm down.

As for the speach make sure you sing and play with her every day the same songs. Lots of smiles and enthusiasm. Play action games together like peek a boo and row row the boat. Children learn faster through play so the key here is repetition. I know it is hard but you have to talk and talk to her all day naming everything and trying to make things fun. Also let her watch a bit of tv like Mickey Mouse club house my daughter loves this programme and she has picked up so many words from just sitting and watching it. I know it is this show because I am English and she names things in American. In the uk we would say trousers she says pants. Make learing fun this is the most important thing, even flash cards are good if you can make her laugh as well.

Don't sit and cry when your feeling low get on circle of mums and get some support.There are many mums who feel the same way as you and are here to support you.

Erin - posted on 04/25/2011

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Its just a stage... My son is also 18 months and he throws fits as well... i think its its a stage where they are testing us to see weather or not we are consistant with what we say... yes it is very frastrating...I say to my son where is your ears and he points to them then, i say then you know how to listen to me...my son throws his food and spoon on the floor as well... but he eats with fingers... as long as he is eating i don't mind...and just remember that all kids develope at there own time... and Just be consistant... sometimes I just put my son in his room and close the door and say time out... he goes all quiet and falls asleep.. so don't worry about it to much.. this to is a stage.. I am expecting my second baby in 6 weeks and I know its going to be a challage... but always make time for yourself... maybe get a friend or family member to look after her for two hours or so... and take time out for yourself... it is good... i do that every now and then and it dose wonders.

Luayn - posted on 04/21/2011

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This is completely normal. Hang in there. My daughter is 18 months too. She's my first. What I've learned about temper tantrums is to just ignore her. Don't give in and give her what she wants. She'll assume she needs to freak out to get what she wants every time you say "no". I ignore my daughter and walk away when she's upset and carry on doing things around the house. She eventually gives up and the tantrums don't last as long. I praise her lots throughout the day when she's doing something good. I figure if she's not getting the attention she wants during a tantrum she'll assume they don't work...and stop already. If she's relentless....I calmly take a deep breath....get down to her level (sit on the floor) and tell her I know it's hard but no. This is the only way kids learn.
Stay strong...I know it's tough. Girls are far more emotional than boys are I'm told.

Tricia - posted on 04/21/2011

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I have 18mth old twin girls and they both throw fits, screaming and crying if they don't get what they want,sometimes for no apparent reason too. I will walk away from them sometimes, but often they will follow me screaming , lol.
When they are throwing a temper fit I pick them up and put them in their crib and leave the room. They usually quiet down quickly, after maybe a minute of quiet I will go in and take them back out. So far, it works very well. :-)

Peita - posted on 04/20/2011

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Okay, this is from a personal perspective, but I had a boy for my first and he was one of the most placid and gentle children I had ever met, at 18 months old he would have the odd tantrum, but nothing I couldn't handle, my 2nd and 3rd children are girls and OMG, they are hard work, especially my last, she is nearly 18 months old and has throw down tantrums and squeals when things don't go her way, I try and redirect her to other activities or distract her with something else and she goes straight back to what she isn't supposed to be doing.... she doesn't have a lot she can say either and while I try my hardest to work out what she is trying to do or say before redirecting her, I don't always understand... she seems to know exactly what she is saying though lol!! I am also a childcare worker and have had a HUGE amount of experience (9yrs) of working with 3 month to 3yo children, all I can say is hang in there and ride it out as best as you can, if you need to cry, make sure your children are safe, walk out of the room, have your cry and then try again, kids can be stressfull, make sure you vent when you need to or things will build up....

If you want to help with speech development, make sure you read lots of simple picture books with your girl, do puzzles, finger puppets, action songs like twinkle twinkle and wheels on the bus, single picture with word underneath flash cards, also, with children who are a little high strung and lose focus or tantrum a lot, a small pet like a mouse, rat, rabbit etc gives them something to focus on and calm down....
Like I said, this is a personal view!! Hope things get better for you!!!

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Viveca - posted on 04/25/2011

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My son is 18 months old and he is in Day Care, in his class he is the only one that speaks. How he is doing this? Well, since he was very small we read and sing a lot to him, he loves book about farm animals and making sounds. Also as another mom recomended you, try to use TV to help you my Evan loves Imagination Movers, Mickey Mouse Club House and Special Agent OSO. On the other subject I can only tell you to take ir easy and take deep breath if you do that your daughter's frustration will gradually calm down.

Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2011

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My son is 18 mths and he is a handful as well...I'm reading your post and laughing bc it's our daily routine. Ive learned to ignore most of the fits unless he is in harms way I agree with the other ladies try the crib or pack and play and walk away the other day I put him in the crib and went and turned the shower on w the radio and screamed at the top of my lungs lol then I went in and took him out sometimes mommys need a time out too ;) we have been using the time out chair and that has seemed to slow the fits down..as for speech repeat repeat repeat my son is not a big talker and in the past few weeks he has taken off all bc I bought a bunch of picture books and hooked up the fisher price interactive play station he see and hears the words on the tv and is now repeating them :) Hang in there it will get better

Lela - posted on 04/21/2011

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Tricia,
That's exactly what I do with my 18 month old except it's her playpen lol. She sleeps in a toddler bed and I can't keep her in time out there for long without her getting up lmfao.

Lela - posted on 04/21/2011

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LMFAO. Oh, lord!! My 18 month old girl, Addison, is doing the EXACT same thing! Joy isn't it?! Not! LOL. God, I thought I was the only one, because none of my friends are having the same problem. Addison is talking more (finally!!). My first daughter, Ashlyne, was like this at Addison's age. She was a sweetpea in the beginning and then started her terrible twos at a year in a half. Addison has never really been as sweet as Ashlyne. They both aren't late walkers or talkers or go to/have been to special school. That's the only things we don't relate on. But, my first did talk more then Addison. By 18 months, Ashlyne was already saying please and thank you. Lol.

Patricia - posted on 04/21/2011

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Honestly! Give it time, my daughter eats the window sills, and chews up her crib, eats her books and shreds everything possiable! She takes her clothes off and diaper and pees on the floor, just staring at u! She also throws fits like crazy! Her plate hits the floor as soon as its set on the high chair! I just keep thinking, one day ill laugh about this!!! Let that be soon please!

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