My son is perfect

Dawn - posted on 05/19/2010 ( 36 moms have responded )

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My son was born October 20th and he was my first and only pregnancy and i love to spoil him, but everyone says that is not good...why?

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Rebecca - posted on 06/22/2010

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Well I see that most people agree with you however I have a bit of a different outlook on the topic so I hope not to offend anyone. I do not believe buying your children some toys or clothes or even cuddling them is spoiling them. However there is a line that you should not cross. The reason people tell you to watch how much you spoil your child is simple. If you spoil your child they will never learn or want to do anything on their own. All mothers think their child is perfect but lets face it moms as much as we want to believe that it is not true. Our children will grow up and make mistakes just like everyone else in this world. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I am a realist I see things the way they are...not through rose colored glasses. If you spoil your child they will grow up and be ungrateful brats who are so use to having everything handed to them that they are unable to do the most simple thing without help. Now that is just my opinion. I love my daughter to pieces and I always will however she does not need to have every toy or piece of clothing that she wants. What she needs is efficient as well as what she earns. Teach your children some life lessons so they can learn to be adults.

Amy - posted on 06/21/2010

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I should like to add that "spoiling" him is okay while he still does not understand. Once he starts to realize, you can still "spoil" im but teach him how to earn it so to speak. Material things should be used to reward less often than hugs, kisses and cuddles. Material things are what sour kids. Your heart and love are the best things to "spoil" baby with for all time.

Tisha - posted on 06/07/2010

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I don't think that spoiling while he is a baby is as bad as spoiling him when he gets a little older. My 5 yr old was spoiled and we are really regreting it now. She doesn't appreciate anything you do for her and doesn't understand that she doesn't always have to have something bought for her. If you try and be nice and get her one little gift, she say "is that all". And she throws massive fits when she doesn't get her way. We are working on fixing this and will not make the same mistake with our son. But as of right now he is only 8 mo old and doesn't understand. So we are doing the spoiling now and will stop when he is about 1 or 2.

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Stefany - posted on 06/24/2010

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What i don't get is how you can spoil someone that isn't even school aged yet. They need that nurturing and assurance that you are going to be there, in able to be well rounded children and adults. I actually really hate the word "spoiled" all any parent is trying to do is give there children what they didn't have or was lacking. People say he is really going to be spoiled if u dont have a second one! That irritates me too but thats another issue lol...

Rebecca - posted on 06/22/2010

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I agree with you Hayley...you can never give to much love...I am talking about materialistic things

Donna - posted on 06/22/2010

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omg i feel the same way. with both my youngest and her 5 yr old sisters, but apparently I've babyed too much b/c they still drink out of a sippy cup. Apparently according to the school their dexterity is behind b/c we really havent allowed them to use writing instraments b.c every time we have in the past, they would write on the walls, or the tables, or chairs

Lisa - posted on 06/22/2010

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i think you should do with what u feel comfortable with every one does things differant ...cos to me there is no right way its the way it works for you every ones situations differant :)

Hayley - posted on 06/22/2010

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i am a strong believer that you CAN NOT spoil your child with love and affection but you can spoil them with "thing" but this wont happen until they are old enough to understand

Rebecca - posted on 06/22/2010

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I have 2 sons 3 1/2 yrs and 9 mths and you seriously cant spoil them with love my older one now tells me to stop cuddling him so enjoy it while it lasts!!

Amy - posted on 06/21/2010

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Don't listen to people. YOU are the mom of your baby, not them. I too have just one perfect baby, only pregnancy, most likely not able to have another. I spoil the dickens out of her if that is what they call it! I buy her new clothes and toys all the time, I nurse her to sleep at night and for naps. She spends half the night in bed with me and more when she doesn't feel well. I am with her 24/7. If I go somewhere, I take her with me. If she can't go then I don't go. No one baby sits her and she will only sit a few minutes with her father. She is a very happy baby and everyone says so. She feels super safe and secure because she always has her mother within arms reach. I remember feeling sad as a child because my mother did not have time for me. She had my younger siblings and took care of other people's kids. I was very troubled growing up. I do NOT want that for my baby. My daughter will never feel alone or unwanted by her mother. I say you should raise your son the way you see fit, that is your right!

Candice - posted on 06/09/2010

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you can't spoil a baby.. what the heck would you spoil him with anyways? Love? and if you are spoiling him with love.. how is that BAD! lol
My kids are pretty awesome and i spoil them too.. why? cause they friggen rock and i thought they deserve it!
Ignore these people who think it's wrong to over love a baby..... do what you think is right.

Jenna - posted on 06/08/2010

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my daughter is definately a spoiled one too. I say..you only have your first baby once...so why not? We'll figure it out as we go right? dont listen to everyone. your his mother and you know best even if you are a first time mama. I am too=)

Stephanie - posted on 06/04/2010

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Don't listen to people, everyone has there opinion.. I was told that at this age they don't know spoiling so it doesn't affect them.. They are only Lil once so spoil and cuddle your baby all you want..

Bethany - posted on 06/03/2010

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In my opinion you can never spoil a baby. Thats the fun of having a baby. They are there for love and playfulness and care. And thats what you need to do.love on him, play with him, and care for him when he has needs. The baby stage doesnt last long so enjoy it while you can!

Jessica - posted on 06/03/2010

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I heard its fine till about 4 months, i think lots of moms feel like that now, but its when they are 2-3 that you will regret it.

Kylie - posted on 06/03/2010

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All the experts say you cannot spoil a child under one. What is "their" definition of spoiling anyway. Giving lots of love and cuddles and attention is what is needed to raise a confident, happy and well rounded child. You really need to not listen to what people say - it will continue though as he gets older. All the best.

Emily - posted on 06/02/2010

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My Lukas was born on Oct 20th too and NO, NO, NO there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving him all the love and attention and anything else he wants and you can provide! Just enjoy it and don't listen to what "they" say.

Jodi - posted on 06/02/2010

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There's a difference between spoiling and spoiling rotten. I believe, an this is just an opinion, that if you teach manners but give your kids what they want, then that's not spoling rotten. I've seen "rotten" kids and, the only difference between those kids and the ones who have everything they want is that the "rotten" kids have no concept of the words please, thank you, and your welcome.
It all comes down to what makes you comfortable. If you choose to spoil your child, then so be it. Just know that there will always be those parents who can't spoil (due to financial means) who will be jealous. Let it go and love your kids...that's all that matters in the end.
Jodi :)

Andrhea - posted on 06/02/2010

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my one-and-only son was also born october 20th, 2009...

i spoil him like there's no tomorrow! he's so precious, and why not spoil them? people can judge, but without love and affection then they would grow uo to be unloving people. i think that it is perfectly ok to spoil your child(ren). i also cuddle with my baby quite often and my mother (and others) say that its not going to be good for him in the long run... when i look back, my mother always cuddled with me when i was younger as far back as i can remember, and now she criticizes me for doing the same! i think i turned out to be a pretty decent human being, and i'm sure our children will too :)

keep on spoilin' girl! there's not a darn thing wrong with it!!!

Samantha - posted on 06/01/2010

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Honestly they are not spoiled if they are loved! I know I have had lots of people tell me this as well and I know giving my kids hugs and kisses and lots of love is not spoiling them. However I have learned with my 3 yrd old that he thinks he should have everything, or asks anyways but he only gets what he needs and every once in a while a treat on the side, because if I give him everything he wants he will expect that for the rest of his life . And when I was growing up I got a lot of stuff, but I had to work for it...so that way i didnt get things for free...just a thought for when your babe is older :)

Jessica - posted on 06/01/2010

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Who cares what others think. He is your child and as long as you're taking good care of him thats all that matters. Do what you feel is right.

Chantelle - posted on 05/29/2010

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look don't listen to them you can NEVER spoil a baby until they are a year old i "spoil" my son rotten he won't need any thing till he is like 3 or 4 and i am proud of that i don't care what any ones says to me my son would get the world if it was for sale and he desserves it in my eyes and the same problerbly goes for your son just tell them to give it a rest he is your son and they wouldn't know what its like being a mummy to him your just him what you think he desserves keep up with it i know i will

Kimberly - posted on 05/28/2010

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there is nothing wrong with it when they are this young...there is no such thing as spoiling a baby. but when they get older and understand that they get what they want when they want, then it might become a problem. But it your baby and you raise them how you want, do not let anyone tell you how to raise your child! I love to spoil my little girl lol

[deleted account]

Haha my mum's name is dawnn and my daughter was born on the 20th october and also is a perfect little girl who is also gonna be an only so weird!



In my opionion here is nothing wrong with lots of love and attention but as he grows older you just have to watch HOW you spoil him dont buy everything he wants or you want for him because then he'll expect it, dont cuddle and make a fuss over EVERY bump or bruise, little things like that. You have to be cruel to kind sometimes! So he can stand on his on two feet when he grows up but just enjoy the 'now' while he's a baby, they are so uncomplicated at this age I love it

[deleted account]

He's a baby! What is "spoiling" when it comes to babies? Holding them, cuddling them, loving them? I say go crazy! He won't be a baby for much longer! You're a good mommy, Dawn! Carry that cutie pie with you where ever you go! That's what I do with my Sofie and we're best buds!!!

Maria - posted on 05/26/2010

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my boy is perfect to me too!! :) I always gettold off by my mum n gran for kissing and hugging my son too much but i dont see the harm.... would they rather i didnt and he felt unloved!? my son is very contented and i have been told this since he was born. everyone was telling me this and i have also been told how happy as a family we look! i dont spoil him as i was spoiled when my sister went away to uni and i expect to get everything i want now and i dont want that for him! my boyfriend tells me off for this! he is the eldest in his brood n i am the youngest so we have very diferent views! apparently its better to give a girl all yur love and attention and just to let boys get on with it! i still want my son to feel loved!!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/25/2010

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hunni its ur child and u can raise him how ever u choose, dont let anyone make u doubt urself. its ur son and u will always be right.. you can spoil a baby and i do it too but its just gonna be a lil harder in the future..

Hope - posted on 05/25/2010

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I think I spoil my son. And I wish I could cuddle him more. He sleeps the best in his bed and is always on the go. My husband says no more kids so I do what my love can do for him. If you feel it's best for your baby than don't worry what people say. If your looking for the advice than take it. If you shower your baby with love, than it's no problem. I personally don't shower with stuff because that doesn't last as long as emotional love.

Janna - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have learned the hard way that you should never let anyone tell you how to parent your child. According to everyone on earth I have spoiled my son. So what! I had 3 miscarriages & had stillborn twins. Then I was told that I wouldn't be able to have anymore babies. So my son is a little miracle & I chose to treat him as such!

Janelle - posted on 05/23/2010

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nothing wong with it all. i cuddle my dd all the time an if i see somthing different or unsual i get it for her. there only tiny an dependent on us for such a short time so make the most of it while you can. :)

[deleted account]

Everyone tells me that I spoil my daughter because I never let her "CIO", or I "hold her all the time" I just let them talk and smile at them.

I tell people who give me a hard time that I would rather "spoil" her with love, than literately spoil her by not showing her affection.

[deleted account]

Its not spoiling him to cuddle him and look after him best we can ! We're lucky to have them. I never imagined i'd love being a mum this much, and me and my son are like 2 peas in a pod. In my eyes he can do no wrong , but i know in his eyes i'm just the best also. The older he gets the more i enjoy my time with him, and i love the fact that i'm the one who knows whats up with him when he cries etc.

I have full blown conversations with him !! he's not even 7 months till next week. Love him and cuddle him and "spoil" him as much as you can - its exactly what he's there for !

Melissa - posted on 05/19/2010

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I dont consider it spoiling my son when i buy him lots of clothes and toys. Or when i cuddle him if he's upset and such. I just say i love my son and want the best for him. That doesn't mean he's spoiled. Just loved. Just do what you think is right for your son. No-one can tell you what is wrong or right for your child.

Sharon - posted on 05/19/2010

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Yep...I have a perfect one too!! heehehehehe :-)

do what works for you, if that is spoilling him, then spoil him. i've been told I cuddle my boy too much and all that stuff, but you know what, it works for us and I think that's the most important thing.
We always get comments on how happy & contented he is and I truely believe it's partially due to how we have been raising him and also that we were blessed with a VERY easy to handle baby (no health issues, no feeding issues, no sleeps issues).

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