How to get a 17 month to sleep in own bed at night?

CARRIE - posted on 05/02/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son was born @ 32 weeks & has always slept in our room, but here recently he will not sleep in his playpen or crib... I do not know how I can get him to sleep in his own room in his crib.. I do not like the idea of "letting him cry it out"... I feel he is too old already & will be more scared then anything.. Please any advice is helpful & greatly appreciated..

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Why not sleep in the new room with him for a couple of nights. That will get him used to the new room. I would then slowly remove yourself from the room. After a point he'll be comfortable enough to fall asleep on his own. I would expect it to take a couple weeks at least.

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Angela - posted on 05/17/2011

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My son slept in his room in his bed since the day he was born. There was a time however when he would wake up crying in the middle of the night, wanting to be fed or held. This happened between 6-10 months of age, which our pediatrician told me was a normal stage for all kids. He told us to ignore his crying which of course I couldn't. At the same time we were renovating, and I had to put my child into a paypen in our room because his room smelled from paint fumes. Every time he would wake up at night crying, I would tell him "mama is here, papa is here, go back to bed" and he did. He didn't want to nurse or be held anymore. By the time we were ready to move him back to his own room and crib I was afraid he won't be sleeping through the night again. But he did! Since he was 10 months old he doesn't wake up anymore through the night. If you think he is afraid to sleep in the his own room and crib, give him a toy or a blanket, or maybe keep a crib in your room for a while. If he sees his parents near him he'll feel reassured.

Kylie - posted on 05/15/2011

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right i am gonna try more bedtime routine and put him into his bed while hes awake... I am also gonna try and put his cot into the toddler bed stage and see if that works.. Thanks for everyones advice.

Giacci - posted on 05/12/2011

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What I did with my son at that age was i put him in his bed and laid down next to him. I even had my own pillow that stays in his room for nighttime. What I would do is either lay down and just reassure him that im not leaving and to go to sleep, or i would sing or hum to him to relax his mind. That worked most of the time and I always wound up falling asleep with him and waking up at like 2am. lol but now that hes older (26 months) I have a baby gate in front of his doorway, I put him in his room and tell him to go to sleep and mommy will be only a door away. As long as he sees me go into my room he will be fine and go to sleep. But if i go downstairs he will think hes missing something so he will cry.. Try that maybe?

Callie - posted on 05/12/2011

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Natasha- My 18mo just started sleeping through the night 2 weeks ago. Like April said but them down drowsy but still awake. You can pat their back or sing to them if you need to. But just because they learn to go to sleep on their own doesn't mean they'll immediately start sleeping through the night. Some kids just wake during the night and need some reassurance. It's a phase that will pass. My daughter started going to sleep alone at about 11-12 months but started sleeping through the night at 18mo.

April - posted on 05/12/2011

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Natasha - don't let them fall asleep on you. I was doing that with my daughter, too, and when I'd move her she'd wake up because it wasn't where she fell asleep. It can be scary to wake up somewhere else. When they're about to fall asleep, put them in their beds and let them fall asleep there. Be consistent - that really is the key to a good sleeping pattern.

Natasha - posted on 05/12/2011

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Can someone tell me what to do with my 18 month old twins.....Theyh still fall alseep in our arms with a bottle and then we put them in their cots in our room......but they don't sleep through at all, and want to get in our bed half way through the night. Hubby and i don't know what to do!!! I can't leave the one to cry or moan too long because then it wakes the other twin up. We need help!!

Savannah - posted on 05/11/2011

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Try putting him in the bed after he falls asleep,then use a night light also put a stuff animal in the bed with him so he can feel like someone is in the bed with him. Just be consistent wit it & dnt run to get him immediately when he start crying give it a few minutes cuz thr more u gp get him when he cry then he knows every time he crys u comes so he gone do it every time

Callie - posted on 05/11/2011

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My husband convinced me to try 'cry it out' because our daughter fought sleep so much. Well it made everything worse. She screamed until she was gaging and I thought she was going to puke and then would cry all day wanting me to hold her. I wish I had never even considered 'cry it out'. If the thought of it bothers you (like it did me) then DON'T try it. Try putting him in a playpen/crib by your bed to sleep so still feels close to you. Then as he acclimates move him away from your bed but still in your room. When that goes ok try moving him into his room. You may need to stay the night in his room with him until he's comfortable then move to your own room. You can also try naps in his room and then work into nights in his room. Maybe allow him in your bed if he wakes up scared in the middle of the night and then work into full nights in his crib. All kids are different you'll just have to find what works for you. Good luck I'm sure you'll find something that works for you and your son.

April - posted on 05/10/2011

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I just recently went through this with me daughter, who is 18 months and has co-slept with my husband and I since she was about 6 months. She was never a great sleeper and the only way we could get any rest was if she slept with us. But I'm due next week with our 2nd and we realized she needs to be on her own before the new baby arrives. I converted her bed to a toddler bed, for starters, since she could climb in and out of our bed. I think it helped her knowing she had a choice. Next came the hard part. I've tried the crying it out thing - doesn't work for anybody in my house! :) BUT I did the "controlled crying" method. Basically, I set up a nightly/nap routine and time that never changed. Mine is, I sit in a chair in her room with her and read 1-2 books, I turn on a small fan for white noise, tell her it's time for hugs and kisses, and then lay her down. I tell her literally, "It's time to sleep now." And walk out of the room. Before you can just walk out of the room, tho, you have to build up to it. The very first night I just sat down right next to her bed so she could see just the side of my face and ignored her. This was the hardest night because she cried for 45 minutes. However, I could see her and knew she was ok, if upset. The next day at nap time, she barely even whined. Every night I'd slowly sit further and further away from her bed until she just got comfortable with the idea of being by herself. After the first week, she really didn't even care that I was there. I did it for 2 weeks until I got up the nerve to just walk out of the room - and then I stayed in the hallway until I knew she was asleep. Now (only a month later) I have NO problems with getting her to sleep. She just lays down, rolls over, and goes to sleep - and sleeps all night which she never did before! I hope this helps, even though I know it's super long!!

Charlie - posted on 05/10/2011

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My little girl did this, So I brought her a princess toddler bed, at first I'd lay in bed with her untill she fell asleep, she woke up once or twice but I just put her right back into her own bed. I did this for about two weeks now she actually puts herself to bed! Lol. I dunno if this is any help. But let me know if it is!!! x

Kylie - posted on 05/10/2011

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my son is the same, he was born at 38 weeks and has already slept with me... as a single mum i didnt have any help so for me it was easy to have him close in bed with me... just like the first reply on here, my son was like my own security blanket.
Just in the last month i had decided that i had enough of him being in my bed and time for him to sleep in his cot instead of being scared of it..
So i started by doin a solid bedtime routine, dinner, shower, brush teeth, stories and cuddles and then put him in his cot
and sat down beside it with my hand half way in the cot..the first 2 nights he did cry but enough to tire himself out and lay down and driff of to sleep..
Now after a month of doing this.. I pop him in the cot and he lays down and after 10 minutes of laying there he is normally asleep..
At the moment i am moving my self away further from the cot towards the door..trying to get him used to falling alseep with out me.
He doesnt stay in his bed alnight but at least its progress :)
and hopefully soon he will be in his bed alnight by himself.

hope some of this what i have wrote will help you

Emily - posted on 05/04/2011

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My daughter was born full-term and has always co-slept. Mostly because her biological father & I didn't work out so she was, admittedly, my own security blanket. But I've since developed a healthy relationship with a new man & let's face it... the family bed is a nice idea, but it doesn't always work. I got a toddler bed from Ikea - it was meant to be for my 5 year old who is only with me half time - but my 17 month old quickly took to it because of the fun design (it's one with a leaf hanger overtop). If you make bedtime fun, or make his room/sleeping area fun (but still calm & relaxing) he may be more inclined to sleep on his own. My daughter has SHOCKED me the past few days. She continued co sleeping for so long because she still breastfeeds at night, but since she's taken to the bed, she'll only breastfeed right before her bedtime and then she'll sleep in her own bed for the rest of the night. On nights when I'm just too tired to breastfeed her (which DOES happen on occassion)... I usually just lie on the floor next to her bed, close my eyes, and hum to her. It calms them down and prepares them for sleep, while still making them feel secure because you're right there as they're drifting into dreamland. Once he's been asleep for about 5-10 minutes, you can get up and do whatever you need to do before going to bed yourself. I hope this helps a little. Good luck! And know that it may take some time to stick. Patience and persistance! :)

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