Tantrums

Cari - posted on 11/20/2010

My son (nearly 1 now) does this too, not a full blown tantrum but he does throw a strop, and like you it's when he's been told 'no' or when he's been moved away from something (like a cupboard that he shouldn't be in). I try to be gentle and tell him he's ok, and he can play with xxx instead, and that usually works, but when he gets in a real tizz and starts wailing I do tend to pick him up and talk to him. I think when he's 2 I will be doing the same thing but I think you have to do whatever works for you and baby. We're all different and so are they, so what works for one might not for another ya know? Hope it's going ok xx

Samantha - posted on 11/19/2010

dnt worry ur not alone there my son aint one till nxt week and hes had tantrums since 7 munths hes a happy baby but when he gets a grump and he wants is milk he will really have a tantrum i try and ignore it by getting on with my things but i always lie im dwn so he dnt bang is head if the tantrum dnt stop after a few mintues i go talk to im calmly and if hes still going i pick im up and take im with me and ask im wot he wants i say certain fings and if he answers with excitment i knw wot he wants bec i do get worried hell will damage is throat or blow a blood vessel bec he gets so red, and the same with bed time i try most nites to settle im imself but ive learned that if i do im too early he throws a temper and he wnt stop till i go too im and i end up rocking im to sleep which in the long run will spoil im, i do sumtimes let im fall asleep on me cus hes tired but i put im too bed straight away, but then i fink hes going to be a grown up soon times to quick but everyone will do things different, u do wotever u fink is best for your child

Richa - posted on 11/18/2010

my son turned one yesterday. usually he is behaving nice and wont seem problematic but when he is doing something and we have to change his diapers or just sometimes he wants something that he is not supposed to take, he pitches some tantrums that takes all the breath out of us!! phewwww!! his face becomes all red and we get scared!!

Catherine - posted on 11/18/2010

our daughter pitches some royal tantrums as well! as a general rule, i ignore the tantrum, but not her. i speak quietly but with enthusiasm and attempt to get her focused on something else. admittedly, if she doesn't take the bait, i usually just let her go about her insanity til it plays out (about a minute or two). i read somewhere that if you respond quietly, even with an audible whisper, it causes the child to quiet down too. i have to say, it works on my husband when he's all wound up about something. hahaha.

Cassandra - posted on 11/13/2010

i agree with the no attention method of coarse that is just my opinion that you shouldnt reward bad behavior. Plus if that is what youve already been doing it may just confuse him when you change your tactics.

Barbara - posted on 11/12/2010

My son is doing the same thing and I spoke to his Dr. about it. He told me that my son is "strong willed" which is a good thing but it presents a new challenge to raising him. We now need to learn how to work with him and to pick our battles wisely. I am going to look into some books to see if there is any help out there.

Carla - posted on 11/10/2010

Yeah, pretty much the same thing here, my son turned 1 on the 3rd and when he wants something that he shouldn'nt have, he throws a fit. All I do is say "No, you can't have that" which normally get's him going, I then put him down and walk away (where he can still see me) and give him about a minute before I pick him up again or give any attention.

Brittany - posted on 11/09/2010

At this point there isn't really a good way of knowing which to do. I ignore mine when she throws a fit. I know what she wants and she isn't getting it. But also her tantrums only last 30 sec to a min.

If you already started with ignoring it then it would be better to continue and not confuse him my changing things. Inconsistency is the worse thing when it comes to any type of discipline.

Annette - posted on 11/09/2010

It sounds like the samething my daughter does, she was one on the 5th and since about 8 months she learned that if the attention was not on her she would cry and make a big deal out of it. I just have taught her that she needs to share the time with others and that she needs to keep herself occupied and so when she starts to cry i will put her in her room to play toys and in a few minutes she forgets that she was crying and is now learning that mommy or daddy cant always give her all of their attention

Maddison - posted on 11/09/2010

My daughter is doing the exact same thing and I do the same thing as you. Leave her to freak out usually 30 seconds later she is ok. I do not believe it is seperation anxiety if she wants me she puts her arms up or grabs my legs and won't let go. I think giving them no attention when there having a tantrum is the best way. I have had people tell me to laugh which I think is terrible since negative attention is still attention. Do what feels right to you and know that not everyone will agree and that that is okay.

Kristina - posted on 11/07/2010

Yeah it's not a seperation anxiety. He can be ok for the most part without me while I'm up and about doing chores and other stuff. Plus most of his fits are usually when he can't have something that he's not supposed to have. What I try to do is ignore the tantrum but I don't think I was finishing the job by continuing what I was doing origonally. I will try to focus on that more for next time. Thanks for your help.

Jennifer - posted on 11/07/2010

instead of ignoring him when he is having a "tantrum" i would just ignore the tantrum and continue going about whatever you were doing when the tantrum started. he'll figure out that the tantrum does not yield him the results he wants (attention from you). distraction works well for babies who are getting into things they shouldn't but offering distraction (such as singing or playing) from the tantrum could reinforce his behavior because it is causing you do drop what you are doing, and put your focus onto him.

Jennifer - posted on 11/07/2010

Rather than temper tantrums it sounds much more like separation anxiety. If you're doing housework make sure he can still see you and talk to him. That will help him feel he's not been left alone.