1 week to go and nervous about making friends. feeling very lonely

Kirsty - posted on 03/10/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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every since concieving my first baby in 2005 i have found it very difficult to make new friends. all the friends i thought i had stopped talking to me when i fell pregnant because i couldnt get drunk and do stupid things any more. ive been to a few mother and toddler groups and have been out since and cant seem to click with people any more.

i have many aquaintances but no real friends. i feel so alone and keep wondering if there is actually something wrong with me. any advice or comments welcome x

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Denise - posted on 03/11/2010

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Nothing wrong with you! I've had the same problem! It seems to be harder to make new friends when your a mother. Its hard for me because sometimes you like the mom but not there kid or vise-versa. I had my daughter in 06 and it caused a huge change...like you I lost a lot of friends, because they didn't understand what a responsibility having a child was and if they had kids it seems they were just really bad parents and I couldn't stick around to watch them be ignorant asses! I really only have like 3 mom's that I am really good friends with,and its even hard at times to stay friends with 2 of them because sometimes I can't stand the way their kids act and there lack of discipline with there children ... and I really don't want that rubbing off on my daughter.I would love to have more but it just doesn't seem to happen.I feel really lonely at times too! I say its better to have just a few close friends! And if you ever need someone to talk to just message me on here or add me to your facebook :)

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no nothing wrong with u friends change when ur lifestyle changes ive stopped hanging out with almost everyone i feel like my best friend is my lil girl.

Michelle - posted on 03/12/2010

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Unfortunately it seems that becoming a parent alienates you from your normal group of friends who do not have kids or dont ever plan to have them .

Some times seeking out a group with other parents is not just enough . Maybe putting more in your searches such as some thing you enjoy as in a hobby ... Example .... Parents who love sci-fi , or parents who enjoy parks , giving you a common ground with other parents can help .

Good luck !!!

Emma - posted on 03/12/2010

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I know exactly how you feel. All my friends deserted me when I fell pregnant with my first apart from one who has stuck by me through everything and she's been a godsend nevertheless she's my children's godmother.

I'm a very shy person and meeting new people doesn't come naturally to me either. I wish you the best of luck though.

Kirsty - posted on 03/12/2010

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thanks for the support it means alot and i actually feel alot better about things. its nice to know there are people i can talk to. thanks again for all the advice and support. xx

Mimi - posted on 03/11/2010

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Oh sweetie, I understand exactly how u feel because I feel the same way as u do now. Most of my friends stop keeping in touch w me ever since I announced my pregnancy to them last year. The worst thing for me is that I moved to another country to be with my husband and been here for almost 2yrs and I still haven't found any friends. Plus my in laws don't get along well with me (its a long story).

Just remember something, there is nothing wrong with you. Its sad that we lose some of our good friends but people come and go just like the season. I don't click well with many people too but understand that u r not alone. We're both experience the same thing, so I'm here for you if u need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to u. Pls feel free to add me and I'm more than happy to get to know you. Don't pressure or push yourself too hard bcuz of other people. The best friend u'll ever have is ur child & ur family, cherish dat every moment.

Take care.

xo

Mellissa - posted on 03/11/2010

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There isn't anything wrong with you! I have the same problem making friends and my oldest is 12. I remember making friends really easily before but after I had m oldest most of my friends disappeared. It just got worse with each baby. I have a really hard time making friends and meeting new people. I have a few good friends left, but am always happy to have new friends. Add me if you want and then anytime you need to talk, let me know. Good luck with your baby!!

Danielle - posted on 03/11/2010

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right there with you!!!I had my son in 2007 and at the time I was 17....I stayed friends with many of my close friends until about a year ago. Now, my life used to revolve around my son, fiancee, and work. But, now that I'm not working it's just me, my fiancee, my son, and I am due in April.....my family is my bestfriend at this point. I am no longer in contact with any of my friends from then, and can't make friends either.

Hannah - posted on 03/10/2010

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just keep at it you will find that people that also have ids are good to have around at least they understand the not being able to or not wanting to go out constantly. you can still have your friends without kids but it is good to try and make friends that you now have ore in common with, I dont know what i would do sometimes without other mums to talk to

Katie - posted on 03/10/2010

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I had this feeling yesterday. I lost most of my friends just before we got married. Its hard but thats what makes me stronger. I know that they arent around for a reason. If you would like you can add me to your circle or message me anytime.

Liz - posted on 03/10/2010

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I know the feeling. When i was pregnant with my twins in 2007, and then had them in 2008 it seemed like many of my friends fell out because we couldn't get together whenever or do any stupid stuff like you mentioned. And now that I'm pregnant again, I feel the exact same way again.



But a few of my friends have stuck with me, and those are the friends you have to count on. It is difficult to make new friends, and I managed to make a few during play groups with kids around my kids' age.

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