10 weeks left...no baby shower offers!

Ciera - posted on 06/06/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I had b/g twins last year. (February 10, 2009) I had a baby shower for them a few months early as we didnt know how early they would come. now i am almost 30 weeks and nobody has mentioned anything about a baby shower this time around. i really need a baby shower as we do not have much money and there are many things we need. i know everyone probably thinks that having had babies last year i probably already have everything i need but it just isnt true. most of my baby girl clothes were my sister's baby's but she is due 4 weeks after me with another one and so i have to give her the clothes back so i dont have baby clothes and several items i need. i am wondering how rude it would seem if i either threw myself a shower or talked to someone (maybe a family member or close friend) about it. What would you advise. I dont want to seem rude!

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[deleted account]

I dont understand this baby shower business maybe its because im from the uk but i think its a bit arrogant to expect everyone to gve you stuff for your baby. To me if you get pregnant you ought to make sure you can afford to buy the baby's stuff yourself not expect everyone else to do it for you.

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food and roof over their heads is good but they also need nappies and clothes etc if you cant afford to supply those things think twice before getting pregnant its not other peoples duty to supply what you cant afford to buy yourself

Ashlee - posted on 06/07/2010

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Girl it's 2010! Throw yourself a shower and plan it your way, that's exactly what I'm doing. I had two offers, but I just feel better planning it myself, my way with the way I want my invitations etc. If you really want someone else to do it for you then maybe you could drop subtle hints to friends and family, "I need baby clothes so bad since I had to give back the clothes I borrowed, and diapers, I really hope someone offers to throw me a shower soon, I'm begining to think I'll have to throw one for myself! Haha" Laugh about it, so it doesn't seem so akward. Good luck!

Sabrina - posted on 09/21/2010

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I threw my own baby shower b/c like you no one had offered. My MIL did the one for my 1st son and my family aren't really good party planners so When I was 35 weeks I had my own shower but we called it a diaper party b/c that is pretty much all we needed. But I say do it your self I bought a Keg of beer and pizza and all our friends and there kids were invited I think I spent a total of $100. We don't have much money either I just saved up for it. I wouldn't worry about it seeming rude. Everyone loves to celebrate babies!

Kerry - posted on 09/20/2010

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i think baby showers are just for the first baby. You will probably find people will give you lots of gifts once the baby arrives.

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Gabby - posted on 09/24/2012

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throwing your own baby shower makes it seem like all you want is gifts. Usually you have a baby shower for the first child, sometimes for the child of a different gender later on down the line also. People usually dont offer to throw you a baby shower if its not your first. What i have seen, is friends throw the mommmy-to-be a diaper shower. and people just bring a package of diapers, and of course some will bring outfits cause babies are so cute to shop for =) so see if someone will at least do a diaper shower for you. since you mentioned you need clothes, you should try and baby outfit shower, and just have ppl bring one outfit to the shower. If not, then lots of the things people say you need with a baby, you really dont. so you just have to figure out what those things are and live without them until you can afford to buy more. a good resource is to look into churches in your area, and see if they offer help for mommies-to-be like a free crib or free clothes for people who need help. You can also shop thrift stores for babies clothes, since they get so big so fast, no point in spending lots of money on clothes.

Delta - posted on 09/20/2010

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I was wondering when I was gonna get a baby shower, then one day at work the manager of the hotel which is head boss of the whole place had let me know that they are throwing me one but she is just waiting for the baby to be born first.

Amber - posted on 09/19/2010

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Oh another thing, I went to 3 babyshowers this year, and all of them were for second pregnancies, not tacky at all ;). I am also pregnant with my second and had a shower, also do not have much money. Having a family doesnt have to be stopped just because you do not have what other people have, this is a tough emonomy these days, and these are the times when we start our families and we do not have to put that on hold because of money. As long as you can support your kids and give them food/a roof over their heads and love, everything works out perfectly.

Amber - posted on 09/19/2010

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Throw your own! Just ask your family members for help throwing it and stuff, no one needs to know whos throwing it! Just have them RSVP to whoever is helping you! lol hope this helps!

Dee - posted on 09/19/2010

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Why on earth are your pregnant AGAIN when you have no money to buy the necessities? "The Village" has no obligation to help subsidize your personal reproductive choices. As far as I'm concerned you are on your own to deal and I think your friends probably feel the same, hence no offers to host have been forthcoming.

Having showers after the first pregnancy is considered tacky and gift grabby.

You alone are responsible for dealing with the situation you have made the CHOICE to place yourself in.

Ashleigh - posted on 06/11/2010

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With my 1st no one offered to throw me a shower. I talked to one of my close friends and she offered to help me. I had to throw myself 2 showers as my MIL's couldn't be grown ups and be in the same room together.

Since then, they have grown up, due to me telling them I wouldn't be having 2 weddings! LOL! Anyways, I am not throwing myself another shower. I just mentioned it to a friend and she offered to have it for me. Since this is #2 boy, we are labeling it a diaper shower and that's most of what we need.

If you are short on clothes and money check into some local charities that may be able to help. I know here in FL we have several that will give clothes to mommies in need. Also check garage sales and thrift stores. If you find a garage sale with tons of clothes that you'd like make an offer for the whole lot. My mom did that alot when I was young. Good luck!

April - posted on 06/10/2010

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I agree, I would ask a close family or friend to throw me a shower and tell them why you need one. I think it's good to celebrate every baby every time. My opinion is that each baby deserves their own baby shower... I know most people (myself included) go all out for their first baby, but it's important to go all out for all babies! If no one wants to or can, do it yourself. If my mom had not opted to do our shower, I would have thrown my own. No questions asked.

Keli - posted on 06/10/2010

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Giving a little hints to family members about wanting a shower is not rude. Just be nice about it or even make a joke about it and see who takes the bait. If that does not work u can throw your own shower.

Erica - posted on 06/08/2010

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If you are a regular member of a church I would maybe confide in your pastor. There may be a group of ladies at your church that would just love to throw a baby shower. Otherwise, since your sister is having a baby too, see if any family members would be interested in a "joint shower."

PETA - posted on 06/08/2010

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Maybe you could start with a list of things you need, keep it on your fridge so others can read it. Maybe that will help family members know you still need things, without having to ask. When shopping with family/friends look at the baby stuff you need, and say i still have to get this, but maybe next week.

I never had a baby shower, but i did have people ask me often what i needed. I do think it is rude to ask people to buy you things. I would just wait to be asked.

Good luck.

[deleted account]

I never had a baby shower with either of my children. I never thought about having one and obviously no one else did either. however in saying that people bought me stuff for when I was in Hospital, my mum bought a basket and filled it for me, but these things I didn't get until after I'd had either of them, and with my daughter I didn't has as much but It didn't bother me too much x

Amber - posted on 06/07/2010

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I'm only 16 weeks but i'm a Marine Wife and being so far from home and not knowing many people where we are stationed I posted a FB status saying "I just realized I don't get a baby shower" and from there people started saying they'd throw me a baby shower...how many are actually gonna do it? who knows but that threw a big hint out!

Ashley - posted on 06/07/2010

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My son is due September 25th and my oldest will be 7 in December...no one has offered to throw me one either, so my fiancee is throwing one for me, I really don't care if it seems selfish because I need things that I can't reuse from my oldest. But you should definately talk to someone close in your family.

Keara - posted on 06/07/2010

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my step sister ended up throwing herself a baby shower and things worked out well for her... my MIL is throwing a surprise shower for me... lol i'm not supposed to know about it, but maybe thats gonna happen for you? maybe you should talk to someone and let them know how you feel or like the rest have said just start to plan one yourself.... good luck

Jane - posted on 06/07/2010

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have you tried going on Craigslist for the things you need? i know i put things on there for pretty cheap or free.

Rebecca - posted on 06/07/2010

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I would throw myself one, if you need stuff you need it! I'm in the same situation, I'm only 6 months in to my pregnancy but I really need new baby stuff too as my first was a girl and now I'm having a boy. I think that every baby should be celebrated with a shower! But if you throw one for yourself just be sure to let people know what you especially need. Good luck.

Kat - posted on 06/07/2010

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With my 1st baby my best friend & I weren't on good terms, so I started to organise one for myself. Why not? There are no rules. Once I put the notice out there to keep the date free as I will be sending invitations to my baby shower a couple girlfriends then put their hand up to take over. The same girlfriends wanted to do something again for me this time as they believe every child should be treated equal, but I was embarrassed to have a 2nd one. We were so incredibley spoiled the 1st one. So they threw me a very small (6 of us in total) Baby Shower High Tea. We still got spoiled with wonderful gifts.
So maybe do what I did the 1st time. Plan to do it for yourself. Send an email or sms out to all your girlfriends you intend to invite saying to keep the date free, invites to be sent. Give the reason that you want a girly afternoon before you get tied down with bub #3. Hopefully someone will put their hand up to help. If not, then just go ahead and organise it, just the way you like it.

Sarah - posted on 06/07/2010

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I agree! A baby shower is not mandatory! I know some people dispute whether to have a 2nd baby shower or not! I guess it depends on what your family and friends believe! Alot of people i know don't believe in having a 2nd baby shower, they think once you have one thats all you get! i would talk to someone about it! i know for my wedding shower i helped throw it myself because my family all had big events they had to plan so my mother and i planned it! same with my baby shower! this is my 1st child and my mother and i will be planning the baby shower together this aug!

Serene - posted on 06/06/2010

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I have to agree with Joanna about the baby shower, you should mention it to a close family or friend about your situation and maybe they will throw you a baby shower. I had my son 2 years ago and i am expecting a little girl and my co-workers threw a baby shower for me, but i received diapers instead of clothes. I'm very thankful for them to do it but i had never expected it or it never crossed my mind.

Joanna - posted on 06/06/2010

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Honestly, the reason someone hasn't offered to throw a shower is probably because of the fact you just had babies last year. Maybe they don't know your situation with money, or maybe they don't have the funds themselves to throw a shower (they can get pricey). Maybe mention how you're feeling to a close friend/family member and see what they think, maybe they can throw something together. But the unfortunate thing is that showers aren't required, they are a nice surprise but never something you should expect.

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