23 weeks pregnant...single and scared to death

Chelsea - posted on 11/25/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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I am so scared...my boyfriend and I recently split only because I got sick of his partying ways...he was constantly with his friends while I was at home cleaning and being pregnant...and not to mention going to college 16 credit hours... I am just so scared to be alone and raise my son alone. I will be in that delivery room without his dad, pushing while he is out partying...I'm so depressed...anyone in the same boat or has been there?

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Kelsey - posted on 12/17/2009

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im kelsey, and im 17 yrs old. yes young but im able to do it.. i was with my babys daddy for 5 mnths and we broke up july 24th i found out i was pregnant july 28th and he told me to go have an abortion and as all normal mother to bes would say is to go to hell so that i did say.... now im 6 1/2 mnths pregnant with a baby boy, yes im very scared of him not knowing his father. and me having to explain to him that his father left us. but hell hate his father for it.. it was never your fault while you left his dad. you made a very good mature decision... now just the other day i got a txt message from my babys dad and he is now wanting to be part of his life. which yea im not gunna hold what he did over his head but what pisses me off is that he has my cousin pregnant and is with her. i dnt wanna be with him. b.c of what iv been through but ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY that things get better... every baby deserves a father. but they sometimes are better off w.o them if the father does not step up and accept REALITY.. we have no choice b.c were carrying the baby and its a mothers instinct to grow up and get ready for the baby . but for the dad its just a waiting process. but when he does see his baby im telling you im VERY much so sure that he will then realize hes a daddy...

if you want you can talk to me... im kinda going through the same thang. and we all need someone to talk to, so feel free to message me..

GOOD LUCK THROUGH EVERYTHING :) and remmeber keep praying .. things will soon get better. ! ! ! ! !


THANKS KELSEY :)

Klarissa - posted on 11/25/2009

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Hi Chelsea,



I am at 24 weeks pregnant and I am going through some of the same things that you are going through now, the suggestion I would have for you, is to make sure that you have a support system, your family is going to be great along with your friends and the circle of moms on here, it is tough but you find the strength to get through it you really do. I didn't think that I would be able to get ready to do this on my own, but I have thought about it this way, that God has put this child in my life for a reason, and if the father doesn't want to be apart of the childs life, then this is going to be his loss. Good luck and enjoy your blessing of becoming a mom!

Sharna - posted on 11/25/2009

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HI CHELSEA,





my name is sharna i have a two and a half year old that has not seen her dad since she was 6 weeks old. he too was just like your ex partner i went to all doctor's appointments by myself struggled to keep my head above water then thought i can do this and i know you can too. don't orry i'm sure your family would love to help as does my own they helped me through so much if i didn't have their full support i would not have raised such a happy and laid back daughter. i did the delivery all by myself then i found support through different organisations and they all gave the best advice. i hope this helps you we mums we can do anything if we just put our minds to it!

good luck with the new arrival and have fun being a mum and watching your precious baby grow into the little human you love.



sharna and krina

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LaShonda - posted on 08/01/2013

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I have a twisted story.. I am 30 weeks pregnant and the birth father of my baby is no longer around. He still want to be in the streets, hanging out with friends. He has one child already by another woman. Come to find out recently the woman he has a child with is pregnant again, and he does not know if its his or not. So the boy was cheating on me because how else would you have two woman pregnant at the same time. I have known him for 13 years, and it hurts! I keep praying that I can just get over it and move on with my life and raise my child the best way possible.

Loryn - posted on 10/23/2012

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Hi there,

My name is Loryn, I am a Casting Producer with Doron Ofir Casting and we are currently casting a documentary series revolving around the lives of five to eight FABULOUS pregnant women in the city! We are looking to show pregnancy at its best and fiercest, proving preggos CAN STILL live it up! While we are searching for single pregnant women over 24 years old, with BIG personalities who are also outgoing and know how to have fun.... we DO want these women to be professionals above all! Elite business women who are independent and self sufficient. Honestly, think Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City-- and pregnant!



I hope you are able to forward this information to those interested, who also fit the bill. Here are the qualifications:



Single

No more than 5 months pregnant

Working / business woman

Personality



I truly appreciate your consideration and assistance, hope to hear from you soon! I can be reached at lwhitecasting@gmail.com

Stephanie - posted on 01/09/2010

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i been there.....mine is a lil different but i know how u feel. when i found out i was pregn the dad had jus broken up with me to be with an older girl with 2 kids. i was alone the whole pregn up until she was 7 months. then he finally came back to me. but i would call him for support and ask him to go to the doc appts he wanted nothing to do with her until she was born. and when i jus wanted someone to talk to he didnt care he would ignore my calls and eveything. and we had been together for 3 yrs. it was so rough for me cuz i still loved him and wanted to be with him. it wasnt until after our dauhgter was born that he finally realized oh shit this is real.....well 7 months later lol.....but dont worry u can do it. it will be rough at first but after a while everything will be ok. with either u guys gettin back together or not. u will have ur baby and really thats all u need. dont stress it to much, it will be ok :)

Ashley - posted on 01/09/2010

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It seems as though a lot of men start to reevaluate your relationship when you become pregnant.

I was pretty much in the same boat as you 5 years ago. The father was there in his way, but was never truly there. Heck, he had his other girlfriend bring him to the hospital after our son was born. My mother was with me the whole time.

I just pray that you have family to support you and help you through the first little bit. It gets better after that. Keep your head up. You will be a wonderful mommy!

Emma - posted on 01/09/2010

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my bf left me 5 months pregnant. family stepped in and i relyed on them a whole heap. its very very hard. he is a party guy too and very selfish. keep your head up darling because your son needs you :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/08/2010

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OMG HUNNIE!!!! Are you still split up?? IF You need ANYTHING please let me know

Lexi - posted on 01/04/2010

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I'm actually in the same boat. I have a 3 year old and i'm about to have another child anyday now. Both of my boys have different dads. My son's dad broke up with me a week after i found out i was pregnant and i went through the pregnancy alone and on top of that raising him alone. He sees his dad every other weekend but i do everything for him. He feels like when it's his weekend thats when he has to be a dad and thats it. The child i am pregnant with now i actually broke up with him a month before i found out i was pregnant because all he cared about was partying all the time and i couldn't deal with it. He hasn't been around at all during my pregnancy and a month ago he decided to pop back in and thinks everything is going to be okay now when it's not. He had a girlfriend for a few months but they broke up and i'm still hurt by that..he should of been building a relationship with his son's mother(me) and not building a relationship with some other girl while i'm pregnant with his son. He comes and goes as he pleases so really..he's not there. I've gone through two pregnancies alone and honestly, it only makes you a stronger person. Your not alone..sometimes it feels like your the only one going through it but there are lots of women out there going through it. Just keep staying strong for for that little guy :]

Amber - posted on 01/03/2010

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Its very scary and Its not worth it to stress over it. He doesn't know whats important to him and u do. Thats what counts!! All he is going to do is drag u down and continue hurting u and your baby! U need to move on put ur child and yourself first. It will be hard but your strong and u can do it! Be positive and u can get through it! Things will get better....

Simone - posted on 01/03/2010

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Hey i was 17 when i had my son my partner was a jerk and 10 years older then me was always fighting well he left me and my son when he was 8 weeks old i had support from my gran with helping me and my son but it was pretty easy being a single mum i didnt need that jerk.
When my son was 1 i met this great guy we are now married and been together for 6 years we have a 9 month pld baby girl and another one due in july he loves my son amd ny son only knows him as his dad.
You will find it hard to start off with but will get easier!
Is your mum in the delivery room an option?
Hope it works out the way you want and you will find someone whom will love you and your son!
Good luck with your pregnancy.

Alexis - posted on 01/03/2010

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how far along are you?my sittuations was a lil different...my daughters dad was the same he only wanted to hang out with his friends and party all the time but i put up with it like an idiot until he got locked up..and even before he went i was taking care of him and my daughter by myself at 16!So when he left it wasnt to much different because i was pretty much used to it just without having to worry about him all the time..3 years later i meet a great guy who loves and adores my daughter and i and were now expecting our son in 11 days.BUT when i first found out i was pregnant he was scared and a lil excited and then he started talking to his friends and then changed his mind n didnt want me to have the baby anymore.he n his frinds kept trying to convince me to have an abortion and i said NO!so he changed his number and we didnt talk for i while i moved and he came and found me and cried his eyes out saying how he made the worst decsion of his life n he was glad i made the one i did..anyways basicly he came around.and now were very happily together..so u never know.this guy could be like no. 1 and have to learn the hard way..or he could come around.either way u dont need a guy to raise your baby..just surround yourself with family and friends..and think about it.its his loss!!you have been blessed and god has a plan for you :) just hang in there and dont stress yoursef out o much!!Its not good for you and the baby!!!Good luck mama..best wishes♥

Nikki - posted on 01/01/2010

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stay strong and you'll be fine. you may feel lost now but your a strong young woman and will do fine. that baby will love you and your expartner needs to grow up.

Joanne - posted on 12/22/2009

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hey im a single mum of 3 an 29 weeks pregnant with my 4th wouldnt have it any other way an when u've had u're bundle of joy u'll wonder why u worried.. i've been depressed had days were i cry but i pull myself back up! u'll cope fine an be proud of the fact that u're doing it on u're own an neva let anyone look down on u!!! the father of my child wont be part of his life he's violent so i'll have my mum an mate during labour to scream at lol didnt have the father on my first 1 during labour coz i seem to pick up with the men that cant grow up but brought him up alone he's 11 now!! good luck with things an keep ya chin up u'll make a great mum an men aint needed to raise a child as long as theres one parent to love him/her u'll be fine xx

Janelle - posted on 12/19/2009

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I am not and have not been in the same boat, but regardless, I am 32 weeks pregnant and I am happily married and STILL scared to death! Lol...But I just wanna say good for you for sticking to your guns and doing what's best for you and your child. You've already proven to be strong, so you will be a wonderful mommy!

Kimberly - posted on 12/17/2009

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Chelsea and Kelsey,

I will keep you both in my prayers.

"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" ~Phillippians 4:13

Gemma - posted on 12/16/2009

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hello i was in the same boat as u had a little girl at 22yrs old my ex parner walked out the day i found out i was pregnant i then went on to do the hole thing by my self she is now 6 yrs old and i wouldnt have it any other way. he has not seen her 1s in 6 yrs i never fault i would meet any 1 that would take her on but i did meet another man that loved her as much as i did. i have been married 4 5yrs and have 2 other children and pregnant with my 4th.

Misty - posted on 12/16/2009

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I am 29 years old now. When I was 18 years old I had my daughter on my own and raised her on my own. I simply let her dad know he was not excluded from her life. It was his choice to be apart of it and I was no longer interested in the life we once had. I also let him know that if his life changed maybe we would work out. She is now 10 years old going on 11 and she tries to reach out to her dad to have a relationship. I do not discourage it. Once you are going on with life I think everything will be okay, right now it's just about getting through the tough times with or without him.

Crystal - posted on 12/16/2009

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DONT STRESS!!! you could lose the baby that way.



I just found out I am 6-8wks pregnant & the father of the baby who i've been with for almost 4yrs tells me 1sec he wants to be there for me & baby, but the next sec he is telling me to THINK ABOUT IT; we're not ready... SCREW HIM!!! Chelsea, I am just as scared as you are to do this alone. What keeps me going is knowing that GOD has blessed me with a little me :) and I know GOD will be by my side thru out this whole pregnancy. You shouldnt have to worry about the father of the child anymore.. I know you want him there, cus i know i want my BD there.. but if they dont wanna man up & take responsibility then theres nothing we can do :( you gotta focus on you & your son. You will be a terrific mother & the father will remain a deadbeat. Your son will grow up with you as his #1 fan knowing you did all you could for him. So dont worry about the dad, DONT STRESS!!! The father will come around but hopefully by then you'd know that you can do this with or without him. Im sure he is just trying to get all the partying out of him before taking responsibility & i know its not right but hes a guy :( they dont see things how we do.. they mature aLOT SLOWER than us ladies too.. sadly, even thru the roughest times like this. Just remember that "THE HARDER THE STRUGGLE, THE GREATER THE REWARD"



you & your son will be ok. you will find happiness hun, just keep your faith going.

Angelina - posted on 12/14/2009

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I've been there. Me and my husband split up when I was 3 months pregnant with my son (he moved to FL I live in OH) and I was completely freaked out. The father was not there for the birth and did not have any contact with my son after he was 4 months old (he's 3 now) I felt like no one else would want me and I would be stuck the rest of my life taking care of a kid while his dad was off having fun. But its three years later for me and now I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and my son and we are expecting a daughter in January. I would just say don't worry about it too much. It will be hard for a while but its not the end of the world. Your life will go on - and it will probably be a lot better without dead beat dad around to screw it up. Just wait till the baby comes. You'll fall in love and realize it was all worth it. I promise!

Celeste - posted on 11/25/2009

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I am not as far along as you but I am in the same boat, thing with him, hed rather some girl on the net 3000 miles away then me whos pregnant with his child. I am scared to but single motherhood isnt that bad theres lots of programs, just google single mom programs in your area or your state/ government and go from there. theres lots of help for us.

Sunshine - posted on 11/25/2009

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Sorry love your going through a hard time.. It always gets worse before it gets better.
I haven't been in that boat Im sorry just keep your head up & try not to stress yourself
cause its not good for the baby. Hope things get better for you love.. I really do!

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