30 weeks and depressed and not too excited!

Stephanie - posted on 05/20/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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so my husband and I have been through a lot this pregnancy, and I guess since I've tried to be tough and not worry about it when all the stuff was going on I am now depressed because we have 10 weeks left and we don't have a car seat, stroller, crib mattress, or baby tub, all the other stuff we have is from when our 2 year old was a baby! I broke down today and just cried for the first time in idk how long. My husband was laid off at the beginning of the month and we are now living off unemployment, and staying in his mothers basement! I have been desperately searching for a place we can rent but since we have been hit with all the crap since I got pregnant his credit has gone downhill so nobody will even think of renting to us! we have only ever rented 2 other times, one of which actually gave us a reference and the other didnt, they were more worried about getting us out so they could sell the house than anything! I don't have any family where I live, and I only have a few friends. I just would like to be able to get out of my husbands moms basement and into a place we can get back to our old routine. I honestly feel like im walking on egg shells here! idk what to do anymore! I really just feel like pulling out my hair and curling under a blanket and not waking up till we are back on our feet! but thats not realistic and it would NEVER happen!

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Stephanie - posted on 05/24/2011

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thanks ladies!! all these post are so reassuring! I guess I'm just a little impaticient and just want things to be set and ready before She arrives! I guess I have high expectations since with my first born we were renting a nice big house, my husband worked up to 2 months before and after our daughter was born, we had the money to get everything we needed before she arrived but now its just crazy! we cant seem to ever have money! he is claiming unemployment but it seems like before we even see the money we are already in the hole! its just crazy! we just paid 415 dollars for car insurance and I honestly dont even know when the heck were gonna have to pay that again and our cell phones got shut off and his oldest son wont stop whining that he doesnt have a cell phone and my husband keeps tellin him if he wants a cell phone that bad that he can go out and buy himself a track phone and buy minutes and all he does is whine and say NO! hes a spoiled brat! but thats beside the point! as for moving closer to my family, that ones not looking so nice! lol! the line of work my husband does is on the east coast unfortunately not the midwest where my family is, I keep trying to tell my mother that I know she loves it out here and that they should move back but my brother is in college and doesnt want to change schools and lives with my parents and pays a few bills so my parents are pretty set on staying in Nebraska where as I love the views out here in Maryland! lol!

Brooke - posted on 05/23/2011

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I'm sorry you are dealing with the stress of all this. Have you checked into local churches? Not sure if you go or not but a lot of the ones in our area give things like that away.You may want to look into it - or yard sales. They are usually in great condition as people are just clearing out room in their homes not getting rid of stuff 'cause it's trashed. Look in the weekend paper in the classified section for sales. What about moving closer to your parents? Your husband isn't working and he could just as easily look for something there. The change may be good for the whole family! You have to remember that things will be fine! You have a roof over your head (even if it's not yours) and no one is going to let your kids starve in your family if your mother in law is letting you stay there. I know you are stressed, but a lot of that is the hormones (I know I am WAY overemotional about every stress right now being 24 weeks and the room for my daughter not even built myself), so I do know the anxiety is way high. If will be ok.

Nikole - posted on 05/23/2011

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Have you tried secondhand stores? Babies grow so fast, so I recommend that anyway! There are places like Once Upon a Child that have many used items for baby at very reasonable prices! I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time. I have been through that also! Impatient as I was, things did start to lift up! I'm not sure if you are Christian, praying helped me! :) I do know that with time, things will get better! It's hard to think that they will when you go through such hard times, but with a little faith and time... you will get through it! :) Think positive! I wish you and your family well!

Krys - posted on 05/23/2011

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I feel for you sweety, I'm in a similar situation. Rest assured, times are hard for tonnes of people right now. I, like you, am about 31 weeks along with my baby girl, and I also have a 21 month old boy. Were in a rental house right now, but are going to have to move in about 9 short days, did I mention we don't have a place yet? Ive put applications for places in BUT one of my main references or actually hes an old landlord isnt being easy to contact for the application processes. At the moment I am looking around my house thinking "oh boy, I need some boxes" so that I can start packing the house. I feel so overwhelmed and so unprepared for our baby girl right now. My husband is working full time--even making somewhat decent money, but with the cost of living, were just barely scraping by. Add on the costs of moving and I can barely afford to eat, or have gas for the husband to get to work. To top things off Iv'e been put on bedrest for high blood pressure-- they think its going to turn into pre-eclampsia again. YAY not. Oh, girl. Im so sorry, I didnt mean for this to turn into a huge rant session.. My objective was originally to let you know your not alone in this. Hugs.

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If I were you I would speak with my midwife (or doctor) about how you are feeling because although it is very normal you sound a little over whelmed by your circumstances. They can help and they can also make sure that what you are feeling doesn't turn into undiagnosed post natel depression (or post partum depression).

Try not to worry about not having everything yet, you still have 10 weeks to go - we have only just brought anything for our baby which is likely to be born in the next couple of weeks (I have pre-eclampsia again so they are trying to get me to 37 weeks which is a week away). You can get all the things you need in the next few weeks - when people ask you what you want for baby tell them diapers and useful things like that - which will help you out loads. The baby bath isn't important you can wash baby in the regular bath or even in the sink if you don't have one (my SIL actually prefered washing my nephew in the sink to the baby bath).

Stephanie - posted on 05/21/2011

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I'm having a lil girl. So we have a BUNCH of clothes from my first born but its the majorly important things like car seat crib mattress stroller diapers, baby tub. I created a baby shower event on my fb and it seems like none of my friends want to even attempt to come. it just makes me feel crappy!

Kim - posted on 05/20/2011

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I'm sorry you are going through this! :( Do you know if you are having a boy or girl? I have a few things I may be able to help you with. Send me a message if you are interested.

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