Andrea - posted on 05/27/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )
I am almost 12 weeks and definitely showing. I'm hesitant about saying anything to my parents because of the backlash I'm going to receive with their disapproval. I'm 36 years old, living on my own and have been for several years, and I know their opinion really shouldn't matter, but I just don't want to deal with the condescending comments and disppointment from them. I know I will have to say something sooner rather than later. I considered writing a letter to tell them, even though they live 20 minutes from me, or calling on the phone just so I wouldn't have to face them. I was also considering having a very close family member there with me for support, possibly along with my fiance if and when I tell them in person. I know they are not going to approve, but this is something I've always wanted and this was no accident. Heck, they don't even know about my engagement and I've been engaged since Valentines' Day.I chose not to tell them about the engagement because of the fact that they would think we weren't together long enough (about 6 months) before getting engaged. Most of the rest of my family is very happy about the situation and have given congratulations and started volunteering to help, but my parents on the other hand will not approve because they feel I can barely take care of my son who is handicapped and will think I'm nuts to have another for fear of having another child with the same condition and not being able to financially care for them both. I admit it is a challenge to care for my son with no help financially from his father or the state for disability, but I do OK. I make a decent living, but not in the lap of luxury. Not to mention the fact that my fiance is now out of work, so that will be another strike against us.They will probably assume that the engagement is a result of the baby on the way, which is not the case. I am prepared to lose my family over this as I was put in the same situation before when I conceived my late daughter who passed away in '05. After their initial disapproval, they came around after a few weeks and loved her to pieces and were happy about her arrival and even supported me through her death when I lost her at 5 months into my pregancy and helped with the burial. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.