Anyone disappointed with their baby's gender?

Sarah - posted on 05/26/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Ok, so we have had two ultrasounds so far, one at 17 weeks and the other at about 19 weeks, that said we are having a girl. This will be my third child as I have a son who is 7 and a daughter who is 4. My gut was telling me it was a boy when I first found out I was pregnant, but two different radiology techs told us its a girl. The first ultrasound I wanted to cry because we all really want a boy. I know I should just be happy to get a healthy baby and be content with what God is giving us as a blessing, but I cant help but obsess over old wives tales and what my gut was telling me before the ultrasounds. I had kidney stones twice so I have gotten a total fo 3 ultrasounds and the last one, about 2 weeks ago said the baby was breech and we couldn't tell the sex... Any thoughts??? I'm quite disappointed and I feel like a bad mom because of it!!

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Pals - posted on 08/24/2012

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wow! just how i feel at the moment.....hoping the gender scan was wrong for me and feeling guilty about feeling that way

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Chelsea - posted on 09/10/2012

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Yes and it is common! We even discussed it in my childbirth class a few weeks ago. I thought I was having girl but when the doctor told me it was a boy, my heart did drop a little. It took me a few minutes to digest and a few days to get used to the idea of having a boy but I became so happy about it! For me, I had to just allow myself time to adjust to the news but after I did and accepted it for myself, it's been wonderful since! And yes, being that the baby is in good health is something to praise. During the ultrasound, the doctor also discovered that my son was developing an extra digit on each foot. That was even more shocking and it worried me even more than his gender. But the doctor told me it's a cosmetic development meaning not connected to further health problems or diseases. So that too, I accepted and now I'm just happy to have a healthy kid!

Ana - posted on 08/25/2012

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You not a bad mom for thinking this way. We wanted a boy for our first child and I relaly thought it was a boy. Ultrasound could not tell the sex of our baby for the first 7 months because of her position. Up until the day she came out, I thought she was going to be a boy, and it was indeed a girl.. I was shocked, and happy and feeling all crazy all at the same time, because I have always thought it was going to be harder to raise a girl so I wanted a boy just like my hubby did, and when I saw this screaming little princess.. I was a bit overwhelmed with the responsibilities of raising a little girl..



Now that I think back, I should have coached myself into knowing that girl or boy, healthy is what I want first, then the sex is later...



We are 19 weeks preg now and I think it's a boy again..but, if I am wrong.. then so be it.. I want a healthy child.. we are choosing names for both boy and girl...



And my daughter is super... I am actually learning more about myself now that I have a girl...it's amazing...

Katrina - posted on 08/24/2012

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I was really hoping for a boy since I have my girl. When they saw girl parts I cried and it ruined my day. I guess I should have went with no expectations. Of course that was my initial reaction. My daughter really wanted a little sister. Im happy she gets her wish and Im very happy to have a second girl now! I cant wait to meet her

Sarah - posted on 05/29/2009

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Well, the thing about it is that this has been lasting since the ultrasound in April... I am still excited because she is going to be an addition to our family and I will still love and accept her no matter what; she is still my daughter. But the feeling of disappointment I think comes from the fact that my son is so easy going and my daughter is a MAJOR drama queen! I guess I am mostly disappointed because my son is so much easier to take care of and we communicate so much better! I know kids go through different phases and all of that, so one day my son is great and the next he is a pain... lol. Thanks for all of your support and responses; we will eventually be ok with everything, I think time will make up for it, I am just really curious how others have handled it and how I am not really all that crazy! :D

Meghan - posted on 05/28/2009

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I cried! Boy number 3 and final baby, I was REALLY wanting a girl. If people judge me for it, so be it but I was crushed for a little while!

Emily - posted on 05/28/2009

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You're not a bad mom at all, and I think everyone experiences that feeling for at LEAST a few minutes after finding out its not what they expected. I had REALLY wanted a girl with my first, and found out it was a boy. It took me a few hours but I got over it. Now I'm expecting my second and LAST!!! and I think I'll be happy with whatever. A girl would be nice, but boys are awesome :)

Libby - posted on 05/27/2009

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Your welcome Sarah. I can totally understand how you feel because I was feeling guilty this whole pregnancy that I would feel that way too if I was told we were having a boy. I lived with that fear up until yesterday (18 weeks 1 day along). Now I just live with the fear that something will happen to this baby too. Basically the main thing now is to just try to enjoy this pregnancy. Maybe go out and buy something special for the baby to help you get excited. Maybe there was something you didn't buy with your other children b/c you felt it was too frivulous (spelling?) but you should get that now and pamper yourself and your baby. It would be a good way to start things off. I am really looking forward to buying that first cute outfit!!

Sarah - posted on 05/27/2009

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Thanks Libby! Yeah, I heard the "its a girl!" and I looked at my husband, who had a huge grin on his face (but looked at me like uh-oh!), and I really wanted to cry... I just keep thinking, maybe they are wrong? They gave us a picture of her "girl parts" and I just dont see it. I did with my daughter, but this time its really hard to tell anything from the picture. UGH! I guess time will tell either way! I know I will be happy when delivery time comes, but I think its just the fact that I can't control the outcome and I have to trust that God is giving us what He wants us to have. Come on faith!!!

Libby - posted on 05/26/2009

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I think being disappointed can be totally normal. I just had my ultrasound today and I was really REALLY nervous. I really wanted a girl because I have two living boys and had a daughter who was stillborn. I was really afraid of hearing "it's a boy" and running out of the room crying or something. However, we did find out we are having another girl. It was sort of emotional anyway but we are very excited. But I totally understand how and why you feel this way. I believe that will pass. Especially when you give birth you will be overwhelmed by the joy of the blessing of this child. I promise that will come!

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