First time soon to be SAHM needs help!

April - posted on 07/05/2010

Where we live, Child centers wont take a child in until they have had all their shots, and are at least 6 months or older. It's not a money issue, it's more or less a state code issue. Kind of sucks. I've been chatting with other moms from my state and seeing how they all got around this little issue, and they gave me some advice, but the problem with that is since our city is so vastly huge I'd have to drive literally across town just to put him in day care just to drive back across town to work and then pick him up and come home. That's a lot of gas.

School is online, and it's free because of my grandfather. We aren't paying a dime for school.

Thank you for the advice! It is very much appreciated! We are looking into all options we can.

Sarah - posted on 07/05/2010

you said you do not have the current resources for child care... what do you mean by that? you haven't found child care or you cannot afford it? if money is the issue then i don't think going to college online would help because if you can afford that then you should be able to afford child care and you also said you go out to eat alot! i will be a sahm when my son is born but i have been working from home for 3 years now running my own daycare... that way when we decided to have kids i would have an income and would be able to stay with my child! and believe me just because you will be at home with your child does not mean you will have tons of free time! once your child is old enough to crawl and walk you might find that you spend most of your days watching baby and making sure he/she doesn't get into stuff they shouldn't! i had 2 daycare kids and found it hard to do the "domestic" stuff while they were here because they kept me so busy! i ended up doing all of my cleaning and such after they left! but when stuff needs to get done then you find the time to do it! personally my husband wants me to get a job outside of the home but i refuse to send our son to daycare! everyone deals with things differently and if its something you want to do then you can make it work! and if after awhile it doesn't work out for you then maybe it will be possible for you to go back into the work force... or find a job that you can do at home while your child is napping!

Cheryl - posted on 07/05/2010

SAHM also wasn't in my original plan but as marriage went on and we interacted with so many other families, we desided we would do it if we could when we started ours. So I had alittle more time to mentally prepare than you did but still when it happens, it does take time to adjust. I stopped working, had our first and moved two hours north for a new job for my husband all within 6 weeks time- I always figured God knew to just changed everything all at once to help me adjust rather than little baby steps!!!

While the first is still a baby, it can be a bit boring so online classes is a great idea. Look into those things you never had time for before, experiment with some new hobbies, try new recipies or styles of cooking, hang out with friends.... because as baby becomes toddler and more babies come... that quiet, down time is GONE!!!!! ;-)

As for adjusting to not working, for me it was adjusting to not being acknowledged, thanked, appreciated, and the status that came with any presentations or papers. I did our family budget and pay billsto keep sharp ;-) My husband tries to do his part to show appreciation and we've tried to raise our kids to not treat mom like a maid but the status was one I had to work through on my own. I've been a Christian most my life so the Bible is pretty important to me. I studied alot of verses about who God says I am, how He made me unique and special, etc. I also clung to the Psalm that says Children are a special gift from the Lord on the days when I really didn't feel like staying at home anymore. I firmly believe it is what is best for my kids and am not wanting to go back to work just because I may feel rotton about it one week or so.

I guess I motivated myself becuase it's what's best for the kids. We were healthy eaters somewhat before kids but I researched and learned even more, made my own babyfood from the garden, you have no idea or space to garden, look into a local CSA to join. Our first house was small so cleaning took no time- especially since a baby doesn't mess much up... but just wait about 10-13 months- then they're getting into everything and more and more toys are added ;-) But now we live in a 2000 sq ft house with soon to be 4 kids- I have a cleaning schedule!!!! But any child research will tell you kids will have better playtime and can use their imaginations more in a clean house than a trashed one- not to mention healthier living.

Anyway, some websites/bks I used early on were FlyLady.com, Saving Dinner.com, Once a month cooking, The Well Fed Baby... Good luck in your adjustment- give yourself time!!