Has anyone's relationship with their husband or bf changed since they got pregnant?

Barb - posted on 07/27/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Things change ovbiously through out the entire pregnancy, but around 8 months 35 weeks, things have change a lot. We don't have anything to say to each other lately just about work, our daughter,baby, how I am feeling, we don't have fun anymore (He said he was bored and things aren't as fun). It makes me sad and feel really alone in this pregnancy. Is anyone in the same boat? My bf said things will get better, but right now I have a hard time believing that right now am so scared things are just going to fall apart.

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User - posted on 07/31/2012

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How I understand... That's how I was with my first pregnancy.. I was lonely I had no body except for my hubby.. and he wasn't even all that great of company.. my friends and family lives 6 hours away... But the thing is, there isn't much that a man can do while you are pregnant other then keeping you happy so he doesn't get yelled at all day long... So they tend to keep their distance because you are a ticking time bomb... One second you can be laughing and the next you'll just start crying over nothing. So men tend to be afraid of that.... I know my hubby kept his distance for awhile.. And I finally broke down and asked wtf is your problem? I got the same response. There isn't much you can do right now because you are pregnant and probably don't feel sexy or anything.. You can try spicing things up between each other..

Why not let him go out with the guys.. Let him relax and chill out a little bit ya know.. I know it sucks for you cause you are feeling lonely but sometimes he just needs that... You can try spicing things up at home if you want or think that'll help... OR go out together find a babysitter before you pop this child out and spend some time out and about.. No matter if it's a romantic weekend getaway.. or just a night out together with dinner and movies or something... Spend a day together.. something... Make sure he feels the love.. I've learned with this pregnancy that if I look at my hubby and just say thank you for dealing with me.. He's a lot better mood... I doubt it'll fall apart it's just a rough patch... Besides if you can get through pregnancy... and having a baby... you can get through anything together! Good luck to ya! I wish ya'll nothing but the best...

Heather - posted on 08/03/2012

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Things have definiely changed with us...some good, some bad. I am about 21 and a half weeks with twins, because my hubby has another semester left at school he has been working like crazy this summer so that we have some money saved, especial in case I have to go on medical leave from work early. I do not get to see him as much as I would like, but I try really hard to be understanding and I have a new found appreciation for him and how hard he is working. It is so cute how protective he is all of a sudden. But our sex life is almost non-existant just because it has become uncomfortable for me and the idea freaks him out, he does not want to hurt me or the babies- which is funny cause he is a nurse and I am not on pelvic rest or any other type of restiction. Oddly enough he has not complained at all. We talk more about our future and have become closer in other ways, more cuddling and really intimate conversations we did not have as much before. I guess after nearly four years of marriage, that included a fairly active sex and social life this time is just a transition and preparing us for the realities of having twin babies. I also think it is important to take a little iniative to keep things interesting and keep him involved in your pregnancy and your personal relationship alive. I insist that we still do date night even though we are crazy busy. I mean amuzement parks and loud concerts are out, but dinner, shopping (window or actual), going for walks, and visiting with friends/family can be fun too.

Amie - posted on 07/30/2012

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Hey Barb! I feel for you! Sometimes when all the emphasis is on the 'baby' and being a mother, we forget and so do others, that we are people before we are mums. You have a little time left before bubs may come, my advise is to do something fun. Try and do something just for you guys. Catch a movie, go to the beach, go away for a weekend, go to a music festiva, pull out old photos etc what ever you guys are into. And what ever it is.....laugh with each other and touch each other. Drive that four hours, drop your daughter off to some family and have a weekend to yourselves. Enjoy being you, being mum is just a fraction of who you are. Good luck

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Maryke - posted on 02/18/2014

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i also read a lot of post of woman who go crazy for sex and i just thought what.. im bloated i don't feel well it feels like everything inside me has moved into different directions including my libido. and that sucked. now in my second tri, its like i have a bit of a libido back but my tummy is soo big and my bum bigger that nothing really fits or works like it use to.. frustrating!

Maryke - posted on 02/18/2014

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everything changes. your body, your sex life :( your stamina... that's what I found. I pee so much we cant really take a cape town bus tour for eg..I cant to any physical things as im always short of breath. I have constant lower back ache and bla bla the rest.. so pregnancy definitely changes everything! and yes its for 9 months then its over and im also scared it will never change back. most things have changed in our relationship and I hav a great hubby and I know he can also not wait for all to return to normalcy.. so yes things change and I think with hormones on top of that we can tend to feel a bit sad and lonely to a higher degree... just keep at it. its hard work but love even when you don't feel like it and put extra into the relationship with your words even if your body doesn't want to play with

Jenna - posted on 02/16/2014

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I am 19 wks with our 3rd child. Things could not be more different. He says it's ok he loves me but there is no affection, no conversation... He comes home from work and is on his cell phone (internet looking at cars and hunting stuff) or on the computer... We live away from our families in another state so I feel alone. I mean I have my two girls and school but other than that... Nothing.. And the horrible thing is I am having problems with this pregnancy it is very painful everyday just to walk and he could care less :( any convo we have turns into an argument.. If I was attention or affection, he is tried and wants to just relax or go to bed... I really don't wan to feel depressed but it's hard not to idk which way is up anymore

Ana - posted on 08/25/2012

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For me and my hubby, things changed right after I found out we were pregnant..I was really sick with my daughter so the outings stopped.. the fun stopped.. everything made me sick including people.... so I went to work part time, came home and ate and went to bed..I went to the mall to walk every so often but that's it....he had to learn to entertain himself and take care of the house and me for 10 mths.. I went the full 40 weeks.. he's such a trooper..Even when I felt better at about 7mths he told me to have a seat or go work on the baby's room..by the way we moved 2 times during that pregnancy..



But yes, I was bored too.. he was more bored.. but we dealt with it..and after the baby was born we had plenty to do!

Barb - posted on 07/27/2012

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We have sex several times a week. He is just my bestfriend and we don't know what to say to each other anymore. I am a stay at home mom in who lives 4 hours away from friends and family. I take care of our daughter and house, I am very alone and lonely and feel like I lost my bestfriend.

Danyell R - posted on 07/27/2012

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I agree, things do change. Im 28 weeks pregnant and i just dont have a sex drive anymore. Hell we didnt even have sex on our wedding night... It drives him up the wall, i know it does. I just dont have any interest to do anything sexual. I dont know, i feel bad most of the time but Ive just gotten wierd about a lot of things. I reassure him that things will go back to normal, he knows too. He sometimes reassures me "its just because your pregnant babe"

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