Help increasing my sex drive (might be tmi)

Tara - posted on 06/03/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )




I am just wondering if anyone has any advice for increasing your sex drive. Since I have been pregnant (I'm 16 1/2 weeks) I have only had sex with my husband once. :( I feel terrible and it is taking a tole on our relationship. I have NO desire or any interest to have sex. I have tried just to get on with it, but I just can't get myself interested which leads to not having any physical contact with him. I just feel very uncomfortable with the thought of intimacy and him being close to me. :-/ First off is this 'normal' or does anyone have suggestions to get past this?! Your help would be very much appreciated.


PETA - posted on 06/11/2010




23 weeks.
My sex drive has nilly stopped. I dont feel sexy anymore. But my BF keeps telling me how sexy i am, i tell him i'm too fat. He says i'm not fat, i'm growing cause he made me that way.
I make an effort, at least once a week. Either wear something sexy, even if it doesn't fit properly or make sure candles are on and i'm in the bath when he gets home, sex in water takes the weight away.
Males think differently to us. They think if the sex stops, then there is something wrong, with them, and you don't love them any more.
If your not interested talk to them, let them know what is going on in your head.
Love between you and your partner made you pregnate. Communication is the key, just make sure you talk, even if you don't do anything sexual.
He loves you and sex is his way of showing it.

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2010




Lol i couldn't give advice because i'm in the same boat, it must be normal, although i still do my best to meet my husbands needs in other ways because i know its not his fault that i 'dont feel like it'. But here's a link i found with some tips:

Tara - posted on 06/09/2010




All of you say that you can do it just to please your husbands needs... but I can't even do that, that's just how uninterested I am. :( I feel horrible, but I just cannot get myself to that point. I feel like a terrible wife.


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Michelle - posted on 06/11/2010




I really cant give you any advice...Im on my 3rd child and it is like that with each pregnancy...i think it is the pregnancy hormones.and pregnancy itself...good luck

[deleted account]

This baby has killed the sex drive. after my second child it took almost a yr to get back my sex drive fully and what happened oh yea i got pregnant. My body seems to be freaking out or something lol I hope it doesnt take as long after this one!

Tina - posted on 06/10/2010




our bodies go through so much when we are pregnant. and this can be really hard for our guys to understand. they also don't get how frustrating this can be for us. first of all.. you don't have to have sex with him while you are pregnant if you are just not feeling it.. there is much more to a relationship. but talk to him about how you feel, that's the important part.. let him know that you are uncomfortable physically, remind him that you love him.. also you don't have to physically have sex to be intimate. you might just be stressed and feeling insecure and scared about it and if you talk it out, that might help to relieve some of that stress for you which in turn could help your sex drive. he needs to be patient and understanding.. look up some information about it online and share it with him... so he can see it's not his fault.. and that its not intentional on your part. You shouldn't feel guilted into sex... this can lead to long term issues.. so be open and honest and work through it together.. you are still early in your pregnancy so it might change too.. I know I went through a lot of ups and downs with all my pregnancies.

Sarah - posted on 06/10/2010




You're not a terrible wife! Does he understand you cant just "make" it happen? I'm sure he doesn't feel badly towards you for that, he didnt marry you just for the sex and you are doing an amazing thing for him carrying his baby so i'm sure he'll be happy to wait, its worth it. Besides my husband doesnt enjoy it as much now because he knows i'm not that into it, kind of a turn off for him. Hang in there, you know it'll come back :)

Jane - posted on 06/03/2010




mine comes and goes during pregnancy. but i try to muster it up once in a while during my off-times for my hubby. and once i have the baby, it's completely non-existent for a few months.

Brittiany - posted on 06/03/2010




yea unfortunately there isnt much i could say either because i myself is in the same position as you and others. i know for myself i cant even please him by doing anything else because the thought of it just turns me off...inwhich i have noticed i get turned off so easy ever since i've been pregnant and im 31 weeks. when we do have sex tho i just lay there and make him hurry up and get off me. i try and have sex atleast once a month just so he would stop bugging lol...i do feel bad but honestly i cant do anything about it but just to tell him that i love him and cuddle but its hard...i wish you luck and if you come up with anything i would love to get advice as well..goodluck hun!!

Lauren - posted on 06/03/2010




I am the same way......honestly I just get horny every once and a while and I make sure we have sex when I am horny, but basically yeah we have had sex like once or twice a month since I got pregnant, which is really crazy because I was a total nympho before I got pregnant and my sex drive like literally dropped off the planet when I got pregnant! It also seems to get worse the further along I get because it gets uncomfortable and such, but I am also extra nervous about hurting the baby even though it totally isn't feasible, but it is hard to shake!!!! I don't really have much advice, but hopefully your husband understands since this is kind of a tumultuous time!!

[deleted account]

I feel for you, I think it's normal, because i am going through the same thing. I am 32 weeks now and we haven't been able to do anything for a while because it is so uncomfortable and barely feel like i can breath. i know you always hear the opposite of pregnant women and there increase in sex drive but i haven't had that at all this is my first pregnancy and all i can say is everyone is diferent but like i said for me i dont even want to be touched. i dont know of anything to help you increase your drive,i hope this helps eases your mind a little bit. Good Luck!

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