I just had a miscarriage/stillbirth when is the best time try again?
Catherine - posted on 06/11/2011
I lost my first baby (a boy) at 23 weeks.
I was pregnant again 3 months later.
My daughter was born a year to the day after my son, but as she was born in a leap year, their birthdates vary by one day. The day after her birthday is always somewhat sad for me.
Most doctors recommend waiting at least 3 months before falling pregnant again. Pregnancies any closer together can create increased risks for both the mother and baby, particularly if the pregnancy was fairly advanced.
Physically, as soon as you ovulate (which means you may not get the warning of a period first), you can conceive.
Emotionally, the recommendations vary, but about a year is a common time-frame, to allow yourself to go through all of the 'first times' without your baby & grieve those.
I didn't care, I wanted to continue with our family plans and felt that waiting just created an extra pain and loss if our whole family was to be put on hold.
That first year, and second pregnancy, were emotionally very tough, but for me it was the right decision.
With each of my 4 daughters' pregnancies, I became a little less fearful. They are now beautiful little girls, ranging from 10 down to 4.
For me, and my husband, the decision not to wait was the right one, and we were lucky to not have any problems falling pregnant. I have several friends who have had the same decision to make, and their choices have all been different.
I think if you can work out what was important to you about that baby, it will help you to work out when (and if) it is the right time for you to try again.
Jane - posted on 07/19/2010
i'm sorry for your loss. it is hard.
we had two kids and one on the way and also, we've had two miscarriages and both times my doc said after one cycle is safe as long as you're no longer testing positive for pregnancy - it takes a while for the hormones to leave your body. w/the first miscarraige at 8 weeks, i had a d&c - it helps you heal better. w/the 2nd miscarriage at 6 weeks, no d&c b/c things were not as developed at that point. both times i waited one month before trying.
you can buy Ovulation tests at any drug store or Walmart or Target (generic brand) and track when you are ovulating to increase your odds of getting pregnant again.
wishing you the best.
Tina - posted on 07/19/2010
def talk to your doc.. but when you feel you are ready to try again then thats more up to you. The docs told me to wait and I didn't listen and got pregnant right away... I wasn't actually trying to get pregnant again it just happened quickly and my little boy is due in the next few weeks. I will say, it can be hard emotionally. when my due date from the first pregnancy came and went I had some mixed emotions about it.. I am very happy to have this little guy on the way.. but I missed the baby I lost. So, that's the only downside that can happen to getting pregnant again very quickly.. much luck to you :)
Ashleigh - posted on 07/19/2010
Hey sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and it was a year before I got pregnant again with my daughter. I thought id never get pregnant again but i found when i stopped worrying about it just happened, i know its easier said then done. Hope everything works out for you and good luck.
Andrea - posted on 07/19/2010
I was told to wait 3 months to make sure everything went back to normal and did not have a d&c. But was not told about how fertile you are after a miscarriage and we concieved the next month (I am due any day now). My current doctor said they don't know why I was told to wait (it is more for those who had the surgery). I recently met 2 ladies who were trying to conceive and they were told not to wait after their miscarriage because it is one of your most fertile times so long as they could handle it emotionally. Sorry for your loss and good luck.
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