I'm 17 and pregnant. :)

Alexandria - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 43 moms have responded )

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I'm constantly getting looked down at, friends or people who don't like me talking bad things about me and others looking at me differently. It's hard but I'm assuming it's going to be worth it. :) My dad really pressured me for adoption but my mom said no way, she would just adopt the baby cause she knew later on in life I would regret it. Which is true, I probably would. I'm still with my boyfriend who's the father and I couldn't be happier. The only hard thing is, my friend's constantly think I'm forgetting about them when I'm not. :( I'm just under a lot of stress and trying to start my life and get settled. But anyways, if you're a young mama, lesh talk!

Oh ps. This is obviously my first, I'm having a little girl named Melanie Anne. :)

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Lacieann - posted on 06/05/2012

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Congrats. I must agree with some of the ladies on here, The "friends" who are talking about you behind your back instead of offering love and support aren't friends at all. The one's who really love you will be there for you and your daughter. It's great to hear that the baby's dad wants to be involved an is there for you, as well as your own mom.

Have you looked into any local early head start programs? A lot of them will sign you up while you're pregnant and it's a great place to meet other moms and get help and information about babies and their development. It sounds like you want what's best for your baby girl and that's what you should worry about. Remember to take care of yourself too though. A good happy you is important to baby too. So is your own education and your boyfriends. ^_^

Again congrats!

Jess - posted on 05/23/2012

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hey im 30 weeks pregnant and im only 16, so i know what your going through with all the pressure and that, and as far as friends are concerned you will know who's your true friends when you have had her, i dont bother with any my friends except for 3-4 you dont need friends aslong as you your family, your partner and the feeling of the baby inside your belly(until she comes out then you will have her) then nothing should matter and if your so called friends want to be in yours and your babies life when shes born then thats their choice, cause i know when my baby girl is born i wont need no1 except her my partner my family and my partners family. just stick through it and am sure you'll be okay, mail me if you need a chat. and goodluck with everything
From Jess :) x

User - posted on 05/21/2012

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Hun, do not worry about your friends. If they are true friends they would realize that you are now a mother. (NOT when your baby is born, NOW! your baby is alive, with a heartbeat, so you are already a mother!) This is one of the hardest things about becoming a mother when many of your friends arent parents. Much of your life will be about your child now. You will not be able to have sleepovers, and impromptu shopping trips, and nights out late anymore. You have a new role and a new responsibility and its called Being Mommy. Pregnancy is draining, and tiresome, and stressful, and Pregnancy Brain makes you a bit more forgetful and clumsy. Unfortunatly, many of your young friends (and you!) may not understand how greatly this will change you, but the fact is, your life is forever changed.
May I suggest having a good talk with your parents? Maybe along with a counselor? And discuss both options adoption, and keeping your baby. It is not just your life, your parents are taking on a life-changing experience too. If your father is dead set on adoption and your mother wants to keep her, will THEIR marriage be able to support this decision?
Keep your head up, your true friends will support you. and the ones who dont, well, they are young, and this is a very grown up thing, Its not like you will never see your friends again, but things will be very different from now on. Maybe a local youth group or church group can connect you with other young mothers?

Fpuppies123 - posted on 05/19/2012

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Im 17 and in 2 weeks i check to see if im pregnant. Im pretty sure i am though. Honestly im not worried of whats gonna happen because I have an extremely supportive boyfriend and we have everything planned out, even though sometimes everything doesnt turn out as planned but were hoping everything goes smoothely. Im honestly just scared of how to tell my mom. Its nerve recking. I dont know how shes gonna react. shes given me and my sisters here whole life and i know shes really gonna be upset. Right now , im just a nervous reck and honestly need some advice. thanks. (:

Nichole - posted on 02/17/2010

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I was not as young as you when I got pregnant with my first I was 20. However When I was 15 a freshman in high school, one of my best friends got pregnant and she went through the same thing most of the girls we were friends with it was their parents that would not let them hang out with her, I was lucky my parents were very open minded and trusted me to make the right decision for me no matter what my friends were doing (and I'm glad they trusted me and they had every reason to). what I'm trying to say is yes some of your friends may be choosing to not be excepting on their own but some of them may have no choice and being mean talking about you, dirty looks may be their way to deal with their parents not excepting it. I also have a younger sister who is 18 and has a beautiful baby girl that will be 1 march 20, 2010. I know what she went through and the friends she lost because their parents would not let them around her, but I also know the friends she has made because of her daughter. Keep your head up do what you feel is right for you and your baby don't let anyone tell you what is right for you, only you can make that decision!

Shayna - posted on 01/30/2010

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Hi Alexandria,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your friends wouldn't understand what you are going through if they haven't been pregnant. You have a completely different life ahead of you, someone who depends on you for their care and survival. If your friends are really true friends, they'd get over it and quit being brats. Again congratulations.

Angel - posted on 01/29/2010

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Congrats On being pregnant!! I know how you feel well in a sense yes. I'm 18 at the present moment. Ignore the weird or cruel looks and comments. They wont help you any!!!! It doesn't matter what others think cause it will all be worth it when you hold that baby in your arms!!!!! Theres nothing more precious than that.

Kat - posted on 01/29/2010

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Hi, I haven't read any of the other posts, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating stuff. I think you sound like you know where your heading & that's great. I also think your friends are very young & don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. Priorities change when you become pregnant & your friends are not the centre of your earth as they use to be. They will get that one day. Until then don't take them to heart. It's important to have friends & might be good if you could find some who are going through similar things to you. Good Luck with it all!

Cheri - posted on 01/29/2010

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Im 20 and i sort of have a simalar situation only my babys dad is 17 so everybody thinks that i will end up taking care of the baby by myself .

[deleted account]

im three years older then you, but i feel as though i can stil relate a little bit. i always get asked what grade im in so i feel as though alot of people who see me think im very young too. if you and the father are together and hes going to go through with this thats great you have that support. once baby is born your dad will come around for sure!! hell be so in love!! lil girls have that power to melt dad and grandpas hearts haha..as for your friends, i dont know what to tell you becuase i experienced the opposite, i felt alot of my friends become very distant and would stop inviting me places but, everything is going to be just fine :)

Keeley - posted on 01/29/2010

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hi hun, i was 17 when i was preg wiv my 1st n i looked about 12 so got loads of stares but all i thought about was its my body my choice n that my baby wud be really loved by me so it didnt matter what ne1 thought, i was even interveiwed for a sucess story for the local paper after my 2nd child at 18 but they twisted that all around n made it look like i had my babies jus for a house when i had already got 1 n alot of other prospects they evn blew me up on front page holding my 1 yr old n then in middle spred wiv my new born that was only a couple weeks old at 1st i was so angrey with them but lookily there were so many people who nu me n knew that i had prospects etc that they didnt take the papers word so i shrugged it off in no tym, I gained mre real friend when i had my 2 oldest sons than i had ever had so if ur friends r takin funnys with u they proberly arent worth it n ull be better off n less stresses n ull get to know who ur real friends r, there the 1s who dnt fuss or moan there the 1s who put u 1st n are very aware of ur feelins insted of there own so dnt u stress or pander to ne of ur "m8s" needs u jus think of ur self n how happy u r also prove the world wrong by showin them ur a fully fledged women who knows exactly what she wants n how to get it jus cuz ur a young mummy doesnt mean u av to give into the worlds sterotypical teenage parent (so called problem) life goes on but wiv a added perfect extra ur child u n her r num1 remem that n u cnt go wrong xx

Sophie - posted on 01/29/2010

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Im also 17 and im 31 weeks pregnant on sunday. I have no friends atall who have stuck by me only my family and boyfriend. I couldnt be happier right now. I think as long as youve got family and your happy thats all that matters!

Sara - posted on 01/28/2010

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I'm 18 now but i found out when i was 17. Right now I feel kind of seperated from my friends and It gets hard with people who are looking down on me but i can't help but to think about the little gift of joy i'm about to have. What really bugged me is that my boyfriend's sister just went through this and now she has a 7 month old son and the first thing she told us was to get an abortion or give it up for adoption. I really thought she would be the one to support us but she was the only one that turned their back on us. I'm Pro-life and i was adpoted and i know that i would never be able to give up my child. I'm glad that you are happy and i wish you the best.

Marie - posted on 01/28/2010

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i was 19half when i got pregnant with my first and ppl looked at me like that but i just thought fuck them its not there lifes its my life

congrats on having ur baby girl

Sarah - posted on 01/27/2010

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Sometimes age is just a number... you can be a great mother at 17. People are always going to judge unfortunately. And i agree with most the moms on here... your life is going to change in an unexplainabe way!! Your friends simply cant relate, only a mother knows the feeling. Its hard but your real friend will stay by your side. Good luck! Keep us posted!

Emmily - posted on 01/27/2010

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im 16 and im having a girl her name is going to be ellie she is due in march and i get the same thing. you always get looked at, you always get teased or put down but you just have to ignore the people who dont support you and stay with the ones who do support you. Support is a thing you need right now and the way i have looked at things is if you cant be here to support me then your not worth being in my life, its harsh but its the best way to look at it i reakon. And you really just need to concentrate on the your baby and your self and dont let your friends stress you, if they are real friends they will understand and support you and if they dont then they aren't your real friends, you know who your real friends are when it comes to something hard like this. Goodluck and dont stress

Amber - posted on 01/27/2010

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I had my son on my 18th birthday and I did just fine its yr baby and u know how u feel dont let them get u down

Megan - posted on 01/27/2010

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Im 19 and pregnant i know exactly how you feel about the whole friend issue bc alot of my friends are mad bc they think i don't make enough time for them when in all reality I don't have time. Between working and trying to sleep i don't have time for much of anything. I am still with my bf of 4 years who is the father and we are excited for her arrival but scared at the same time. I am 29 weeks today and we are also having a girl we FINALLY decided on a name Sophia Nicole. How far along are you?

Sarah - posted on 01/27/2010

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i was 17 when i fell pregnant and it changed my life, my parents wouldnt talk to me i lost all my friends and i felt alone, please what ever you do, do it because YOU want to not because someone has told you that you should. my daughter is now 4 and she is the best thing that ever happened to me. if you give your baby up for adoption you will regret it for the rest of your life. im now 22 and pregnant with number 3 i have another daughter that is 10 months old. i still talk to some of my old friends that disowned me when i told them i was pregnant but their lives are so different to mine now and the things they like to do dont interest me. i've made alot of new friends that arent so shallow and have met alot of people who are young with kids and they are all great support when ever i need someone to talk to i just call one of them up.
im not saying that its easy because its not . although its fun its also a challenge.

just try to explain to your friends that your going through a stressful time at the moment but you will try to make time for them when you can. if they cant be supportive of you then they arent worth it you can always make new friends

Alexandria - posted on 01/27/2010

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Aw, well thank you everyone. Reading all these made me feel SO much better and to know I have a giant support system.

Amanda - posted on 01/27/2010

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i was pregnant at 17 and my friends did the same when you become a mum you tend to mature and find friends with children of the same age you stay in touch with the friends that you have as well just explane to them that your not pushing them out and in sted of them saying that ask them to help you they will understand and if they dont then i would say they aren't friends

Andrea - posted on 01/27/2010

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I got pregnant when I was 18, not married, barely into my first year of college. The father's parents said immediately adoption and my mom talked to me about keeping the baby or doing adoption. At first I decided to keep the baby but ended up doing adoption and he now has a much better life than I could have ever given him. If your friends are saying you are forgetting about them, help them understand that you have a big new thing in your life that needs your attention first and foremost. I eventually married the father and we are expecting another baby. I am happy for you and would be happy to offer any advice you need. Listen to others opinions, but ultimately this is your choice and something you will have to live with. Don't worry about people looking down on you, they are not worth your time.

ELIZABETH - posted on 01/27/2010

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Congrats on your little bundle of joy. I went through the same thing you did. My friends would say I was forgetting about them. In the end, only my true friends stood around and thats all that counts. You want people around you that accept you for who you are no matter. Stay strong :) I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my little boy. I am now 23 expecting my little girl. Good Luck ;)

Nicola - posted on 01/27/2010

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hi, i had my 1st child when i was 17 i fell pregnant at 16 and gave birth at 17 but to be honest people will look and gossip no matter what age you have a baby at. i'm 22 now and i'm pregnant with baby3 and due in july so i know how you feel.

Heather - posted on 01/27/2010

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First of all Congratulations!! Babies are an absolute joy! I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first and turned 16 a couple months before I delivered her. My life changed friends didn't want to hang out with me too much anymore cuz I was a mom and they weren't. I couldn't do the same stuff that they did. BUT it was definitely well worth it. Alyssa is gettin ready to turn 12 and if I could go back I would not change a thing. I had another daughter when I was 19, Olyvia and my son when I was 21, Nicholas. I don't recomend to keep on goin like I did but again wouldn't change anything. I have 3 great kids and now Im pregnant with my 4th (and last). Strangers would look at me funny when I took my kids out with me, people thought my oldest was my little sister. Its gonna be alot of work but it already seems like you have the right attitude and the fact that the father is still there and u have support from your family is great. I had the same and it helps alot. Once u hold that precious babygirl in your arms you will know that this is how its supposed to be. If you ever want to talk hit me up.

Bre - posted on 01/27/2010

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i hate to say this but if your friends dont understand that your baby comes first they really aren't your friends. friends will come and go throughout the years, but you will be this child's mother for the rest of your life. dont stress over them (or anything else for that matter). your baby feels what you feel and doesnt deserve the stress.

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I was 20 when I had my first we got married when i was 38 weeks pregnant lol. I got the your a bit young to be pregnant and married remarks and everyone assumed my husband was taking advantage of me because hes 18 years older than me. Used to drive me bonkers and then when I got pregnant with my second before first was a year old the amount of people who thought i was stupid or wouldnt be able to cope I even had my auntie tell me i was ruining my life and i ought to have it aborted! Now i dont listen to anyone who has anything negative to say, i just prove them wrong by being a good mother and having great kids. Im on baby no 4 now and the looks i get people assume i'm stupid because im pregnant again they dont believe that i actually want four kids. When you become a mother you have to learn to ignore what everyone says and get on with your life.

Sarah - posted on 01/27/2010

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I was 17 when i got pregnant with my 1st and i was adament i was keeping the baby, no matter what anyone said. My parents were very supportive, my mum was abit upset as i'd just been accepted on a college course, but i still went to college when i was pregnant. I had alot of problems during my pregnancy so i fell behind with college work as my baby was more important so i didnt manage to finish college. My partner and i moved in together when i was 7 months pregnant and when i had our beautiful son, i was 18. It was scary at first but i had loads of support from my family. I lost touch with some of my friends, they told me i had changed and i wasnt the same person as i was before i had a baby. Well obviously you change once you have a baby because you have someone who is 100% dependent on you. I never wanted to go out clubbing or gettin drunk out my head, like most of my friends wanted. The only true friends that have stuck around are the ones who have kids of their own.

My partner and i married 2 months before my 19th birthday and now i'm 36 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and we're exepecting a girl. She's due very close to my birthday so i could be 19 or 20 when this one arrives. Ignore all those sad, pathetic people who stare and say things to you, they are just bored with their own lifes and want to upset others. I work in a supermarket so i talk to alot of people and when i tell them im married and expecting my 2nd child, i get the filthiest looks ever and some even say 'aren't you abit young to be married?' and 'you should be out having fun, not getting married and having kids' Which winds me up so much ! When my grandparents were my age, they were married having kids, so why can't people do that nowadays ? My husband and i have just celebrated our 1st year anniversary and we've been together 6 years. Most people are just jealous, ignore them !

Everything will be worth it once you hold your little girl in your arms for the first time ! Wish you all the best :) x

Kaycee - posted on 01/26/2010

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by the way CONGRATS!!!! i found out i was pregnant when i was 18 and im 19 now and im supposed to have her here in 9 weeks.... i do have to say its the best experience no matter what anyone else thinks or say. you will know in your heart what you want to do

[deleted account]

Congrats :) I'm now 20 but having my second! I was pregnant with my first at 17, unmarried, and everything was so crazy! Juggling highschool, friends, a boyfriend, and pregnancy was so crazy! My husband got married when our son was 4 months old. His parents were very encouraging and basically assumed we would keep the child when we were pregnant. My parents pushed for looking into adoption as a choice. They didn't want me to feel trapped either way. What a difficult time that was. Just know that yes, it is worth it! My son is turning 2 in a month and I couldn't imagine life without him. It is hard sometimes to be so grown up at a young age...but motherhood has many rewarding moments of his own. He said "I love you" for the first time the other day to his dad. Good luck and I think it's awesome you chose life!

Lynsey - posted on 01/26/2010

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I was 18 and pregnant. Nineteen now. Same here, but I get over it... Who cares! Adoption is hard. My mom gave up my brother for adoption after he was five months. She said it was the hardest thing to do in life. She had also had an abortion when she was younger, and said the adoption was harder than that. (I'm not for abortion, btw). I lived away from my friends for like six months...so losing contact came fast, but the ones that matter still talk. I have friends where I live now, but it seems now that I'm pregnant, no one wants to hang out anymore. Maybe because I can't "party" like they would like to. Which is fine...we occasionally go out to eat. Getting settled is hard, and that is mine and my fiance's main focus too. I'm due in two months and have been living with my parents for a month, trying to start over in their area. IT SUCKS, and finding jobs and our own place is hard....much less buying baby stuff! Sooo... I can definitely relate!

Kaycee - posted on 01/26/2010

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so i know how you feel.... my family does that constantly along with my friends. But i've learned the hard way who my true friends are and there the ones that matter..... my parents told me that your friends change when u have a baby, they learned when they had kids before they got out of high school, and they were right. i think its gonna be hard but youll eventually figure out who is worth having in your life and whos not

Katherine - posted on 01/26/2010

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Congratulations! having a baby is the most rewarding thing you will do in your life. The other girls are right. It doesn't matter what age you are I was 24 when i had my first and i lost alot of friends, but you find out who your real friends are as they stick around. Try not to stress as this is supose to be a happy time as you are going to bring a beautiful little girl into the world. Congratulations again and good luck :)

Natalie - posted on 01/26/2010

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First off congrats! I'm so proud of you, you're so young and taking responsibility for your actions.
I'm 25, expecting my 3rd child (i've been married for almost 5 years, i was 20) and trust me, some of my old friends are still stuck in the same phase they were when we were all around 18 or 19. When i got pregnant with 20 and had my son with 21 my life changed completely! And now my life wouldn't be complete with my 2 beautiful children.

My grandmother wanted me to abort but i was married and the man i love is the love of my life, he stands behind me and we are raising our kids together.

Good luck with little Melanie Anne!

Tracey - posted on 01/26/2010

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i was 21 and just recently married when i found out i was pregnant with my first. i was shocked. but we knew that it was a blessing. its great that the father is there to help. as for your friends those who stand beside you and support your decision are you true friends the others are not worth your time. you don't want negativity around you or the baby. i know your young but do what you can for you and the baby.

Carolee - posted on 01/26/2010

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Unfortunately for most of us (no matter the age), the title "mother" comes with losing the title "friend" to a lot of people. They will not understand what you're going through until they go through it themselves, and that's unfortunate. All you can do is take care of yourself and your baby, then try to stay friends with the time and energy you have left over. Your life is going through a major overhaul, and it takes time to get used to. Your true friends will stay with you. Good luck, and congrats.

Sabrina - posted on 01/26/2010

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hey, congrats, having a child is the most wonderful beautiful thing in the world!!! i was 18 when i found out i was pregnant & it was very hard on me at first:( My mother worked for Community Pregnancy Centers(a pro-life group in our area that help young mothers/expectant mothers.. If you have one in your area you should look into them) & The father of my child's dad is a mennonite pastor & the director of Youth for Christ :0 So i had a LOT of stress at first. But then i realized i was having a baby whether i liked it or not so then i just got REALLY excited & everyone around me got excitied too..Who doesnt get excited about a baby?! LOL Just dont let those heartless judgmental people get you down b/c then you wont enjoy it as much!!! Have fun & GOOD LUCK:)

Tracey - posted on 01/26/2010

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yes you are young but that does not mean you will not be a good mum. Having a baby is the best thing in the world being a mum is the hardest job in the whole world but at the same time it is the best job u could have. your friends maybe feel that way as you dnt have as much time atm as you used to have a friendship works both ways. i am 20 years old i have a 6 month old lil girl named amie and i am 15 weeks pregnant with my second :) congrats on Melanie Anne x

Mandy - posted on 01/26/2010

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I understand where your coming from. I was 20 when i found out i was pregnant, i was rapped though. My father asked me to give her up for adoption also. I am adopted was went threw aot before i was adopted and was rather upset my father could suggest such a thing. I knew it would be tough doing it on my own but I was willing. Alot of my friends were friends with the guy that rapped me and therefor I stopped talking to them all. I later became friends with a girl, we would go out dancing alot together. I guess I was trying to do what girls my age do lol It didnt take me long to realize my daughter was more important, and therefor she did not want to be my friend anymore because I didnt want to go drink and dance all the time. It is hard but she is worth every bit of it. I did have 1 friend that stuck by me the whole time.

Desiree - posted on 01/26/2010

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I agree with both the girls down there i also was 17 when i found out i was pregnant with a little girl i was very scared and happy at the sametime but i had family saport and the father of my baby and also after i had her i ended up finding out i was pregnant again 2 mons after haveing her i had another little girl so here i am with 2 babys 1 and 4 days old and i was 18 when i had the next i right know am 25 and is haveing my 3rd and we are haveing a boy this time and very happy were married know been together for 7 years we have are problems and work them out so honey if i can make things work for me with 2 babys i know you can and as far as friends go i talk to my friends the ones who saported me and the ones that didnt well they wernt my real friends so i just let them go i hope everything works out for you and your family!

Whitney - posted on 01/26/2010

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Trust me, Susanne's right. You're whole life is about to change...and become so much more meaningful than you could ever imagine!!!

You turn the other cheek because 17 is young in life but you are making the mature decision to handle your life, whether it be adoption or keeping the baby.

I will tell you, I considered adoption when I got pregnant at 20 with my boyfriend who had broken up with me before I found out I was pregnant. I didn't because my mom said the same thing yours did. And your mom is completely right. You will hold that baby and know that everything will work out. You'll know exactly what is important,....something which by the way, your friends won't understand.

I'm so happy to hear everything is working out! So many teen moms don't have the family support. I was always thankful for that (even thought I was in my 20's).

How far along are you?! I'm excited to hear about the girl! I've always wanted a little girl so when other people are having girls I get so excited!!

Congrats!
Whitney

[deleted account]

In regards to your friends life for you has moved on to a new stage where as theirs is still the same. Only your true friends are going to stick with you and thats just the way it goes all through life. Those people who look down on you and talk about you are sad nosy people who have nothing better to do than gossip about everyone else. Best way to deal with them is to be a good mother show them your getting on with your life. Congratulations on being pregnant when you hold your baby girl in your arms for the first time you will know its all worth it.

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