Is it wrong to not want to give my son his father's last name?

Kym - posted on 02/07/2010

thanx ladies for all the comments, my sons father is very sensitive about my son having his last name...im young, but we've been together for over 5yrs now...my sons dad already made a big deal because im not giving my son his middle name...i wish i could do a combo of both of our last names but i already have a hyphenated last name with my mom and dads... :(

Kelly - posted on 02/07/2010

It really doesn't matter, just depends on what you both would like. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and our child will have his last name! I had my father's last name until my step-dad adopted me, but I still use my father's last name. I go by either though. My father has not been in my life since I was 3 & I still have no contact to him. I personally think the child should carry the father's name, but it's whatever you decide.

Rachelle - posted on 02/07/2010

I don't think it's wrong at all. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years. Our son has my last name and we have a daughter on the way who will also have my last name. He doesn't care at all, although some guys are sensitive about that, I would go with whatever makes you happiest!

Courtney - posted on 02/06/2010

There is no right or wrong answer to your question. Shellyn brought up a few points about the hassle of having different last name I was going to mention. I'm not sure what your financial situation is, but giving your baby your last name will significantly streamline the process of applying for government programs if needed.
Also keep in mind that Dean is a easy to pronounce and pleasing sounding name, if his last name is unusual, your child will thank you for giving it yours later.

Tasha - posted on 02/06/2010

No it is not wrong at all, and I know here in the state I live in they dont even give you the option anymore. the baby automatically gets the mother's last name.

Caitlin - posted on 02/06/2010

If thats what you wanna do then it shouldnt matter.

my son has his dads last name but we had been together for 2 years and known each other for 3..

Amanda - posted on 02/06/2010

my boyfriend and i arnt married but live together and have been together for 2+ years were using a combo of both our last names that way were both included and if we ever do get married the baby's last name will be changed as well so we all have the same

Jeanine - posted on 02/06/2010

Kym,

I have to agree with the other moms on this. It's not only your choice, whether married or single, to give the child either yours or your partners surname! I am sure that at the end of the day if your child grows up and wants his fathers/your surname he can have it changed! Good luck x

Shellyn - posted on 02/06/2010

All of my children have my last name. I strongly believe that children take their mother's last name. Especially if different than the father!
If not, it's just a bunch of hassel, school, travelling, a pain in the butt!!

Julia - posted on 02/06/2010

NO, in my opinion if you are not married to the man (or been together so long that it is like you are married) then I would give the baby your own last name. My niece had her father's last name on her birth certificate. He wasn't in her life AT ALL from the time she was 2 until she was 11. She never used his last name she always used her mom's last name. Even in school. If you ever called her by her dad's last name she would get seriously pissed.

Erin - posted on 02/06/2010

A good friend of mine used her last name. The couple aren't married but still together.

I've seen it go all sorts of ways: split up, kid's with mom but has dad's last name. Dating couple, but kid has mom's name, I've seen combo names of both as well.



I think it depends on the circumstance and how you both feel. I think it's up to the two of you. Would the father be hurt if his name wasn't included?