My husband and I dont agree!

Melissa - posted on 05/10/2011

There are a lot of pros and cons for both. Neither of my brothers are cut, but my son and hubby both are. I asked a LOT of my male friends (at risk of an embarassing conversation lol) about what they were and what their feelings on the situation are before making my own decision. I prefer it, personally.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/10/2011

I am anti-circ myself, but if I wasn't and my husband was adamantly against it, I'd be inclined to listen to him being as he's the one with the penis. If he was my husband he'd be standing over the baby with a shotgun to stop me. I think this is definitely something you need to discuss more with him.

Tammy - posted on 05/06/2011

Most fathers want their son to look like them, if they aren't circumsized then they usually dont want their sons to be either. And you'll get the question 'how come daddys looks different to mine?' You both need to sit down together and discuss the reasons for not wanting or wanting it done. I understand that you have read the risks but making a list of pro's and con's on each side may give you a different light on the view. Since you still have got 7mo to go, you may change your mind when you lo comes out. Also waiting until you are further along and finding out whether you are actually having a boy before broaching the subject again can avoid any arguements or tension, and give him time to get used to the idea of being a father and deciding on what to do. Personally, I believe if you are born with it, its meant to be there.

Erin - posted on 05/03/2011

Thats like saying "the woman has the final say in whats for dinner because shes the woman"
Owning a penis doesnt give you rights to other peoples penises. Its quite gender biased and unfair. The decision should be something both parents agree on, and nobody should feel left out. If we parented with "daddy has the final say" then moms would lose all respect in the eyes of their children. Parents should stand beside eachother and reinforce one another, not have superiority.

Cyndel - posted on 05/03/2011

Show him the articles and books you have read and ask him to read them. Then talk about it and listen to his reasons.
But when it comes to circumcision, honestly I would let him make the final decision, he is a man therefore he does have a penis, I would trust his final decision once he has read the articles.

Erin - posted on 05/02/2011

I dont think we as parents should be using the "he will be like his father" excuse anymore.
I highly doubt my damn labia look anything like my mothers. Im not undergoing cosmetic surgery for it, nor would I ever WANT to know if we DO look alike! Ugh!
Its just a cheap cop out.

Brianna - posted on 04/28/2011

I dont have a boy but when i was pregnant with my daughter we said that if it was a boy we would not circumsize him.. my hubby isnt circumsized so i told him that since he knows what its like to have a penis and i dont he could make the decision lol. I actually watched a show on tv about how circumsizing is bad.. apparently a man not circumsizing feels more during sex therefore having better organsums..

Cristy - posted on 04/27/2011

Most men (I think) would want their son to look like them, so that is probably why he doesn't want your baby circumsized. You need to talk more and find out his reasons. Don't get me wrong, my boys are both circumsized, but so is my husband, so it never was a question for us to do it or not.

Erin - posted on 04/26/2011

If you read any of my other posts you will see that I dont approve of circ, but what I dont approve of more, is lack of communication.
You definately need to come to a decision together as a family, he has just as much right to his opinion as you do yours. Since you are only 2 months along, this gives you pleanty of time to talk to doctors, read up on procedures, the pros and cons of both sides, and bring up your own personal reasons for wanting what you want. Dont make it a battle, and dont be upset if you dont get your way, but also dont feel superior if you do. If you go ahead and do a circ on a child you both made together, you WILL be leaving him out, and telling him you dont care. That kind of mistrust is devastating.

Louise - posted on 04/26/2011

I agree with your husband I am afraid. I have raised two sons and they have never had a problem with infections. I am not religous at all but I just feel why inflict pain on your child when there is really no need. Talk to your doctor about the chances of infection it is so small it is not worth the bother.

I think when you hold that baby you will not want anybody to harm him. I cried when they did the heel prick test on my baby. My view is if it is not necessary then don't do it!

Lexi - posted on 04/26/2011

I'll keep my personal beliefs on circumcision out of this and just say that I think it's super important to talk about it with him more and come to a decision you can both agree on. In a situation like this of course that means one person will have to compromise in the end. Keep in mind you've got lots of time left to get this sorted out. Give you're husband some time to think and just adjust to the idea of having a baby and then bring it up again. Us girls process things so much faster and tend to throw ourselves into research and planning mode while our guys are still going "whoa wait, I'm gonna be a dad?!?" If you can stand it, you could focus on planning other things and wait until on this issue until you know the sex of the baby. You might avoid some unnecessary tension that way if it turns out you're having a girl. If it is a boy, or if you don't want to wait till you find out, then ask him again how he's feeling about it. If he is still strongly against circumcision, ask him why and be open to hearing his answer. Keep doing your own research and show him the articles that make you want to circumcise your son and let him show you some that explain why he doesn't want to do it. Talk about it all openly and calmly. If you feel yourself getting frustrated finish the discussion another day and give yourselves time to calm down and think it over some more. In the end you will be able to work it out and decide together what to do, in a way that strengthens your marriage instead of stressing it. I know since you're asking for advice on this that you care about his feelings a lot and care how this all will affect you guys. I am a firm believer that parenting needs to be about both parents. Just because we're the moms we can't make a decision on our own, knowing the dad is against it, without causing a lot of strain on the marriage. It's super hard sometimes. My husband and I don't always agree on everything either but we are committed to working as a team to raise our kids so we have to work it out. We've been through hell and back since we got pregnant, so much has happened in our life but it's been wonderful too. We are stronger and more in love then ever having gone through the challenges of growing our family (and moving and loosing our home and a slew of other stuff not nearly as fun as having a baby! lol). You guys will grow and be awesome too if you just hold onto your respect and love for each other. Good luck hun!!