Not sure when to call people during labor...

Ashlee - posted on 06/02/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I'm not sure when to call people to say that I'm having my baby. What I mean is, when my water breaks, I'm in labor, and headed to the hospital, I don't want to call anyone, because I don't want anyone in the room while I'm sweating and crying and screaming or whatever during my labor (since I'm doing it naturally) I don't want people standing around staring at me like it's some fun show when this is my first baby, and I'm going to be terrified and wanting to concentrate on what's going on. I want to call them once the baby is already here and me and her dad have had time to see her first. What are ya'lls thoughts on that? Is that unfair? What did you do? I just know my family and know they will want to be barging in and holding the baby and arguing over her, and I just don't want any of that until I'm cleaned up, relaxed and have spent time with her.



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Melanie - posted on 06/03/2010

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When i went into labour with my first child the only people i had in the room was my partner and both our mums. It was the worst decision i ever made as all our mums did was fight and argue over everything. But when my son was actually born it was only me, my partner, our son and the medical staff in the room. Both our mums had been asked to leave by the doctor about 5 hours before hand. With my second child i had just my partner and medical staff in the room. We didn't ring anyone until our daughter was 2 hours old. We wanted some time alone with the baby and our son before anyone came to the hospital.

Basically all i am saying is that you should decide who you want in the room with you. If it was me i would call everyone after the baby is born. That way you and your husband have time to bond with your baby before anyone comes to the hospital. Whatever you decide i am sure you will make the right decision

Sarah - posted on 06/03/2010

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I put in my birth plan who is allowed in the birthing room and that NOONE else is to be allowed in. So if you do that the staff are not allowed to let them barge in untill you allow it. I will just make sure if they insist on being there that they stay in the waiting area. I have been particularly concerned that my MIL will try her hardest to get in that room but that will NOT be happening :)

So dont worry about them hoaning in on your privacy. Hospitals have strict confidentiality policies and if you express what you do/don't want, they will support that.

PETA - posted on 06/03/2010

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You wont be the one doing the calling any way.
So if they are going to come in and upset you, get your partner to call after you have had your time together. What can they do, nothing. Its your time not theirs.

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Samantha - posted on 06/12/2010

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hi when i went into labour the 1st thing was that i made sure it was for real then i rung my midwife,she rung the hospital and then i called my mother and sister as i wanted them in the room with me.i wanted my mother there for support (and cuz im a mummies girl) as well as my husband and my sister cuz i thought it would b nice.my mother in law was there to.i kinda didnt give to shits who waas there with me as when ya r in labour and the pain is really sore i just consertrated on what i was doin but it was nice to have them there rubbing my back putting water on me it was lovely but every1 is entitled to there on thing

Ashley - posted on 06/12/2010

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I think it is all up to you! I had my family there and my mom took the pressure off my boyfriend for some of teh labour. During delivery though it was just me and my man! Mom was the second family member in the room and took a tonne of photos of us together.

Just do what feels right to you!

Maria - posted on 06/12/2010

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you could also call them to let them know that your in labour. and then ask if the would like to come visit the next day or that you'll call them back when your baby is ready for her first visitors =)

Tina - posted on 06/12/2010

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Do what you want to do period... if they don't like it.. they will have to get over it.. I always kept it private when mine were born and waited to call everyone. Its your baby and your labor, and it's definitely your choice on who is in the room with you.

Jaci - posted on 06/12/2010

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My plan is to call the family/friends we have agreed on when I go into labor, and then if they want to come and sit in the waiting room until I finally have the baby that's fine. But NO ONE will be allowed in the room until I have gotten to spend MY time with my new family.

I already know my mother is going to be pushy about wanting to come in because she's been trying to talk me into letting her in the birthing room since we found out I was pregnant. But even she will have to wait until my fiance and I have had our first moments with our son alone. That special bonding time for just our family is important to me and I hope my family/friends will respect that.

But my fiance will be calling everyone either when we get to the hospital or on our way there. Most of our family lives in town, or not far away, and our friends all live about an hour or so from the hospital, so it'll take them a while to get there anyways. Not that I don't know the labor will last much longer than that probably, but at least they'll all know I'm going in and my son will be here soon.

Jane - posted on 06/03/2010

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keep it special and private, call after the baby is born. you will never get that time back and it is SO, SO special.

i did have my sister-in-law there w/our first but only b/c we are so, so close and i knew she would keep out of the way, and she is a mom of two older kids already and gave me such support and knowledge. she was a great help once the baby was born but there aren't a lot of people who will stay in the shadows and let it be your special time.

Lauren - posted on 06/03/2010

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I am having a c-section, but I felt the same way as you before I had to get a c-section. I know at my hospital you can specify when/if people come into the room. If I was going to do it vaginally I wouldn't have let anyone in the room besides my husband until after the baby was born because I am not comfortable with all the people being around. You can always ask if that is an option to keep all family out until after the baby is born. I also kind of just want the time right after birth to be a bonding time for my husband baby and I because I feel it is important for just us as a family to be together first before everyone else starts barging in!

Rebecca - posted on 06/03/2010

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With my first i told people as soon as i started labor. So there was a huge number of people in the waiting room while i was giving birth.Everyone came to see the baby almost immediately after the birth. I felt like i lost those first few precious moments with my baby because she was being passed around to our family and friends!
I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and this time i will only be telling the couple of people that are going to be with me during the birth when i go into labor. Everyone else can find out after i have had my baby so i get to spend some quality time with him first.
If you don't want your families there straight away then they will have to respect that! I don't think it's unfair at all, it's your labour, your birth and your baby! Goodluck!

Kristin - posted on 06/03/2010

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I told my husband that his primary job during L&D is to keep it to just people I have previously ok'd. I want only medical personnel present then, don't really want him there. Luckily, our family isn't really close by. And at this point, they know to stay away until we call.

The point of the above is this, if you don't want them involved, don't call until you are ready for them to be there. It's YOUR labor and delivery and recovery, not theirs. Fairness applies ONLY to YOU.

Amy - posted on 06/03/2010

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If you feel your family would invade your moment then I say waiting is the right choice.

We told our family that we would defiantly not allow them in the hospital right away as it's our family moment. And everyone was fine with that. We called when we got to the hospital and were checked in, I think we waited a few hours for some because we got to the hospital at 4am. It was nice because it was a work day so my parents could prepare to visit us later (either the next day or when ever we were ready). We also told them the night before that we thought it was going to happen too, because the contractons were regular, just not close enough to go.

When your baby is first born you will want some time with him/her, it took them a few hours to get us both cleaned up, and then we were starved. We delivered at 6:44 pm and didn't even think of sleep till 10, and told people to just visit us the next day as we needed rest.

Good luck!

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Thats what i did, But also my family seemed to have the desency to stay away until i had given birth. Just dont call anyone and if they get upset the so be it. Its such a special time for you and ru husband so you should enjoy it before everyone invades!

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