Problems with parents

Lindsay - posted on 04/30/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I am 18, almost 30 weeks along and still living with my parents... My mom is usually never home due to work and when she is off work shes either gone outta the house or sleeping. My step dad who i dont get along with usually anyway makes things very difficult he is not working due to injuries and cant work anymore. he likes to tell me that i only live in his house and that my opinion really doesnt matter. he keeps me from my fiance at a time when i really need him. My mom just kinda sits around and watches this happen and knows that it effects me alot. my step dad also says that things arent gonna change just cuz the baby is born, so he is planning on keeping my fiance away from here as much as possible cuz he doesnt like him. He doesnt treat me like a person im just a live in maid for him i do most of everything around the house that my mom doesnt do and he constantly insults me and treats me like crap. i also dont have a job right now because of the baby but i do all i can to try keep them happy while i cant work. i know the way they make me feel is not good for me and its definetly not good for the baby. i always said i didnt want to put my kid thru all the things i went thru and now he will be exposed to it all befor ehe can even understand whats going on. i dont know what to do any ideas!? im desperate.

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11 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 05/02/2010

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I agree with the rest of the comments! some of my husband's family isn't supportive... not because of our pregnancy (they don't know we're having a baby!) his father hasn't been supportive of him since he was little! They aren't talking anymore... i know its hard for my husband but he sees what a disfunctional relationship they have would rather not deal with it right now! hes hoping his dad realizes how much he is missing out on in our lives and starts to step up as a father! I would go online if I were you and look for jobs now since its so hard to find jobs now days! And the sooner you can find a job the sooner you and your fiance will be able to get your own place and you get get out of your current situation! good luck!

Amanda - posted on 05/01/2010

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I agree with what everyone else says. Talk to your grandma, maybe even his grandparents and everyone else that is supportive in your life. I was raised by my grandparents, but sadly ended up in a situation that sounds a lot like yours. If your situation is anything like mine, then you definitely can't have your child there. On top of talking to people who support you, if you are on WIC, talk to your nutritionist the next time you go in, they might know of some resources that can help you out. I would avoid social services, though, unless you absolutely can't. They can be a great resource, but not always understanding. Local churches and charities are also a great place to look, as they might know someone willing to rent out to you really cheap. And most importantly, while you have to stay there, don't stress. Remember the source, and realize that this guy is not worth stressing yourself out over.

Kristin - posted on 05/01/2010

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Call the people who are supportive of you, your fiance, and your baby. See if any are willing and able to take you in until you two can get a place of your own. Ask for help, but get out of that house. You can do the same work for your grandmother or aunt until the baby comes.

Good luck.

Jane - posted on 04/30/2010

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then you cultivate those relationships and leave the others on the wayside for now. your step dad has issues - he most likely doesn't want your guy around b/c he's a good guy and makes him look bad. your mom will have to come to her own realizations on her own time, sad but true. concentrate on your new family. that's where all of your positive energy belongs.

ask your grandma and ask his grandparents and ask his aunt. maybe someone knows someone who will rent to you for dirt cheap or will hire your for an office job. just connect w/the supportive people in your lives as much as your can. i'm sure they want to help. sometimes people don't realize how bad it is behind closed doors b/c you have to become resilient. they probably see a strong young woman and don't know what it's like to live w/someone like your step-dad and the toll it takes.

you're going to need help w/a baby, we all do so start asking now. don't worry about it.

his mom is going to have to realize that you're not going away. it's a tough relationship - trust me - but she'll have to make peace w/you at some point. that will come later.

Lindsay - posted on 04/30/2010

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ive been really thinking about that... and no he is not i feel as if its just me and my fiance trying to do what we can and the only help we are getting is from his grandparents and aunt.

Jane - posted on 04/30/2010

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why don't you just ask your grandma? maybe you both can move in and throw her some rent money from your guy's job. sounds like your step-father isn't too active, is he really going to make an effort to make your life miserable at someone else's house?

i'm sorry your support system is lacking right now.

Lindsay - posted on 04/30/2010

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i thought of that also but my fiances mom doesnt like me because of the pregnancy and things from the past.. i keep thinking my grandma because she is livin alone and could use the company but i dont want to put this on her and get her involved. i had also thought about my aunt but she recently had her 2nd baby about a week ago and is overwhelmed as is so i feel kinda stuck...

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