So Stressed Out

Delta - posted on 05/18/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

442

41

45

I am so stressed out, and I know its not good for the baby, but when you need to get a new car but can not afford it, your husbands bills don't even cover the bills anymore and your own paycheck barely brings in food for the house. I am so stressed out it to the point I cry anymore. And seeing my husband mad that we are broke and 5 months pregnant makes it worse.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

8 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 05/19/2010

259

10

19

I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time financially . Unfortunately with the way the economy is you are not alone .
We spent $900 that was for me to buy all my baby stuff with at tax time on a used van because ours was undriveable , The new one broke down a month later after many problems . Not only were we out a vehicle , but I could have used that money on baby stuff , bills ,etc . The place where our van was parked then put a lien on it and wont allow us to have it back unless we pay them .
Go figure my hubby gets job offers after we have no transportation. We had to rent a uhaul yesterday so he could help me with my job and bring in a little extra .... if you can call it that.
Bills are piling up , and my sanity is nearly so thin , that a vacation in a nut ward for 3 days sound nice some times ! LOL !
Any time we are completely broke and no ray of hope in sight we do with out the extra's we can live with out . Unfortunately we no longer can cut net or phone out cause I work from home and use both , with out I would have no job .
I also have found that doing up casseroles are very filling meals and much cheaper to make . Our stove just bit the dust so I have had to get really creative with our toaster oven , crock pot and other small kitchen appliances .
Also shop at the cheapo stores . We have Aldi and save-a-lot here , but I found Walmart is even cheaper on prices. Plus in your spare time if you look up different companies you can sign up for coupons for different things including diapers , formula , OTC meds . Nabisco and other food companies have coupons they can do too .
Do you have food pantries in your area ? I know they suck when you get that far down on your luck , but can be a life saver . I always found it odd we got more junk food that the kids loved then foods that are healthier . I try to hit them in the summer time for snacks for the kids . My kids are like a band of locust eating me out of house and home when school is out.
Fast food and going out to eat in general is the biggest $ prob we have . I work during the day and my hubby just can't/won't do a grocery trip by himself . We end up waiting for the kids to get home from school to run and grab food before it gets way too late . It is so easy to just run through a drive through and grab stuff . Same with having to do work runs [when we had a vehicle running] I would have to swing by places for work and end up being easier to grab something while out . Hubby can never just order off the $1 menu , and ends up getting extras that kill us $ wise .
I found it easier to plan ahead with quick fixes at home for these situations. or giving the kids good ole PB&Js with an apple and chips before hand or taking some stuff with us to snack on .
Also check out Craigslist for freebies or cheap used items being sold . Many towns have a FreeCycle . I found one in my area listed in Yahoo groups .
I hope everyone gives you enough ideas to help you out .
Good luck !

Amy - posted on 05/19/2010

1,761

18

248

I agree with what has been said before me. When I was 9 weeks pregnant I found out that I was being laid off (My husband is a stay at home dad) so that really scared and stressed us out. Things turned out for the better and after 1 1/2 months I found out that I got to stay. The stress of those months was not easy, and I know what you mean about the car! My car died last weekend, and it's not easy!

Is this your first? Do you know what your having yet? If you don't think family will help out much with baby stuff, try looking at rummage sales. Where I'm around they just started full swing two weeks ago, I've been finding all kinds of good treasures!

Try to see where you can cut back on spending. For food, look at all the adds and decide what your family will eat from those ads. We have a $50 food budget for the week (with 1-2 times of going out to eat as a family each week), if we didn't look at adds and decide from there we wouldn't be able to stick to it. Also, for lunches I've been picking up a few lb of hot ham from a local bacary (It's cheaper per lb, and the thicker cuts that I like), plus with it being cheaper per lb they also throw in rolls with it.

If you're paying a lot for cable get regular TV and 1 disk of netflix ($5 a month), you can stream a lot of stuff on domand, and if you have a Wii or other device you might be able to stream it from there.

A friend of mine who's strapped for cash found a really nice breast pump at a rummage sale for $15, breastfeeding will help her family save a lot of money.

Ah, breastfeeding, I know some people aren't fans of it, and not to push it, but breastfeeding your child when born could help you save a lot of money. There are a lot of ways you can do stuff to not waste money on the bags to freeze etc.

Since it's the summer, you might be able to find some temporary work to help in the meantime.

[deleted account]

I absolutely agree with Kristin. You need to look into WIC...that helps A LOT! I get WIC...and believe me, they are a blessing. Assistance is another good one...The kids & I are on Access - which is insurance through the state, well guess it's government. Another thing to try would maybe be cash assistance...you may qualify for that as well. It would definitely be worth looking into hun. Believe me, I know how it is to be stressed out...I'm in the same boat...different reasons...but just as stressed. Things will get better. Get all the help you can. Look at where you can cut costs & things that you may really really want, but can do without. I hope this helps hun & I definitely hope things get better. Best of luck to you & congratulations on the new baby that's on the way :)

[deleted account]

I absolutely agree with Kristin. You need to look into WIC...that helps A LOT! I get WIC...and believe me, they are a blessing. Assistance is another good one...The kids & I are on Access - which is insurance through the state, well guess it's government. Another thing to try would maybe be cash assistance...you may qualify for that as well. It would definitely be worth looking into hun. Believe me, I know how it is to be stressed out...I'm in the same boat...different reasons...but just as stressed. Things will get better. Get all the help you can. Look at where you can cut costs & things that you may really really want, but can do without. I hope this helps hun & I definitely hope things get better. Best of luck to you & congratulations on the new baby that's on the way :)

Carolee - posted on 05/18/2010

21,950

17

567

I'm in the same situation, but 30 weeks preggers. Wrecked the car Thursday, and sis-in-law is (grudgingly) letting us borrow her car until this coming Thursday.

Lauren - posted on 05/18/2010

551

7

49

I am in a similar situation. I make all the money and my husband is in college and only makes military pay each month, which only equates to $600 a month so it gets pretty stressful we actually just bought a new car right before I got pregnant and the payments make me sooooo stressed out. We don't have tv only netflix and we use only cell phones. We manage to get by, but I totally understand how you feel we barely make over the status for any help we can't get WIC or childcare support or anything. We have basically cut back on everything, it really sucks too because I work an hour from our house so the gas bills are ridiculous!! I am basically pulling out my hair thinking about how we can pay for a baby, but I think that just trying to cut out everything unnecessary has worked well for us and just trying to get by until my husband gets out of college. I hate money it makes life so miserable :-/

Delta - posted on 05/18/2010

442

41

45

The putting gas in our cars in not a problem so we don't need public transportation. I had a 2nd job till they moved the mail to a diff town to get processed so I got laid off with no pay and the job is gone the mail is not going to be processed here anymore and its hard to get hired on somewhere when you are 5 months pregnant. My husband can't get another job he works 11pm to 7am on the rail road. My husband makes too much money (in their eyes) to get any kind of assistant for any type of bills, because we live were white people don't need help just the mexicans and indians get the the help. I had WIC 10 years ago and had to get off when my daughter turned 6. I do not have long distance on my landline, hardly anyone calls us on it, its just there anymore to power my dsl internet. My directv bill is bundled with my qwest bill so I only pay about $180 for my phone, tv, and internet. When I do go to the store I buy items that are on sale, if its not on sale then it stays on the shelf. The car, the only reason I need a new one is that I have a faulty year that the fuel pump goes out every year and it costs around $800 to get a new pump plus labor. My husband could do it himself (he has a degree in auto mech) but he would need a lift to get under the car, and my car is a SUV and you can't replace just the pump you have to replace the whole unit, up to the part that goes into the dashboard to the gas gage.



Also I travel 45 mins to my DR apts. There are DR offices and a hospital in the town I live in but its shitty (sorry for the language) Everyone is always getting sent from here to the one that we are going to.

Kristin - posted on 05/18/2010

1,645

40

305

Have you cut all the unnecessary items from your budget? are you in a position to use public transportation? Either of you? What about a better or second job for either of you? As a pregnant woman you are eligible for WIC, have you applied? What about assistance for the really important bills (like power)? Have you downsized your living arrangements, phone, cable, and what not? Cable and long distance can be considered unnecessary, internet too. Buy off label foods and use coupons as much as you can, but only for items you would buy anyway. Is the car fixable? Can youor your husband do the repair yourselves?



I'm so sorry you are in this position. Keep talking to your husband about everything you are both feeling.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms