Strangers touching the bump?

April - posted on 06/02/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Am I the only one that has a problem with people touching my bump? Especially strangers? It's not like I'm gonna let them touch my child when he comes out, so why do they think it's okay to touch my bump?

Any advice or help?

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Kristin - posted on 06/02/2010

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I'm in my third and final pregnancy and finally had someone not family or a medical person touch my belly. I know her and it still felt a little odd. Although, I am not a touchy, huggy kind of person, so it feels weird for me when my family and husband do it.

I would advise you work on your "HANDS OFF" vibe and carry a large bag or wear a loose cover up. Also, it's okay to say to someone that you would have preferred that they ask first. It's your body, your health, and YOUR baby. YOU get to choose.

Heather - posted on 06/02/2010

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I feel you hunny! I had the same problem when I was prego with my first and came up with a strategy that really works for me. (I'm preggers with #3 now) If someone asks to see/feel the bump I just tell them sure if I can see/feel ur stomach. If someone doesn't ask and just goes in for the belly feel I simply turn away and look them in the eye and tell them that I don't appreciate being touched without being asked. I know that this sounds awfully bitchy, but why does the fact that I'm carrying a child mean you can reach out and touch my body without permission.Good Luck!

Ashlee - posted on 06/02/2010

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I totally understand ya'! It's so weird when someone comes up to you and just starts feeling on you, your kind of like, personal space PLEASE. I mean I would never think of walking up to some random person to feel on her tummy you know? But a lot of older people, or even people from other cultures believe it to be good luck to rub a pregnant womans belly. Other than that, I don't know why people do it, especially the ones who don't even ask, it's just an invasion of personal space in my own opinion. I even had a problem with people asking me to see it. As in, lift up my shirt so they can look at my belly, and the only way I thought to solve that, because I found it hard to say no, was to only wear dresses the majority of the time. Maybe try wearing bigger shirts that don't make it as obvious that your prego, or when people stick they're hand out, just suddenly hear something and turn or something. My method has really been just to look uninviting haha it's been working but I hate looking like a total B when I'm definately not one! Good luck!

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Bethany - posted 3 days ago

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Everywhere I go its automatically a touching magnet for my belly. ITS SO ANNOYING. I almost feel selfish when I come home and my friends/family wanna touch it, because it gets on my nerves and I am hateful. It is something we see everyday and whether we admit it or not it gets on our nerves.

Susan - posted on 06/09/2010

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Honestly I have this problem and it drives me crazy. I mean normally you dont just walk up and rub someones belly so y do people think that just cuz theres a baby in there its appropriate...

Frankie - posted on 06/09/2010

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I hate it! I have no idea why people think its ok to try & touch my bump constantly .. They wouldn't usually come up & touch my belly when i'm not pregnant & they wouldn't have a chance of touching my daughters! I just walk away really quick or turn away before they are able to touch as don't want to start rudely shouting at them .. Its horrible!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 06/07/2010

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I HATE THIS!!! I have had this problem with all of mine ... especially this one. It's funny when they try it when my husband is with me ... he just looks at them in disgust and says, "Excuse me but she's not pregnant so what are you doing!?!" The way people react to that is so freaking hilarious!! I've thought about doin it too. I've taken to wearing hats lately where you can barely see my eyes when I go into public ... this seems to tell people that I don't wanna be bothered because it hasn't been so bad lately. At this point in the game though ... I have no problems bein rude to any of them as they are perfect strangers ... actually I don't have problems bein rude to some of my family that I just don't want touching me either.

On the positive side of this, last night was the first time my son (nearly 10) ever stroked my belly ... I nearly cried. He's so excited to be having a little brother soon and it was so casual and sweetly done as he walked past me.

Corrin - posted on 06/07/2010

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LOL! i so know that feeling. I live on a small island and they think they can just come up and rub on my stomach. Me I don't care cause to me its a precious gift and usually my little one kicks the hand so then they feel bad. my husband oh he is so protective of it. he tells people are son is picky on who feels my tummy. which is true he will kick harder if he doesnt like the hand on my tummy

Kat - posted on 06/06/2010

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I also think, a belly isn't a public domain, Like the top of your arm. If a stranger wanted your attention they might tap you on the shoulder or the top part of your arm, but a belly is off limits. If you were in the work place & someone touched your un-pregnant belly it could be deemed sexual harassment. Does a baby inside all of a sudden negate you as a sexual being or something. It sits between your breasts & your nether regions, it's just out of bounds I think. I'm not at all saying it's a sexual thing, it's just an example. A belly is a more private part of your body than some other parts is what I'm getting at. Shoulders, arms & hands are for public touching, head, belly, legs & feet are somewhat more private, and then there is the very private areas.

Jennifer - posted on 06/06/2010

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I total agree I dont like having strangers touching my tummy!!! I dont care if they get mad I mean it isnt there kid it mine!! So I agree with u!!

Jaci - posted on 06/06/2010

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I have a select few group of friends that know they are allowed to touch my belly anytime I'm around them. But they also know if they do i too often that I am a "B" and will tell them "That's enough."
I did have one old guy in Lowes' come up to me once and POKE my belly, and then told me I shouldnt be standing in the aisle where the pesticides were kept. I was only there waiting for my dad to get someone to reach a mouse trap that was too high for either of us to reach, and wasnt standing NEAR any of the chemicals, just at the end of the aisle. That pissed me off, and my dad saw him do it, so he got mad as well and told the guy if he touched me or poked me again he'd break his hand. lol.
But it does get annoying when people "invade my personal bubble", and even when someone asks if they can ouh my belly (someone I know, just not that well) I usually come up with an excuse like "My stomach doesnt feel well right now," or "Not right now, I'm not in the mood to be touched."
I try to be nice about it, but sometimes I do come off as a bit of a B. haha

Rebecca - posted on 06/05/2010

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I'm lucky, nobody has ever tried. I mean, except for my family and close friends. But if strangers did try, I'd feel the same way you do, because the thought of it just freaks me out. Also, it's rude if they don't even think about asking!! I would probably come off sounding bitchy too if it happened to me, because I don't think I could keep my mouth shut!!

User - posted on 06/05/2010

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i had this alot.. i dont mind friends and family but even then they ask first.
With strangers what i tend to do is touch their tummy or pat it, most of them take the hint and realise about personal space when its theirs that is being invaided and you never know they might think twice about doing it to the next mummy to be.

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2010

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i agree! even before i was pregnant this was a pet peeve of mine! i just didn't get why people would walk up to my pregnant friends and touch their bumps! now that i am pregnant it bothers me even more! i'm not a huggy kind of person with anyone besides my husband! even with my own family its odd! i don't mind if my family touches my bump or really close family friends! but i can't even stand it if my husbands family touches me! i think about it as i've known my family for almost 24 years and still get a lil uncomfortable with them touching my bump and i've only known my husband's family for almost 4 years! my husband already knows its his job to tell his family "no touching" but i have had people i barely know touch my bump in stores and such... i get so upset but i just can't say something to them about it because i don't want to cause any hard feelings! and i agree i don't just go up and start touching random people so why should they be allowed to touch me??? its just rude!

Kat - posted on 06/04/2010

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Yeh I agree with you April, I don't like it. And I let very few people touch it. I think it helps that I am not a touchy feely person so people aren't generally attracted to wanting to touch my belly. I must have that stand offish body language going. Works for me. Even my closest circle have not touched my belly, but there are a couple girlfriends who have & it's more in their nature to do so rather than mine.

Amy - posted on 06/04/2010

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Also I learned when I was twenty that it was rude to touch even close friends bellies without asking first. I had a friend that was in town for my sister's highschool graduation, whe was about 8 months pregnant and when in my excitement rubbed her belly she slapped my hand, I was really upset but understood that she felt that I had invaded her space. I have never had the urge to touch a pregnant belly since.

Amy - posted on 06/04/2010

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I guess I also have the "Hands off Vibe" down pat because there are only three people other than my partner who have touched my belly, my sister, my best friend, and a co-worker. All of these people asked first. I honestly do not know how I will react if a stranger touches me, but I will have no trouble being rude if they do so as I feel that it is rude to touch some one you don't know without asking first.

Joanna - posted on 06/04/2010

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That's a good thing about me having tattoos and a kind of "fuck off" look on my face (I don't mean to have the look, I just kind of naturally do I guess, lol).... I haven't had anyone touch my belly (except family/friends, who I allow) this pregnancy or my last!

Jessica - posted on 06/04/2010

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I work with a multitude of clietns everyday, and they are mostly women, so if they ask, I will usually let htem touch. But as far ass trangers go, I have no problem saying "This is not an open invitation to touch me. I wouldn't walk up to you and molest your stomach without permission, so please don't do it to me". Seriously??? It's a belly, not a stamp across a persons forehead saying "please invade my personal bubble". It's even worse when people that you know, but don't really like, feel like they don't have to ask. Even my family asks. Which isn't necessary, but it is nice sometimes...

Kelsea - posted on 06/04/2010

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I totally understand! Either I get strangers touching my belly and being way to comfortable in my private space or I get dirty looks due to my age. My friend has a shirt that said "Caution: Stay away from the bump!" when she was pregnant... I have yet to find one for myself. haha People need to learn to either not touch or to at least ask before invading our space.

PETA - posted on 06/04/2010

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Some people a so RUDE. What gives them the right to touch you, i think this is a form of harassment. Tell them not to. I found it very strange to even have work mates touch my belly. My BF even asks if can touch my belly, and it is his baby growing in me. What do you do when they go to touch you? Do you turn away, or let them? A way to prevent them from touching you is turn away and frown, just let them know you dont like it. I like my personal space, and would not be polite it telling them so. Good luck

Ashley - posted on 06/04/2010

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I've never had this issue as I have the "don't touch me" vibe. It's pretty funny. I have my bubble and unless you ask, don't try to touch. I would never think to touch a stranger's belly, ever!

Jamie - posted on 06/04/2010

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I hear about this all the time but only had one stranger touch my belly when i was pregnant with my first, and he (yeah, he) asked first. I think, because i look a lot younger than i am, people were uncomfortable being around me at all when i was pregnant.... which was definitely it's own kind of awkeardness.

Chelle - posted on 06/04/2010

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Yes i am not someone who has to have a huge bubble of personal space around me and can go up to a stranger and strike up a conversation but i wouldnt touch a semi intimate part of their person without permission and dont see why they should either. Sure i understand that baby bellies are awesome but a little respect people. I had a couple of strangers just think they could do that and believe me, this time, that wont be happening unless they ask first.

Nicole - posted on 06/03/2010

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I was just tell them its your child and this is your time to connect with it you don't want anyone interfering with that as for friends and family I am more than welcome to share my belly so they feel like they can bond we went out the other night to eat with girl friends all of which have never had kids so are fascinated that I am prego but they def. asked before reaching out

Jane - posted on 06/02/2010

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ah, motherhood! for some reason people see pregnancy (and kids) as an open invitation to invade your space. wait until the baby's here, those same people feel obligated to say really stupid things to you about how to care for your kid. some people feel it's an invitation to connect w/you even though they shouldn't.

tell them you have H1N1.

Heather - posted on 06/02/2010

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BTW I was totally talking about strangers, friends and family are more than welcome to touch the belly, but they all also know THAT THEY HAVE TO ASK FIRST. That has been the rule for me since my first pregnancy.

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