What Do I Do?

Melissa - posted on 01/13/2010

Sweetheart, as the other moms have said, you need to keep an eye on where he goes, and try talking to him about counselling. Dont let him walk all over you, or push you around, it takes two to make a baby. Although, it takes a man to raise a child. You'll have tonnes of help from family and friends im sure, although you said you were a young mom, i am too. Just stay strong and be happy that god blessed you with a wonderful baby that is growing inside you. It's a miracle that she is here, and if he doesnt want to be apart of it, then he doesnt know what he is missing. good luck my dear, and if you need anything else, just let me know!

Kathleen - posted on 01/11/2010

maybe you just need to think about everything.. is it really a bad thing?? does it matter if he stays? if he did stay now would he just take off in a few months anyway? my sons father went thro this.. he decieded he didnt want to have a baby after i was pregnant but he stayed with me and resented me the whole time. all we did is fight every single day. he was never home i have no idea what he was doing. he stayed until our son was about 14 months.. when i found out i was pregnant again is when he finally decided to take off. he told me i ruiend his life and made him be with me because of the kids. and i NEVER even knew he felt that way. he told everyone else exept me. so what im trying to say is maybe him leaving now is going to save you allot of pain in the future and you never know he might grow up and come around.. my son is almost 2 now im due in a month.. and my sons father has decided that now he does want a family and he does want to be in his childrens lives. im not going to stop him seeing his kids if thats what he wants. but its always going to be in the back of my mind.. how long till he leaves again?

ME - posted on 01/11/2010

My sister just went through a similar experience...her bf got cold feet 2-3 months into her pregnancy...the two of them kept working on it and are now the happy (engaged) parents of a 3 week old baby girl...Keep communicating with one another...try couples counseling...and if all else fails...follow everyone elses advice, and make sure that you can get child support from him!

Gena - posted on 01/11/2010

Thank you very much for your input I appreciate it very much! I plan on making sure I have all the info I need to make sure he pays child support. He is not going to run away with his tail between his legs and leave everything to me. She is his daughter too and he will take care of her even if it is from another state and only financially. He wants me to move with him and I cant bcz my life and my job are here. He is leaving bcz he is running away from his problems. He already has a 2 yr old daughter he doesnt see so he cannot be afraid of being a dad again when he has already been there and done that ya know? I dont know what to think but I told him if he leaves me here 5 months pregnant he can forget about ever having a family or future with me bcz that is unforgiveable and he is begging me not to leave him. What woman in her right mind would stay with a man who leaves her to go live in Texas while she is 5 months pregnant with his child? NOT MANY! It will be his loss, he already lost his first daughter now hes going to lose his second and me along with her.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/11/2010

Make sure you have all the info you need for child support!!! If all else fails and the relationship ends, you need to def know where he is and such so that the court system can make him pay child support. To me it sounds like he is trying to find a way out of the relationship and responsibility to your daughter so don't you let him. Especially since you said you are going to be a young mother, you need that financial help the child support would provide. If ever a time to stand up for yourself and your rights, the time to do so is when your child is involved. Don't let him walk all over you like that. That being said, I also strongly suggest trying to get more answers out of him. Try to find out why he feels he ruined your life, why he feels it's to the point of leaving, how does he truly feel towards you and the baby, etc. It could be just that he is getting nervous about being a father and that you guys can work thru it. I wish you the best of luck honey =)

Maddison Elizabeth Marie Bearce is 24 weeks and 2 days old in Mommy's tummy and is due May 1st, 2010

Carolee - posted on 01/10/2010

Make sure to keep tabs on him! Just because he moves away doesn't mean you can't get child support from him. He helped make that baby, and needs to be reminded that, no matter how hard he tries to avoid it, it is his responsibility to take care of. You might bring up couple's counseling if you think this is just a pre-baby freak out, though. Good luck, and stay strong.