Why do I have to yell to be listened to?

Schyla - posted on 08/07/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have a four and half year old and a two and half year old, I don't like yelling but I'm sick of repeating myself calmly with no response so it feels like I always end up yelling. I'm on bedrest and I seriously NEED them to listen to me and to stay calm so someone please explain to me why all of the sudden I've turned into THAT mom who always yells at her kids I don't like being that mom if I could I'd get up and enforce what needs done without yelling or losing my cool but if feels like I even have to yell to get my husband to listen!

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Elizabeth - posted on 08/11/2010

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Have you tried Love & Logic? It works wonderful!! www.loveandlogic.com

I used to yell and repeat myself all the time, and I do daycare, so it was getting rough. I started using this, and when I consistantly use it my days are MUCH better. It's all about giving them choices (both of which you'd be happy with) and letting them decide. They feel like they are in charge, even though you are getting what you want. Picking up toys in my house is as simple as, "It's time to pick up toys. Are you going to do it, or am I?" Of course the first time I had to pick them up, but then I put them out of reach for a day. An entire day without the toys was enough for them to start picking up when asked.

Temper tantrum? "Are you going to calm down and speak nicely, or would you like to practice quiet time in your room?"

FANTASTIC STUFF!!



OH!! And it works on husbands!

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Rita_2_davey - posted on 08/15/2010

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Thats what we call "Murphys' Law". If we were up and about things would be close to ordinary. The minute we cant' do what we want, the roof caves in. With your children being as young as they are its' really going to be hard to have them listen. They dont' understand. As for hubby he has to rule the nest so to speak. Get a bell and ring it so everyone can hear.
If at all possible set some things up in your bedroom or wherever you are resting so that the children can play in your sight. Get some books and maybe read to them while they sit next to you. If you have family or friends nearby who can possibly take them even for a couple of hrs in the afternoon will help alot. You may even find a daycare that will take children their age, if only for the afternoon. I know sometimes' we dont' like to do this but its in our best interest. Maybe someone you know could come in and care for them while you rest. Once you tell a child that you need your rest, even if they were little angels prior to, everything changes. I wish you all the best in your resting, as I'm sure you have been told to rest. I know we dont' like to ask for help at times but in your case, its time to ask. Best Wishes,

Michelle - posted on 08/15/2010

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I am not on bedrest, but it does seem once you are preg and less mobile kids and some times hubbies take advantage of it.
My now 16 year old when I was expecting my 2nd decided to become a butt . He was 3 years old and seemed to take advantage of my not being able to chase him and put him in the corner.
Literally the day we came home with his new brother he decided to show his little butt in the store. At which point I chased him down , carried him to the bathroom and swatted his butt . No hard , but he has this priceless dumbfounded look on his face. He took for granted the fact I was so large , prego and immobile for so long and must have assumed I would be that way forever.
His behaviors quickly changed !
You are definitely not alone in this. I now have 5 with # 6 on the way and I just bluntly tell them...... do as I say or I will yell at daddy and daddy will have to come in and take over. Daddy barks worse than I do and and kids seem more intimidated when a male takes over !

Tara - posted on 08/12/2010

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Im a mum of a 7 yr old girl,two 6 year old twin girls,a four year old boy and none of em listen,.they hav manners they know when its right or wrong and i still hav to shout at top of my voice to get noticed,...ur not alone at least my 11month old listens and me bloke cause e got no choice,.

Kathryn - posted on 08/09/2010

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i am glad i am not alone on this...i'm not on bed rest but my 4 year old only seems to listen to me when i yell at her...and being a single mom there is no one else to help enforce the rules...it seems she only listens to my mom.."nana" which boothers me sometimes because i feel like i am speaking only for my benifit...my mom helps to enforce what i say when we are at her house...i'm hoping it is just a phase she is going through and that when my new one is here she will settle down some...

Heather - posted on 08/08/2010

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As has been said before you are not alone. I am "that mom" right now too. I have an almost 4yo and a just turned 2yo and no matter what it is it is like pulling teeth to get them to do it. I think that they are all just trying us and trying to make sure that this baby isn't going to make them any less a part of the family. Good luck momma!

Sara - posted on 08/07/2010

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I have become that mom too... I am not on bed rest but my 5 year old and my 15 month old do not listen to me unless I scream like a crazy lady. The same goes for my husband! You are not alone!

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Your not alone. I'm not on bedrest but I understand feeling like you are always yelling. My 3 yr old and 1 yr old just dont get it and seem to pucsh if I dont yell. Like you I hate being "that Mom" I'm hoping it's a phase that they are going through to push their limits.

Jonna - posted on 08/07/2010

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I am so sorry to hear that you are on bed rest with two little ones at home. I had to go on bed rest a few years back when I just had one little one to deal with. I now have a 4 1/2 yr old, a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old and am expecting again! I do understand what you mean about the yelling to be listened to. I think that because you cannot get up to enforce the rules your children are testing the limits. If you have someone at home to help you I would ask them to bring the disobeying child to you to deal with when there is a problem. Try and intervene before there is a huge fight from the kids if you can. Good Luck!

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