UGH! Brain injury is frustrating!

Dina - posted on 09/22/2010

Teresa, I am having the same battle with my son. He is 13, TBI since age 6. Made an unfounded learning disability worse. Son has learned to ask for more time. Nagging gets us no where. As for trash and recycling, he gets .50 a bag, at the end of 2 weeks, if he takes it out with only 1 request. Down to 25 if I have to ask again, and then to nothing.

We ahve 8 hours of homework a night. And I get so angry, becuase it would not take a normal child that long. I know that it is not his fault but that does not make all the homework any easier. He has an IEP but his new school can not honor the old school's procedures. WE are struggling until the 7 of Oct, when we get the new IEP, or whatever they are going to do.

Hubby was not around when it happened, has not been around thru all the tests, or the many IEPs. The behavior charts nor the probs as school. Bullies, frustration at not being able to find his own way, etc.

I love him to death but am still quite angry at the whole process. And at the school's lack of understanding!

Teresa - posted on 03/03/2009

Thanks for checking in, Kara! I'm sorry things have been so frustrating - I'm sure it's hard for Karlee, too.



I couldn't agree more that TBI is just as hard on a marriage as daily life with the TBI victim. My husband often forgets because he wasn't around yet when my son's accident happened and he has FAR less patience than I do. Sunday, I went to church and then took an elderly woman from church and her sister grocery shopping. It wound up taking several more hours than I'd anticipated and my husband kept calling me saying, "I don't know how you stay home with Mason every day!" Some days, I don't know, either. Other than the fact that he's my child and I love him so deeply, being with him is a 100% frustrating experience! Some of it may simply be normal for a 9 1/2 year old boy, but having to ask him 4, 5, 6, 7 times to do ONE simple task (like close the cupboard after he gets a cup out) gets so old. I often wind up just doing whatever needs to be done so I can avoid harping on my son, but I still grumble while doing it. I'm sure that sounds petty, but that one little thing is merely a snowflake on the glacier that is my frustration with my son :) I just get tired and worn out from feeling like I'm constantly nagging or doing battle for the most basic and simplistic of stuff. Yesterday, I asked him to take out the trash and put bags of recycling into the back of my van. He wanted to watch Scooby Doo. So I reminded him about the trash about once an hour for FOUR hours before finally saying, "It's going to be dark soon. Your dad will be home and he will not be happy if the trash is still in here. You have been watching Scooby for 4 hours and have done no other chores today. Please go NOW to take out the trash." He still grumbled and rolled his eyes and then wound up hysterically bawling because taking out the trash got him so frustrated. Nothing can ever just be NORMAL and it gets old.



Some days are better than others, but I know that good days happen when I ask nothing of him and have zero expectations. Sad, isn't it?