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Families of Civilian Contractors serving in Iraq and Afghanistan

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Hey All

Helene - posted on 04/03/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Newbie to the group here :-)

My husband has been overseas now since the start of January, deployments we are used to as a military family, but as a civilian family it's definately different. For one not even family or friends understand how it feels, they certainly don't realize that my husband is still in a war zone, all they seem to see is $$ and how he is going to help them out.

Where is the support of the contractors out there and for the families left behind at home, I've yet ot see any of it. Today my Husband and I were talking and something he said, made me wish he was home more than ever, I started crying and that's not something I like doing, I don't want to make things worse for him. He has told me he hates being away, but he now feels like he is doing something to make comms better for the military still out there. I love my Husband dearly and I understand why he is out there, but sometimes I miss him more than anything in the world.

Our son is two and every time he gets to see Daddy on webcam he goes crazy and shouts Daddy Daddy Daddy, it's enough to bring me to tears every time. My husband says he feels guilty being away from us, I just hope thta doesn't stay with him when he does come home.

Anyways that's enough of me ranting, I hope I haven't put anyone off wanting to say "hi" hahahaha.

Hope you all have a great Easter Weekend.

Beth

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3 Comments

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Sheri - posted on 07/24/2010

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Hi! I am so glad I am not alone in these feelings. I too encounter many people saying things like "well, its good money" and "he is not fighting a war" and end the discussion just like that. My husband had been away for 7 months, came home for 14 days and gone again for another 6. It is very hard to cram family dynamics in 14 days. My kids r 9,19 and 29 so their issues r so wide spread. We just set up Skype and that helps. Experiencing so many of those moments of "Oh, I wish I could ask my DH this" or needing just a big ole' hug:0(:0( Most recently, I have felt a greater depression than I have ever experienced. My DH has been in since 2008. I realized this last time after R&R that I was trying so hard to put up a happy face when I just wanted to cry. I finally did and it was like a tropical storm. I finally cried to him as well and u know he was glad I did b/c it made him feel needed and above all loved.
Anyway, sounding kind of corny. Even if I do not get a reply, boy, does it feel good to vent:0)
Take care of yourselves and family

Linda - posted on 04/11/2010

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Hi Beth! I'm a newbie too. I came across this community while searching for a support group for our situation. There are plently of groups addressing those who are in the military, but it's as if the contractors and their families are non-existant.

I have been so emotional these pass couple of weeks and I'm doing my best to not put this on my fiance', but he knows when something isn't 100% with me, but I tell him I'm doing good. It's tough because our relationship is just 7 months old. I wonder at times, if he thinks I'm having second thoughts about him, because of his job, but that is farthest from the truth.

We work through these moments, but they seem to always come back. I contribute it to the depression and frustration of missing each other and hope that as time passes we'll get more comfortable and confident in our relationship and not let the unknown worry us so much.

Stephanie - posted on 04/05/2010

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HI Beth! Welcome! And don't worry about "ranting". We all need to do that time and again. Especially for those of us that are in this position. My husband has been over there for 4 years so I understand the missing him like crazy part! Feel free to rant anytime. That's why we are here!

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