Help and advice needed

Ceci - posted on 08/15/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My ex-husband and I share custody of our adopted daughter. Upon returning to me yesterday she complained about "burning" in her private parts. After asking her if she had wiped properly etc she told me that her "daddy had hurt her" and had touched her down there. She has told me this in the past without provocation, but the last time I let it pass. Now it has happened again I understand I need to take action, but have no idea where to start. I guess I could file a police report but what good would that do without proof? Please help I have no idea what to do....

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Yvonne - posted on 09/13/2011

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Confirm with Pediatrician that something occurred. But my baby telling me something of that nature should be enough. I would seriously look into this matter. I pray it is a big misunderstanding. It's a sad scenario.

Lisa - posted on 09/01/2011

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take her to the doctor and get her checked he would be able to tell if anything has happened etc, you can explain concerns to him and its is kept confidetial unless proved and then police will be involved



fingers crossed and hugs

Sarah - posted on 08/18/2011

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If you haven't already you should take her to the hospital immediately to have her checked out, the doctors should not find anything abnormal in that area on a little girl and if they do then something probably happened. I would also ask that a police officer be called while you are at the hospital so that you can file a report and give him the doctors medical exam information right then and there. I would also call CPS on the same day. Let them know that you are taking her or have taken her to the doctor to have her examined and let them know that you already called the police to file a report. They will want to talk to her and you about what has happened. Just be honest. They will also probably ask you if you want to obtain full custody of her or take your ex to court over the issue, you will have to be prepared to answer this question. They may even ask you if you want to press charges if the alligations are founded and if I was you I would vehemently say, "yes", this will not only show that you care about her safety but it will also show the judge that you are serious about getting custody of her and never allowing this to happen to her again. If she has come to you before and told you what was going on and you did nothing then that is not going to look good for you. As parents it is our duty to protect our children even if what they are alledging seems impossible. At the very least they will tell you that you should have had her checked out by a doctor. But do what you can now, immediately, don't wait any longer. Even if nothing did happen there is something wrong and she needs to be put into counseling. There is something she is trying to tell you. Kids don't make up stories to hurt people they make up stories because they are trying to get attention because something is bothering them and whatever is bothering her needs to be discussed in counseling.

Teresa - posted on 08/15/2011

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I would take her to see a Doc. as soon as you can!!! I was abused by my father and even thou he said not to tell I wanted my Mom to save me. I was to afraid to speak up until after he died by then I was eleven. You must be very close with her cause it's hard to tell on your parent. So she knew she could count on you. You must be a wonderful Mommy!!!!!

Ceci - posted on 08/15/2011

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Thank you Teresa for responding so quickly. I have joint custody, unfortunately. A very long and complicated situation. I will be in touch.

Teresa - posted on 08/15/2011

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Oh u poor thing!!! I'm sure ur heart hit the floor. First was to listen, which u did.! Second is to protect her, by never making her deal with him on her own. Do you have full custody? I'd take her to the hospital where they can test her and they'll be able to tell what happen and they'll get the right people involved. I'm so sad for you and your daughter. Please keep in touch.

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