why will my 2 year old not potty train??

Christina - posted on 12/21/2009 ( 56 moms have responded )

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I have tried everything she is very stubborn will not use the potty for anything. Does anyone have any suggestions???

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Jennifer - posted on 12/21/2009

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Hi, my daughter is 6 1/2 now but I actually went through that also with her. I decided that when she was 2 1/2 almost 3 I couldn't take her not being potty trained any more. What I did was any time I was at home she didn't wear a diaper and every hour I would ask her if she had to go and take her in the bathroom and took her every time I went so she would see mommy does this too. She's going to mess a few times and it'll be a month or 2 before you see results and any time you two go out or to bed make sure to diaper her to be safe until she is letting you know when she has to potty completely on her own.....trust me learned that one the hard way lol. Also when she does poty on her own award her with high fives and congrats kids love to feel like they just did something that amazed you. It may take a while it was almost 5 months before Chey had it close to down packed but it's worth it. I do wish you the best on this and remember it is normal, there is no required age just whenever they're ready, but taking the diaper off gives them a jump start to the training.

Kim - posted on 12/21/2009

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I had a lot of trouble with my daughter and here's what worked and made her excited: First I took her shopping to buy poster board, markers and stickers (she picked everything). We made a poster to put on the bathroom wall so that when she went potty, she got to pick a sticker to put on her "potty board". We also picked up some cheap prizes (just party favors and such) and a container to keep them in and let her know that if she made it a day, week, etc that she could pick a prize out of the potty bucket. The potty prizes also worked on pooping in the potty as this was something she really didn't want to do. She is 3 1/2 now and rarely ever has an accident. Also, it's not a good idea to ask her if she needs to go because 9 times out of 10 she will say "no" just so she doesn't have to stop what she's doing and then you end up with an accident. Good luck and I hope this helps!

Carolyn - posted on 12/22/2009

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She's simply not ready yet. The more pressure you apply, the more firmly she'll dig her heels in. She's only two. A lot of kids just aren't ready, no matter how advanced they may be in other ways, to potty train before 3 or 4. Don't let the day care tell you otherwise, they're just lazy and don't want to deal with diapers a day longer than they have to. Something my son's doctor told me when I had the same concerns a million years ago was, "Don't worry, I've never seen a healthy child head off to college in diapers." Just take that to heart and don't be too hard on yourself or her. She'll do it when she's good and ready, and usually it'll be because her diapers are simply inconvenient.

Michelle - posted on 12/22/2009

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I must agree with the other mothers our toddlers are the ones to decide when they are ready. My 4 year old son got it at 3 1/2 and I know I was ready for him to use the potty way before that.I also have a 2 year old son and he at this point refuses to use the potty. So I am hoping at 3 or 3 1/2 he get's it. But don't worry she will come around.

Kim - posted on 12/22/2009

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Maybe she's not ready....I know you probably are..........Did you try taking her to the store and buying big girl undies...????
I know some mom's use m & m's when they use the potty...???
My girls were potty trained in a week, using real undies, had a few accidents but they get it when they actually feel wet, and they don't like it...good luck,hang in there it will happen

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Elizabeth - posted on 08/02/2012

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Having a really hard time getting my 2yr old to go potty she screams n cries everytime I take her what should I do? I put books beside her potty to make her feel comfortable but that didn't help. For my boy it was so easy n I started at the same age n for my son it only took me a week but my little "Diva" it is not working lol help me please!

Erika - posted on 03/15/2010

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She's not ready. You seem to be in a hurry to get her potty trained, but if she is not ready it won't make a differencr what you want or do. Back off, relax a bit. I have never seen a kindergartner that wasn't potty trained, unless it's a special needs child.
She will let you know when she's ready.

Pamela - posted on 03/07/2010

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She's not ready iif she's really smart she may be exersizing her personal right to choose, like a Tantrum it gives her power and control if you don't let it bother you and make her responsible for her own mess"Mommy's underware is clean and dry if yours are dirty you'll have to fix it here's the TP and diapers "(STAND BACK AND SUPERVISE IF TOO MESSY SET HER IN THE TUB TO BATHE AND CLEAN UP DON'T DO IT FOR HER NO MATTER HOW TEMPTING) it may take about a day or 2 but they want to be clean and will figure out real quick that they have to use the potty to be that way. She should be about 20months to30months and showing real intrest in doing it plus true awareness of the bodily function.

Amanda - posted on 02/27/2010

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I actually noticed the more that I pushed the potty on my 3 yr old when she was 2, she was less interested in it than doing it herself. Then one day she came around and decided that she wanted to go herself, now she is 3 and already night time potty trained.

Cindy - posted on 01/27/2010

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Apparently he's not ready........Parents try too hard to make their kids do stuff.....we never forced our son........when he was old enough to understand.....I bribed him...I told him I'd buy him a toy he wanted.......he went right over to the potty and he's used it ever since.....(we laughed at how simple it really was)

Glory - posted on 01/21/2010

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you have to remember that this whole time we tought them that going in the diapers is ok...like everything else, you are introducing something new, so it can be scary for them..is funny because when my kids where little I never bought the little potty for them..I put them straight into the toilet...my oldest is 21 and my youngest is 7.(A total of 5 children). They where train preyty fast...the way I did it, was, when they where little and they dirty their diaper, and walked around like nothing, I new they where not ready to toilet train....when they got a little older, and I noticed they would hide under the table or go on a corner quietly so they can do their business, and than come crying to me to change them, that's when I knew they where ready...they would come crying to me, to change them and I would just wait a little bit while they where uncomfortable, NEVER wait to the point that they would get a diaper rash, but just enough to let them know it was an uncomfortable feeling, if they did #2 than I would walk it over to the toilet and show them where it belongs...buy fun underwear...is messy sometimes but they will get it ...don't get discourage all babies are different....

Reina - posted on 01/20/2010

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Stop trying for a while. After a time, try again, but don't force her. She will go to the toilet when she's ready, she just might not be ready now. I promise she'll be trained. We all use the toilet eventually.

Jackie - posted on 01/19/2010

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I am not sure that this will work but it did for me when I first start train my daughter that is not 12 I try the same way everyone else did, then one day I had to use the rest room and did that she seen me on the potty so she got on it and every time I would us it she would too but at first she was doing it because she seen me do it and one day I was just sitting there using the phone and she I took her pamper off and she sat the and poohpee in the pot and I praised her and she has been doing it every since not you can try that good luck love

Brenda - posted on 01/17/2010

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Relax- it'll come in time. I have 5- NO-I'm not an expert. I just about drove myself crazy with the same question. Every child is unique and will do the right stuff on their right day. I'm not saying- don't bother- just be patient.
One fact I know- girls usually potty train faster than boys- that's from a study- not life experience.
Don't let your childs self esteem become part of the process when it's not working but reward and celebrate with her when she does become trained.
I know a father who played a large part in his youngest daughters potty training. This little girl still wasn't going potty at age 4. She just figured in her own way- why? I'll just let Mom and Dad do the work.
Then Dad took her to playschool- boy! That was fun. But.. after Dad said- " You can't go to playschool- only big girls get to go and you're not one yet because you don't use the potty. Behold!!! Instant potty train!
Patience and diligence. If your child doesn't train by 36 mos you may want to check with your Dr. Sometimes there are medical issues. I know Polycystic Kidney Disease can be missed or simply just begin to appear at a later age. PCD wouldn't have an effect on initial training but would pose an indication if your child was bed wetting frequently. nothing to woory about at this time.Just an example.

Billie - posted on 01/17/2010

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my daughter is 2 1/2 yrs old I went thought the same thing ... Let her run around the the naked that's how my 2 yr old started holding it and sayinh mommy I gotta pee.. I put in panies when someone came over if she has an accident she won't like the feeling of wetness.. mit took my daughter about 3 weeks till she was potty trained make sire you don't make plans to leave the house for about a week if you do only put a diaper on her when ur in the car and night time... My daughter is only in a diaper at night now...

Laurie - posted on 01/16/2010

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We use elmo goes potty book. I have a almost 3 yr old son and he doesnt like the potty either. But he loves elmo, we got the elmo potty seat and even a stuffed elmo when elmo goes on the small potty my son wants to try on the big one. Its taking time but he is trying. There are some great books at the book store too. The one I have is the no cry-potty training solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Hope it goes better.

Fiona - posted on 01/16/2010

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yes Kirstin i agree wit you. I talked to hannah about it and she was ready i never forced the issue she herself was ready.........................

[deleted account]

Relax: They will all eventually do it. I was told that two years is still pretty young for this. Kids are usually eager to learn new skills (crawling, walking, eating with fork, etc..) and so on their own time they will eventually also master this skill.



How did I do it? Talk about it when you go to the bathroom and walk her through all the steps. Eventually, my daughter started telling me that and when she had to go.



A friend of mine told me:"Just because we pull on it, the grass won't grow faster!"

[deleted account]

Relax: They will all eventually do it. I was told that two years is still pretty young for this. Kids are usually eager to learn new skills (crawling, walking, eating with fork, etc..) and so on their own time they will eventually also master this skill.



How did I do it? Talk about it when you go to the bathroom and walk her through all the steps. Eventually, my daughter started telling me that and when she had to go.



A friend of mine told me:"Just because we pull on it, the grass won't grow faster!"

Fiona - posted on 01/13/2010

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Hi ya,

it is a tough one, as what works for one may not work for another. My daught was mad into in the night garden so i bought an in the night garden potty and toilet seat. Which for the first two to three days all she done was wee on the floor etc it really does try your patience. Then i bought upsy daisy under wear she loved them that much she never reallt had accicents after that. I would remind her do you need potty caus e you dont wanna wet upsy daisy, it worked for us. She does still wear a pull to bed a night, she worked well and is trainined since she was 18 months now. good luck with it. Though they do reckon if a child does refuse so much you should leave it and try again in two to three months i think.. that way you wont turn the child off this.

Rochelle - posted on 01/12/2010

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av u tried a star chart i tried everything but no such joy so i let my son do it in his own time he is just out of pull ups the last few weeks n hes 5 in march x

Sue - posted on 01/09/2010

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Christina,

I think you're trying to do this too soon. I had two sons 24 mos. 6 days a apart born in Oct. I also had a daughter from my previous marriage that was 7 when I remarried. Just about the time (2 1/2 yrs.) that I should have started potty training the older son, my daughter was killed in a tragic accident. Having my world turned completely upside down, the potty training immediately went to the bottom of my list. I shut her bedroom door & didn't go back in for six months until a friend came & helped me sort things out, etc. By that time it was Aug. or Sept. and I was still in total denial, however, the weather was still warm and I started potty training. By the time he turned three, he was completely potty trained and never wet the bed not once! (and we praised him every time he went!) I've really forgotten exactly about the second one, but I think he was almost three as well and never wet the bed either.

I think you need to consider what's going on with your family. But if you just have a normal family and everything's going as normal, you should wait a little longer and then try again. If she still doesn't respond well, wait another little while and try again. Take my word, after potty training three children I came to the conclusion that they would eventually get trained in their own time frame. There's no rule about this.

We moved when they were 3 & 5 and sometime after that my denial finally turned into a complete nervous breakdown and I was in therapy for about a year, and put on anti-depressants. I have never been able to get off of them because of the mood swings. But somehow with God's help I'm sure, I was able to stay home with the boys when they were babies and tend to their needs so as not to leave scars on them because of the loss of their half-sister. They grew up with her memory, as I've always kept it alive.

My two sons are now 32 & 34 and I'm proud to say they grew up to be mature and responsible young men. We are very proud of both of them!!! (and who really cares now exactly when they got potty trained - really???!!!) I will say that from what I heard way back then that boys were harder to train. Also, from my own experience, warm weather is the best time to train because you don't have to fool with as many clothes.
So you might end up waiting until spring.

I trust this helps!

Sue

Debbie - posted on 01/06/2010

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sure put training pants on her and when she has to go she will either use the potty or go in her pants if she goes in her pants let her stay in it a while she wont like it much and then have second thoughts about potty training.

[deleted account]

Quoting Diane:

I have three grown children. I never used a potty seat. I never forced the issue. When they were ready, they went in the toilet. Don't fret. Did you ever hear of a grown up not potty trained? it happens when they aRE READY. DON'T FORCE OR MAKE IT AN ISSUE OR IT WILL BECOME ONE.



I am an older mom.  I have kids from 30 down to my youngest who  is 8 plus a couple of grandkids.....I frankly did NOT potty train them at all.  I would let them try when THEY asked and kept them in diapers until they were dry ALL NIGHT...EVERY NIGHT for a week or so.  Then we switched to training pants...the pull ups are okay to. Used those with the younger ones.  With out fail every one of the 7 just naturally self-trained right around their 3rd birthday......my grandchildren have been not-trained this way too.....I figure the little ones have so little say about so many things.  the least we can do as parents are let them learn to manage their body functions at their own pace. :)

Pietra - posted on 01/01/2010

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i have 4 little children they all potty trained at the age of 3 or 4 and they all do it in there own time give it time your child will too xxx

hope u found it usefull

Alicia - posted on 12/28/2009

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try giving her a ward for everytimesshe does use the potty like a favorite cartoon that she likes to watch or even a minute in ajar that it may add up to a bigger prize like a trip to tne movies or even maybe even buying a toy that she might like toplay with

Terea - posted on 12/27/2009

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There are many options that you can try. I would take her to a department store and let HER choose underwear that she likes, that will get her to want to wear them. Second, everytime you use the toilet, take her with you so and try and make her sit on her potty (my mom potty trained me like that, with my son, ditto!). Lastly, when she used the toilet it, give her a small reward or create a potty song that praises her accomplishment.

Andrea - posted on 12/27/2009

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My son was having trouble with being consistent until we put up a poster in the bathroom. Every time he went #1 he got one sticker to put on it, #2, 2 stickers. Now he doesn't even ask for them he just goes.

Angela - posted on 12/27/2009

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I tried the cool alert training pull-ups... My boy notices it when he goes in it. That's a good start. Now he wants to use the potty.

Elaine - posted on 12/27/2009

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Give her time. My 2 year old doesn't want anything to do with potty training either. When she shows interest, that is when you start it. If you force it, she will resist it more. What I am doing is having her use her potty as a chair, play with it, etc. I'm letting her get use to it. That way when it is time to start, she will stay on the potty longer. The problem with diapers is they don't allow kids to feel when they are completely wet. I have underwear that is thick for her to use. I'm hoping that will help. I'm waiting for when she shows some interest before we start. I hope it starts soon. :)

Ami - posted on 12/27/2009

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Have you tried Bribery? I know maybe a lot of moms might think OMG, but try stickers or tell her if she goes in the potty all day then she can do something she LOVES to do. That she doesn't get to do often. My daughter potty trained well with a sticker chart and I started with...if you can go in the potty all day, you get to do this....then after awhile if you can go all week...you can do that. and so forth, Maybe she could teach a baby doll how to go in the potty like a big girl....I don't think it's much of a rush yet, though. she still is little and just might not know that it's time to go...until it's too late. Giving her a goal to look forward to might give her insentive too. Like...When you go to pre-school you have to use the potty like a big girl, because big girls go on the potty. Hope some of my suggestions help you.

Laura - posted on 12/27/2009

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the doc is right, don't pressure him. I am home a lot and what I did is create a potty chart. let him color it and let him know what it is for or just post one instead of coloring, next to the potty. Buy stickers and show him every time he goes potty/tells you he has to go etc., let him put a sticker on it. Tell him he can't have a sticker unless he goes potty. Or try hershey kisses, tell him every time he sucessfully goes potty he will get a candy kiss. This worked for me. Both stickers and kisses. You need something he really likes to entice him to go. And this past month my 2 1/2 yr old was completely potty trained, no more diapers. We are small business owners and its togh this time of year, so we really didn't have the money to buy diapers so we didn't, cleaned up some messes along the way, gave out kisses and stickers and now the baby is trained completely! Also try putting underwear on and if he wets them leave them on for a little while until he really start to holler about being wet. Just keep putting underwear on and he will get it after a while. Hope these ideas help! good Luck.

Sandra - posted on 12/26/2009

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Take a break from it for a little while. She just might not be quite ready yet. Give it up for 3 to 4 weeks and then try again and make it very exciting. Do a sticker chart with her favorite things a sticker for every time there is success.It is a scary thing for her to give up the security of the diapers.If you try when they are not ready you are going to frustrate you and her. All kids are different and will train at different time frames. The peds I go to said not to be worried until well into the third year.Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 12/26/2009

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i thought that my son would never potty train. i got to the point of forcing him to sit in the potty, whether he liked it or not! needless to say...that didnt work. when i finally stoped trying (literally within a few days of my last attemp) he said mommy i need to go on the potty! we ran in there and he went! everyone says that your child will let you know...and he did!

Sara - posted on 12/26/2009

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I found that positive rewards and modeling worked great. We had a potty chart and when stickers got filled in there was TV or a stuffed animal as a reward. The child can see their progress toward earning something they want, and when they see you "do it" they want to do what you're doing. Make it a fun thing for you "girls" to do and when she's ready, she'll do it too!

Kristen - posted on 12/25/2009

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My son is nearly 3 1/2 and we have tried so hard to potty train him. Just recently we set an egg timer to go off ever 45 min. and when it does we say "it's time to go potty" and we have him sit down and give him 1 gummy bear when he goes. We have only done that for about a week and he hasn't wore a diaper since. i hope this helps. Remember every child is different.

Keisha - posted on 12/25/2009

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sweetie you have to be patient with the baby. If its s boy get you some fruitloops,any round cereal with holes,put them in the toilet and tell him to aim at the cereal . if its a girl Lord help you. take her to the bathroom with you sit her on her potty give her something she likes to do and you sit there with her. and tell her she has to do what mommy does. it works trust me it just takes time.

April - posted on 12/24/2009

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My son is 13 and I now have a one year old. My son didn't potty train till he was almost five. I was freaking out. The doctors said when he is ready, he will do it. Of course I kept showing him and trying and getting frustrated. Low and behold, one day, he just started going. Every child is ready at a different time. I personally don't believe you should push a child or worry if they don't do something at the "average age". I suggest just being patient. Pull ups can be a discouragement because they aren't uncomfortable like underwear when they are wet, but the mess for mom isn't really great either. I would talk to your doctor if you have any physical concerns, otherwise, she will probably let you know.

Janet - posted on 12/24/2009

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Try not to worry so much about it...my son refused to use the toilette until he was 3.5 years old, and I believe it only happened that 'soon' because he was to start swimming lessons, and I told him he wouldn't be able to go into the pool if he was not using the toilette. I never really stressed about it...I knew it would happen eventually!

Miranda - posted on 12/23/2009

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My son is 3 and i didnt think he was ever going to be potty trained, he would sometimes go when me or daddy would go but never by hisself. So whenever i was home i would put underwear on him and every 15 to 30 mins i would take him in there and tell im to go on his potty. I also make a sticker bored so whenever he went poopoo or peepee and washed his hands we would put a sticker. HE LOVE IT. He is potty trained now but still to this day he still wants to put stickers

Rabia - posted on 12/23/2009

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My son only started potty training at 2yrs and 8 months it worked. I did however try him earlier to no success ,boys a r just later when it come to training

Jessica - posted on 12/23/2009

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im mom of a 8yr old and 1 almost 2yr old.. i would use dum dum suckers. i would go potty and then get the dum dum sucker.. adventually he caught on to this if i go potty i can get a sucker too.... suckers only for potty use only .. not to just snack on lol

Kirsty - posted on 12/23/2009

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when my son turned 2 i thought it was about time he was out of nappys 4 a month after that it was hell till he was dry this lasted a month then went back to wetting himself decided to wait till he was ready then 3 months later he started saying i need toilet and was dry since also my son was scared of potty was much happier on toilet

Tally - posted on 12/23/2009

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Please don't feel bad. I have 5 children and non of them trained before 3 years of age. It's better not to get stressed over it and enjoy this precious time together focusing on other things. One thing I did do was read the potty book quite a bit. Just to arouse interest. But .. like I said. It's not worth getting stressed over.

Jozzy - posted on 12/23/2009

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she is not ready. Believe me, when she is ready you will know. Whatever you do, don't push it and don't punish her for not doing it. This will only cause trauma for her. Give her some more time. Some take longer than others. She has her own personality. After time, she will see be it at daycare or at preschool that others are doing it and will start to be ready at that point. Just be patient and understanding though. That is by far the best you can do. :-)

Diane - posted on 12/22/2009

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I have three grown children. I never used a potty seat. I never forced the issue. When they were ready, they went in the toilet. Don't fret. Did you ever hear of a grown up not potty trained? it happens when they aRE READY. DON'T FORCE OR MAKE IT AN ISSUE OR IT WILL BECOME ONE.

CHERIE - posted on 12/22/2009

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She will also be stubbon about not soiling her Big girl panties, my baby girl is 28 now with 2 girls,I replied to a post below from Kim V. , or above where ever this lands

CHERIE - posted on 12/22/2009

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I am a Mother of three Adult Children 1 girl 2 boy's, and 3 Grand children 2 girls 1 boy. This trick for both boys and girls worked the best for all.They Love their new big girl panties! when my daughter was potty training they didnt have the desined undies, only, plain white kinda quilted for absortion, but they were still her big girl panties. They do allow the child to learn, that they have been soiled by the feeling of pee and such. As well as the feeling in the bladder and other places that come with this bodily function. Pull ups@ night as well as nightlites in the hall from their room to the toilet, are perfect as they get to know the function of their bodies . Eventually no reminders, and no wake ing up to take her. Its a natural function that they have to Learn, and by feeling this they learn. For my boys again, big boy undies,and for both, in the day I would place them toward the back of the toilet no mess gotta teach the boys to hold "it" down while peeing though, keep toilet paper on the back of tank for safty in reach and teach your boys to dab not sling.. saves a lot of cleaning the walls this position is safe and helps themlearn to wipe correctly.Girls only need be told not back to front though for bladder health issues. Good luck we are getting the big boy undies for our 3 yearold granson for Christmas, it time! he knows. Look when they bring you a diaper and say I need peed or pooped, Its time, Although the age does vary for each child theres no harm in Starting ti teach them early sesame steet has an Elmo video to help with this issue now. If only the technology was availabe when mine were babies. Ah. but my primitive way worked mighty great, Good luck and GOD Bless!

CHERIE - posted on 12/22/2009

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Quoting Kim:

Maybe she's not ready....I know you probably are..........Did you try taking her to the store and buying big girl undies...????
I know some mom's use m & m's when they use the potty...???
My girls were potty trained in a week, using real undies, had a few accidents but they get it when they actually feel wet, and they don't like it...good luck,hang in there it will happen


 

Kim - posted on 12/22/2009

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it's easier with a real potty and a potty seat then the training potties, since they don't have to transition to the real potty at all

Christina - posted on 12/21/2009

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Thank everyone so much you gave me some ideas i will definatly try hope they work like they did for you. thanks very much

Sonya - posted on 12/21/2009

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Get a doll that pee's on the potty, party hats and blowers ect. When the doll pee's on the potty you have a party put on the hats and blow the blowers ect. Do the same when your daughter does, i know this sounds funny but it workrd for me and a few other mums i know. Good luck.

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