My daughter won't sleep unless touching me..

Jennifer - posted on 11/06/2008 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My son was an indep. sleeper at 4 mo. he sleep 14 hours straight through the night in his own bed and in his own room... my daughter is a different story.. not sure it is such a great habit to get into - but it allows me to get some rest.. I guess in a lot of other societies it is perfectly acceptable. jenn

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Caroline - posted on 11/21/2008

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There are upsides and less convenient parts. I have three children, all have slept with me from the first. The upsides- they never fuss about going to bed, it is almost always a completely stress free time. They cry less than children who are alone, I think that makes them grow with less "stress" hormones and makes them calmer and healthier. I read in bed and when they are young they nurse while I read then fall asleep. Not always, but they never want to "get up" as I am there in bed, so that is where they want to be too. They can nurse while you sleep. Worth repeating..THEY CAN NURSE WHILE YOU SLEEP. This is learned very quickly, the benefits should be self explanatory. If they are still there when they are able to talk, they often have their best questions and ideas before they fall asleep. You will get the privledge of hearing them and answering those important life questions. Sets up a life habit to talk to you about things that pop into their minds..though when they are teen girls and want to talk at 2am, you may wish they didn't trust you so much. Sex, it's not just for bedrooms. Downsides...you will have to at least lie down with them when they are older, and often I fall asleep and never get back up. Dads are less enthusiastic. Keep in mind you only get them for about 18 years, make the most of it, and enjoy the time you get with them each day.

Mary - posted on 11/06/2008

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Our first is 2 months old and we had the same issue. He can't sleep without one of us right there. We decided not to stress about it and instead, embrace it. We love having him in bed with us, and everybody sleeps better! Don't worry about it being 'habit' forming, they move to their own bed eventually. You should read Nighttime Parenting by William Sears, it will reassure that it's normal and okay. It helped me a lot.

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Ticia - posted on 03/02/2011

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i so enjoy it.. an bria my daughter is so sweet the way she rubs my arm an up my sleeve also or it'll be her little foot finding my leg when she's asleep..i so know i will hate when she goes to her room totally but if she wants i will encourage it..even though i'll so miss her being by me through the nite an yes we talk about alot at nite ..so many good conversations about the day an school , her friends, an so many other things an i love very moment of it an will always reasure it cause i know it will come to an end an she'll be little ms. independent an all on her own an won't need me as much as i'll need her around..an i breastfeed bria w/no bottle at all just from me an she'd go to sleep an i use to read alot more of my books then now i read more of hers while were in bed but i don't mind it all ..she loves books just like i do which im glad..she'll grab a stack of books an wanna sit a me read with her more then tv many of times..which i hope stays that way...you an your family take care an thanks for your replie

Ticia - posted on 11/16/2010

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my little 4yr old girl is the same way she has to be touching me in some way to go to sleep a foot her hand there's always gotta be something on me to get her to sleep ..it did bother me just a bit ..but i know that it's not gonna last forever an i enjoy the way she loves to cuddle up with me an still needs me st sleep..because that day will come where your not so needed an not so cool ya know what i mean!! an i just enjoy it i know when she's ready she'll go in her room all on her own that's the way she is...she does things at her own pace an i let her cuz it is easier then trying to force her to do something before she's ready to do it!! not sure if that is what you want to hear but that is just how i feel about it...good luck an have fun with her always!!!!

Emily - posted on 05/12/2009

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We've slept with all our kids at different times. Currently, our 16 month old is in a side-carred crib in our room, and our 3 and 4 year olds are in their own room. Just last weekend we left all three girls with their grandparents for one night while we celebrated our anniversary. They all slept through the night just fine, with no problems at all. Even our baby went to sleep without complaining.

The night after we got home, our 3 year old asked if she could sleep in our bed and we ended up spending the night with all three of our kids in our queen size bed with us. Sometimes it's nice to cuddle with everyone, and it doesn't last forever.

Rabaab - posted on 05/12/2009

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well my both kids sleep with me. My eldest slept with me till she was 4.. Now she sleeps in her own room.. It is not something that you need to stress about.. They move to there own bed eventually.. My daughter automatically slept in her own bed when she felt comfortable and secure to do so..

Emma - posted on 05/02/2009

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Hey I breast fed my baby without any bottles or cups till she was a year old and although I always allowed her to fall asleep at the breats she now at 18 months has a drink of cows milk from a breastflow bottle and still My daughter likes to stroke my arm and have skin to skin even if it is her hand up my sleave, but she sleeps all night! At day care she even strokes her key workers arm..it is comforting and reassuring..enjoy it while it lasts hunnie, you are her mummy and all she wants is to touch you! If you are into reading try Why love matters: how effection shapes a babies brain by Sue Gerhardt.

Dana - posted on 02/04/2009

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My daughter was like that for awhile too, and honestly, in our case, I think a lot of it was me :) Now she is still in bed with us but wants her own space. Sometimes a little too much. Last night I got up and when I came back I saw my husband scrunched on one side of the bed, my pillow half in the co sleeper and Miss Hadlee was stretched across the entire middle of our bed :)

Laura - posted on 02/04/2009

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try letting her fall asleep on you and then put her to bed with one of your t-shirts so she can smell you !!

Emily - posted on 11/23/2008

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Another great book is the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She's got some great tips for getting kids to sleep through the night whether they're sleeping next to you or not. :)

Jennifer - posted on 11/06/2008

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Mary, thanks for that -- I will read that book.. and you are right - she will not be there forever.. jenn

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