Should I be upset that my husband wants to go on vacation with his father, grandfather and brother instead of spending it with me and our 2 children ages 5 and 1?

Kelly - posted on 05/28/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Granted, I dont care that he spends time with his family, but I believe that since he does not get one day off when he works in the summer, he should want to spend it with his family. He is a seasonal worker, so in the summer he does bust his butt, however, this is at the expense of not taking one day or even hour off for 6-8 months. He works late, sometimes on the weekends and may even miss his son's preschool graduation, which I told him he wasn't going to miss. So, I do believe that when he gets the week off, which we are told every year what week it is, he should spend it with us and go with his father on a different time. Am I overreacting or worrying too much? My husband does love us and try to do things for us. But sometimes his idea of doing things for us is making money to support us. I am trying to convince him that money isnt everything and time is sometimes more valued.

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Kelly - posted on 06/05/2012

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First, I would never tell him that he cant go. Like you said, I would not want him resenting me. And no, actually I have no desire to go on a girls trip.I want to spend it with my family .I think that it is more important for him to spend the time with his children. He gets those days off and that is it over the course of 8 months. he sees his father and grandfather almost every day. We live next door to his father and he sees his grandfather because we live only a few miles from him. He goes hunting with them every deer season and turkey season which is in the winter when he is laid off, so we cant go away then either. He spends more time with them than he does with us, because the things that u do with little kids are not things that he is interested in and they are boring. he also does not have the patience if our kids whine. If I get tickets to a show he says that it is stupid to go see a show. if i say lets go to the park he says they can play in the backyard, so u have to understand our going on a trip will mean that we actually get to spend quality time as a family. I do not mean to make him sound like he doesnt love us, he does more than anything, he just thinks that we should never do anything. However, I will have to say that I asked him if he was going with his family fishing a few months ago, and he said no, that is why i planned the trip. if it weren't all planned, and we hadn't told my five year old, then I would not have cared. But, in the end, my husband realized the right thing to do, because he came home from work and said to keep going ahead with the plans, because he is going with us and wouldn't miss it for anything. I do think that also, since he is kind of a worrier, he had some reservations about him being in Canada while his wife and two small children travel to Philly without him. I guess that in the end, my husband really did prove to be a true "family man" and I love him more than anything. Thank you for your comment.

Rachael - posted on 06/04/2012

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You can be upset all you want but it won't change anything. Maybe he just needs to be with other guys on a "man trip". I know I would love to go on a "girls trip" without my husband & kids, wouldn't you? If a person doesn't take the time out to take care of their own needs they won't take care of everyone else that great. Try asking him why he really wants to go on this trip and if there is a compromise to be had. If my husband wanted to do this I would let him because I wouldn't want him resenting me because I told him he couldn't go.

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