Need help with a problem child...he's almost 5!

Anne - posted on 05/28/2012

Okay so I had some problems with some of these too. I find that when my child shouts for example, I don't shout back at him, instead, I tell him calmly this:
- I know you're angry and it's okay but no shouting. Now, I will only mind you if you use your normal voice.

It took a while but it worked.. he still shouts once in a while but is able to control it better.

Same goes for hitting.. if your child does this, just get his hand and gently tap it on your arm and say:
- gently only okay?

It may be tough to stay calm but it's essential. When you are stressed or upset with the negative behavior, it enforces it. Hope this helps!

Amanda - posted on 04/04/2012

I am currently having the same problems...I am reading "The Strong Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson and it has a lot of good points. Timeout works best for us-we do a minute for every year.

Laura - posted on 02/28/2012

I have 5 y.o. twin boys (and 7 y.o. boy) and know EXACTLY what you are talking about! Try reading How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk (Faber and Mazlish). It will give you a different view of how to respond to your child, reinforce the positive behaviour. Using some of the ideas has really improved things in our house.

Kizzy - posted on 01/03/2012

Try the book the spirited child. You may have a strong willed child and this is a good book to teach some skill to modify the behavior.
You child has probably been doing this for a while and you should be using some basic behavior modification. Reward you child for positive behavior and extinguish bad behavior. Do not tolerate poor language. He is old enough for a 4-5 minute time out. And to apologize for behavior. He is going to fight you because he has done it for so long, but it is worth fight him on. It is going to be worse once school starts. He will either respect the teacher and leave you extremely frustrated or he is going disrespect you both and the problem will be compounded

Jacqueline - posted on 12/29/2011

My little girl is almost 5 as well. At 2 1/2 I noticed a defiant nature and a tendency to hit. She wouldn't respond to time out, removal of toys, or any punishment. I felt like I was always stressed out and losing it. I finally took her to see a doctor and discovered she has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Through some therapy she has learned to control her emotions and anxieties, that I didn't know even existed and I have learned a great set of skills to help cope with her strong personality. If your little man is like her, then you know that he will be a very decisive adult and a leader!!! I hope that you will consider looking to some training with a local doctor who can give you all the tricks we need to keep our sanity and help them become calm and collected munchkins!

Julie - posted on 12/02/2011

Hi we have a big box in our living room any time our little girl gets out of control with her attitude we take a toy from her it goes in the box and she has to earn it back, we went one week when the box was over flowing she was gutted that all her favourite toys were in there and didn't have much to play with she soon learned her lesson we only have to use the box on rare occassions. It worked for us!

Terina - posted on 11/19/2011

hi , im no expert on child behavoir but i do know where you are coming from i also have a 4and half year old who also ignores, hes not a bad kid infact hes normally petty good which is why i get so stressed when he goes through these phases as i know he isnt always like that, someone told me its because they comply all day at school as they have no choice but when they get home to parents they can let loose, with my son i personally believ this and the fact that hes good for so long then has to let off steam at somepoint almost like he held it in ,im guilty of having very little patience when he is like this as my 21 month old wants to copy what hes doing so its alost like i have 2x over. im not giving advice just letting u know i understand you and its so frustrating , i really dont know the answer i often ask myself the same thing about the back chatting