Developmental Delays? Very concerned...feel guilty

ME - posted on 06/19/2009

...the other thing I've noticed with Miles is that he eats better if I put food on a spoon, and let him put it in his mouth...He gets very excited when he makes it, and claps for himself, and wants more! It was a wonderful discovery for me, because he ate great from 6-11 months and then stopped eating almost entirely! Also...if they go through stages where they eat less or only certain foods, they could be teething. Miles has 11 teeth, and we are old hands at recognizing the signs of new chompers!

ME - posted on 06/19/2009

My sixteen month old son only says a couple of words, and I have to translate them to other people. I read several books to him each day, and I know he knows the meaning of lots of words (he can point out all the parts of his body, and signs a little bit), but it's like a switch for speech hasn't been turned on yet. If your pediatrician isn't concerned, I wouldn't be either. All babies develop differently, and I've also heard that boys speak later than girls, and also don't hear as well...maybe that's the only explanation! I'm sure that you are a wonderful mom!

Geneva - posted on 06/19/2009

I think they say most kids that age should be walking by 18 months, but also remember that most kids reach milestones according to what their due date would have been, not necessarily when they were born (I'm assuming since they are twins, they were born a little early?). Also, my son is the same age & most of the "words" he says I doubt if anyone other than my husband or myself would understand. you could also try teaching them a few sign language words - my guess is that by doing that, you will be able to see how much they do understand & will help cut down their frustration level. I also agree with one of the other posters....schedule & routine are one of the best things you can do to help them. Toddlers really need that structure. It can take a week or 2 to get them on board with it, but once you do, the whole family will be happier!

Gail - posted on 06/19/2009

you've nothing to feel guilty about, what you are doing is amazing, its hard work bringing up one 16 month old never mind 2!!
look, all children develop at different ages, all 3 of mine have, so don't worry, maybe they aren't as bothered about moving around and talking yet as they have each other, i've heard twins do have their own language, to speak to each other.
girls also develop quicker than boys, also the worst thing you can do is compare to other children, i did that with my first born son, i thought he was delayed as my friends children were more forward than he was, but hes doing really well, so all that worry was for nothing.
if they are babbling then i wouldnt worry, they will start talking soon, and then you'll be wishing they'd shut up lol my eldest daughter was really advanced and could count at 13 months old, whereas my youngest daughter is not saying as many words, summer could say a sentence at this age whereas lexi babbles and says the odd word.
one thing i picked up on, was you mentioned naps, and that they are fighting them and wont take an afternoon nap, id say follow what they want, put them for a nap when they are tired, their naps will change over time, once i stopped putting lexi down for an afternoon nap she started sleeping all night for 12 hours!, she gets tired mid morning, i can see the signs she wants her bed, she has up to 2 hours sleep then, and later in the afternoon i sit her in her buggy and let her have a rest for half an hour with her doggy teddy, shes not sleeping but she just gets that reserve till bedtime and it keeps her going, maybe try that or something similar it may help.
feeding, ive had 2 fussy eaters, dale was the worst, i learnt from him not to persist if they dont want it, you only make it worse, he grew out of it by the time he started school and was watching other kids eat. summer wasnt bad until she got to toddler age, but is no way as bad as dale was, she will try new foods, with lexi she wouldnt take from the spoon so i gave her chopped up and finger foods and she eats her dinner herself, she loves it, she'll learn how to use a spoon when shes ready, as long as shes eating im not worried! if they dont eat then they're probably not hungry or want to do it themselves, dont worry about them not eating alot, they'll eat what they need.
i think you're drained as you're worrying too much, i guess you're a first time mum and you've double the worry with having twins, but you've 2 gorgeous little boys, enjoy them and it will all come right in the end, trust me, you would not believe the difference in my 14 year old boy, i worried about him till he was 10 years old, thats too much time to miss out on worrying, relax about it, they will do it all in their own time.
take care xxx

Melony - posted on 06/17/2009

Hay hun, I wouldnt be worrying as yet, some say that boys tend to be a bit lazyer than girls. And my pede todl me that you should never compare your kids to other peoples kids. All kids develop at their own pace. I think you boy are perfectly fine and maybe just a tad lazy. You should just enjoy them being this small, it passes so quicklly. I you are really worried then have them checked out by your pede hun. Rather safe than sorry if you mommy instincts are telling you something is up!! Good luck hun. My little girl is 4 days older than you boys and All I'm gonna say is WHEW LOL LOL she keeps me sooooooo busy and of late also just wanne be in my arms, think her seperation anxiety is only kicking in now LOL.Once again...Good luck!

Tanya - posted on 06/16/2009

You are NOT a rotten mother. In fact, you are amazing because you are parenting twins! It sounds as though you are working very hard as a mom and you should be proud of this.
Every child does things at his or her own pace. My little girl was born on the same day as your boys and she isn't walking yet either. She has a couple of words, but A LOT of what she "says" is just baby babble. As for your boys, do they tell you that they want something by pointing to it? Do they shake their heads when they mean "yes" or "no"? Do they point to, pat or try to pick up pictures in a book? All of these are things to look for at this age with regards to communication; it is not all about "talking". If they are not doing any of these things, then perhaps a speech assessment would be a good idea.
Hang in there!
Tanya

Jennifer - posted on 06/16/2009

most important thing to think about is what do they understand. not what can they say. persitance pays off. If you keep the boys on a schedule and don't give in... they will do things you want them to do including sleep!!! I don't know if you let them sleep together. but if you do... separate them. maybe even put them in different rooms or let them sleep at different times during nap time. If they do sleep apart you could try letting them sleep together maybe they are missing eachother.... but I would recommend them sleeping by themselves.

All kids learn at a different pace. and talking comes on it's own. If you are really concerned and feel they have a disability with speech contact a Birth to 3 rep. You should be able to find one online that is in your area. they will come to your house and evaluate each of them and if they have a delay they will help...

good luck! raising your kids is hard but you don't have to worry about their development. It will come and when they do start talking you will be asking them to be quiet. HA HA

Check out Birth to 3 .... Good luck!

Kimberly - posted on 06/16/2009

first of all, you have nothing to feel guilty about. i'm sure it's frustrating for you as a mother who wants to give them all that you can. sometimes, children have delays, and it's no one's fault. it's God's way of teaching you. your boys are babbling so that's a start. do they socialize with other children? if you're really concerned there are a whole host of organizations out there that help children with devolpmental delays. for a while, i thought my little girl was deaf, so we were going through the babynet program. keep faith and be strong!

Tina - posted on 06/16/2009

I wouldn't worry too much.Sure you would like them to talk but generally boys are a little slower when it comes to talking.

If you are truly concerned and nothing has changed by their 18 months check-up- appointment with the pedi I would ask him/her.

How early were they born?