my 3 year old wants to argue!

Charisma - posted on 08/26/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom of one 3 1/2 year old daughter. Since it's just her and me, we're experiencing the "we must be on equal levels" syndrome. Defiance, and arguing with me on disciplinary issues have become quite troublesome in the past few months. Please send any advice or positive approaches to curb this behavior.

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Monica - posted on 10/09/2011

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It must be the age, my 3 1/2 year old daughter is the same way. My family laughs at us because my daughter and i will sit there and argue with each other before i finally get upset and yell at her to where she either crys because i've hurt her feelings or she rolls her eyes and stomps off mad at me. I've tried time out, light spankings (nothing hard, usually a pat on the butt or hand), and i've even tried just being patient and squatting down to her level, looking her in the eyes and explaining to her that i need her to listen to me when i talk to her and to do what i tell her to do, the entire time she will be staring at me quiet as a mouse and i'm thinking in my head "wow, this is going good, i'm really getting thru to her", then when i'm done she says "BUT MOM" and she procedes to tell me why she wants to do things her way. My daughter is not a bad child, she doesnt throw tantrums, but she's just very strong minded. I'm hoping it's a stage and that she'll grow out of it instead of it just getting worse. I think we just have to keep letting them know that it's not okay and that there are consequences, that way they dont think we condone it or gonna let them get away with it.

Courtney - posted on 10/05/2011

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I know what your going through. My 3 1/2 is the same way. we've been doing the penny method. She has a penny jar and when she's good and does like she's suppose to she gets a penny. If she misbehaves she has to give back a penny, Then if she's good all wekk she gets a special prize at the end of the week. for my daughter it's iceies. We still have some trouble sometimes but she's learning there are consequences for her actions.

Denise - posted on 09/06/2011

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What have you been doing so far to stop the behavior? It does not matter what age your child is, you are never on "equal levels". I know how it is to be a single mother I have felt the guilt of putting my daughter in a single parent home and I have wanted to compensate for this in many ways. it is VERY IMPORTANT to stick to your guns. If you say no its no regardless of how much she argues and demands. If she sees that her defiance get her what she wants she will continue to push against you. Let her see consequences of her actions. Have her spend some time in her room to cool off, this will also give you time to cool off. Praise her when she acts in an appropriate manner. Since this has been going on for such a long time it will be a hard road to take but it will benefit her and you in the end. there will be a lot of tears both from her and you, but as long as you are convinced that what you are doing is for her good do not allow the tears and defiance to break you. It will not be easy but all is not lost.

Susan - posted on 09/01/2011

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Hi......I wish i could help.I have a 9yr old daughter and she was and still is at times my angel.dicepline with her was by the book.the Naughty step worked.taking toys away worked.But all round she was no trouble....i know i've got it all to come with the teenage yrs right...lol......Now my son is 3.5 yrs and i just don't know what to do with him.He just laughs at me when i tell him off.He wants everything there and then and will just go on and on and on till he gets it......so i can totally understand where ur coming from but sorry i can't help......but it must be nice to know ur not the only one....lol...xx

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