please help my son is almost out of control

Chelsea - posted on 02/19/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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hi my daughter was diagnosed adhd/odd and mild autism so she is prone to meltdowns and agression my problem is my sonewho will be 4 in a couple of weeks is now turning into a highly agressive almost uncontrollable child and i dnt know wat to do doi have him assessed for the adhd/odd part or hope the behaviour runs its corse in case its a stage nothing i do works time outs loss of privilages talking to him a smack on the butt yelling has all done nothing reward charts were useless the behavioural thearpist we seehasnt made any progress please help

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Chelsea - posted on 04/25/2012

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thanks lisa i understand what you mean by labels but in my daughters case i believe it we have been to every profeesional we can think of in the last 3years she does have sensory issues we have been to 3 paediatricians a child phycologist we have a behavioral thearapist thatworks with both the kids and before she started kindy she had a one on one support person fortwo years at daycare cos she was out of control up there but her school now won't bring in a teachers aid for her because theres not enough to justify funding apparently and we have also done family thearapy for eight monthsand were told we were doingthe right things i don't know what to think my sons teachers arent worried about his behavour there its just when hes home mostly with his sister but thank you for responding to my question

Lisa - posted on 04/23/2012

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There could also be some sensory disorders going on for both of them. I would suggest requesting an indepent consult for your daughter through her school district. By federal law, if you put the request in writing , the school has 30 days to reply and get the testing set up. Your district should also have an early intervention program. You can request they test your son as well to see if he qualifies for services before he is in school.

I caution to letting anyone label your child ODD. It is a doctor's way of saying a child isnt' being parented correctly at home. No I am not making this up. Under 90% of the medical websites, you will find the "cure" for ODD is consistant parenting. I am not saying that you are a bad parent and doing something wrong. As someone who works in a school district and knows the special education laws fairly well, ODD is a way of labeling a child who a school feels has a parent who is not doing all that they can to help their child. The ODD label sticks and when others over the years see it, they tend to think, that a parent has no clue and they don't work with the parent. This is just a warning, nothing more.

I wish you the best of luck. If you need more help or ideas, please feel free to message me. I come from a family of special education professionals and know the ins and outs of what schools do to make thier lives easier and cheaper.

I do wish you the best of luck.

Jane - posted on 04/21/2012

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My son has began having worse and worse tantrums. He will be kicking and crying, all the while he is saying, "Mom, I can't calm down!". I have started to hold him, even though he doesnt like it at first. After about 5 mins, he lets me hug him, and I just rub his back. I wait about 10 mins, then talk to him about what got him so upset. This has been working for about 2 weeks, just holding him, then hugging him till he is quiet. My husband says I am "babying" him, but I think it's a better option than him tearing the house apart and screaming for an hour. Maybe find another therapist if you feel they arent helping. Good luck, I know how awful it can be to see them so upset and there is nothing you can think of to do!

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2012

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Did you consider that he may be acting out like his sister for attention. If he is seeing the attention she gets when she has a meltdown or other issue, maybe he is thinking he will get the same attention if he acts just like her.

I have worked with thousands of children and many sibling in that number and it is not uncommon for a child with a sibling with numerous to act out what they see, to get attention that the sibling gets.

I am not saying that you favor one child over the other but to your son it may seem that way.

It could also be something in his diet and your daughter's cause the behaviors. Just something to think about. Lots of artificial ingredients cause all sorts of issues for children and when they are removed from the diet for a prolonged period, the behaviors diminish and become manageable.

I wish I had a great answer for you to help but other than saying be consistant and always follow through with what you say, I don't know what to tell you.

My 4 year old can be a challenge at times but 99% of the time she is great.

Good luck.

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