14 month old won't sleep in his crib.

Shanah Cheyenne - posted on 04/26/2010

I hadn't read all the comments until now. i see others suggested the same book. Go get it!! Lol! Good luck!

Shanah Cheyenne - posted on 04/26/2010

I have too much info to put here. lol. i just read a book that has helped me tremendously. its called "the no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley. i wanted to get my son sleeping better before our daughter arrives next month. having two little ones is going to be a challenge and i need to nip some things in the bud before little emily is born. her suggestions are fantastic and you never have to let your little one cry or feel like a bad mom. dr sears, the renown pediatrician, does the forward for this book and says he reccommend it to his patients. i think that is great!

Kimberly - posted on 04/25/2010

Letting them cry it out is hard (on you) but if you stick with it it WILL get easier. It was WAY WORSE for my son if I went in to comfort him every few minutes or whatever. I put him in his crib, tell him I love him and say goodnight. I walk out and I don't go back in. He cried in the beginning, now he goes to bed without a peep! It did take a few weeks of tears but now it's beautiful. We have our bedtime routine, dinner, bath, snuggle and bed. (he won't listen to a story, he just wants to play so we're waiting on that one). Sometimes when we snuggle before bed he picks his head up and points to his crib. I lay him down and he's fine! Just keep with it.

Melanii - posted on 04/24/2010

We've abandoned the cot too, even though it is in our room he just wants to be close to Mum.
We now have a mattress on the floor in his room, we both settle in there at night, and because he is free to move around as much as he wants he's asleep within 15 minutes! I can then leave him to himself, and just go in if he cries for me. We've only been doing this for a couple of weeks, so we're not completely there yet, but it's a huge improvement.
My husband in finally getting some sleep, and we're getting back to having our bed to ourselves.
Good luck - the No Cry Sleep solution book is by Elizabeth Pantley, if you're interested, lots of good ideas.

Amanda - posted on 04/24/2010

I tried an experiment when my son would scream and cry "mama" when I put him in his crib. I turned off the lights, put him in his crib, and sat on the floor by his bed. I stroked his back through the rails and whispered "shhhh". Boy did this NOT help! He screamed and pouted and shook the crib-- but here's the kicker-- he acted like I wasn't even there! It was at that moment I realized, he was just trying to gain control. He knew if he cried "mama" I would come in his room. Since I was already there, he just cried to try and get his way (wanted to be up or in my bed.) It really put into perspective that although we constantly want our child to be happy and never afraid, lonely, sad, worried or in pain, often times they are fine and just testing the limits with us. We have to remember our kids are SMART and they are already learning how to get what they want. Needless to say, a few nights of letting him cry it out, it dwindled off and now he goes to bed without a fuss. I suggest you try "the experiment". It actually relieves a lot of stress knowing they're ok and that you're not an evil mama!

Hella - posted on 04/23/2010

Don't let him cry out! Maybe something really bothering him. He needs your comfort. If he was fell asleep before during nursing, and no he is not, then maybe he is teething. It can really hurt them, or maybe he is not sure about something, and he is afraid. If you keep him crying it's not really help I guess if it takes an hour, and I bet he wakes up crying too. I recommend to read the No cry sleep solution. I forgot the writer's name, but she really explains it why they can't sleep, and how can you help them. It helped for me. My 14 month old is still nursing, and I had the hardest time to make him sleep, but after I understood why he is crying, or not sleeping, things get better, and now he takes two naps a day, without crying, and have no problem going to bed at night . Try that, you will feel better too. Good luck. :) But please don't let him cry out. you don't feel right about it, so probably it is not right to your son. :)

Amylia - posted on 04/23/2010

Ceegan (14 months old) used to fall asleep and then we would put him in his crib, but now he wakes up screaming throughout the night so we have almost given up :(

Emma - posted on 04/23/2010

My little one is the same, he goes to sleep at 7pm in his cot, but wakes up at 2am wanting milk and wont go back into his bed. It is not really bothering me and they will eventually grow out of it. I have yet to hear about a teenager sleeping with their parents!
I am sure once they start talking and understanding more it will stop. (Or this it what I am hoping for!)

Bess - posted on 04/23/2010

I do the exact same thing..nursing to sleep at night...we have to somewhat pin him down to get him to settle down to sleep at night or at least cuddle with him til he falls asleep.. same with naps..I have to lay there with him til he falls asleep and sometimes I need the extra shut-eye too..we can't just set him in the crib and walk away *sigh*..he'd just play for a few minutes then start crying standing up in the crib..I love having him in bed with us, but w/Baby #2 on the way..I know something has to change..hubby can't take the crying bc he has to work early in the am...our house is small so the fastest, easiest way for all of us to get some sleep is to nurse him to sleep and be in our bed until both hubby and I have enough time/patience to work on getting him used to his own space..btw, Baby #2 probably ( I say probably bc I was adament that our first-born wasn't going to be in bed with us)won't be sleeping IN bed with us..we'll probably use a co-sleeper of some sort...bed's not big enough for 2 babies, 2 dogs and US!!

Brenda - posted on 04/22/2010

I am nearly in the same boat, although I don't bring her into our bed at night anymore. She will absolutely not nap by herself, has to be attached to me the entire time. I can't let her cry it out much longer than 15-20 minutes and honestly, I don't really want to. MY tolerance is too low! My older two went through this, just hang in there. No one goes to college still sleeping in mom and dad's bed...

Kelina - posted on 04/22/2010

One other thing you could try is put her back into her bed only once. THis is how i weaned Jonathon back into his bassinet when he was really little. Put her back to bed once and let her sleep for a bit, then bring her into your bed. A few nights later put her back to bed twice, and slowly she'll begin to sleep longer. Good luck!

Sinead - posted on 04/22/2010

i have the exact same problem. i have some time off work coming up so i'm hoping i won't be as tired trying to train her to sleep in her cot on her own. I think now she wakes up just to come into bed with me and its such a bad habit i got her into

Jodie - posted on 04/22/2010

i also have a 14 month old who is very unsettled at night, im so exhausted i know im making matters worse by putting her into bed with me. i tried leaving her 2 cry in her cot and kept laying her down, but no exaggeration she cried for well over 2 hours. Im going to try these tip with the reading i think. I hate the feeling of my baby girl being upset 4 so long which doesnt help

Kelina - posted on 04/21/2010

you could try a compromise on the crying. It takes a few days but it worked realy well with my son. WE would let him cry for five minutes and then go back in, lay him down, tell him we loved him and say goodnight and walk out of the room. And repeat this every five mintues or so. Every night we stretched it a little longer so the second night it was seven minutes and the thrid night eight, etc. I also recommend doing the same thing with his nap. It's exhausting for a little while until he gets used to it but he'll settle down soon. Whatever you pick though, stick with it, don't change it all the time or he will get confused whatever you pick stick with it for two weeks to a month before changing methods. And you're not a horrible mother! WEvery baby goes through this and it sucks, but you'll get through it. Good luck!

Jenny - posted on 04/18/2010

You are not a horrible mother! When we decided to start Dilana's "sleep training" we let her cry for 45 minutes .. that was a compromised time between my husband and me. It took a few nights but by the end of the second week she would be fine. Do you have a bed time routine? My husband and I each read Dilana a story and then I sing her a song, put her in the crib and turn on her music maker. Some nights we'll hear her talking to her stuffed animal but she doesn't cry. In the beginning it was 45 min of crying then down to 30, etc. When I go to bed I put a couple books in the crib with her so when she wakes in the morning she can look at those before getting up. This has helped the last couple of mornings. I hear her awake but she doesn't cry out for me.
I do know some parents who have let their child cry as long as two hours. At one of my new parent groups it was stressed that while each baby has his/her own developmental schedule the parents also have different tolerances. SO ... what works for one set of parents may not work for another. That said, if you can handle long bouts of crying him cry it out. Sounds to me you're doing everything to let him know you are there and he is safe. Good luck.