Discipline and Attachment Parenting

Valerie - posted on 01/07/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am in the Attachment Style Parenting frame of mind and wanted to see what other Attatchment Style parents and those who are not think is a good time to start implementing discipline and what kind of discipline is appropriate at what age? My daughter is already starting to throw tantrums when I take a toy away or remover her from the path of danger. She will scream, fuss, cry, and sometimes pull my hair or grab at me. I didn't think they went through this until the toddler years! LOL! I have many baby books but the one I have on AP doesn't really give a good age range. HELP!

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Bethany - posted on 02/18/2010

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For pinching, I hold Charlotte's wrist and say LET GO then I would put her away from me, on the ground, or step away from her and say NO PINCH.



She can't pull my hair, because I've had my hair cut really short, for that very reason, among others.



She is particularly interested in my eyelids lately, she'll look intently at my eyes and then try to pry my eye open and grab my eyeball. It's quite funny, because she doesn't always do it, just sometimes.



Charlotte is a pretty calm kid, and takes verbal discipline pretty well, I'm a "UH UH" Mummy. I try not to say No too much. I'll say UH UH and a reason, like Hot, that's hot, or UH UH, that's not for you to touch. She gets that one alot. She knows it now and crosses her arms when I say it. It's very cool in the shops when she obeys me and people say "oh, isn't she good" and I say "that's because I'm a good Mummy" and they laugh.

Paige - posted on 01/08/2010

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Yeah with the pulling hair, Mercy doesn't do that too much but when she does I loosen her fingers and make her let go and tell her in a firm voice while holding her hands "No. That hurts, don't pull hair." At this point I'm not sure there is much else we can do.

Dawn - posted on 01/08/2010

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I just read a bit on "attachment style parenting" and in my opinion it applies greatly to an infant, which in a month or two we will not technically have and in my case and many others, have not had for a few months. The moment my infant became active, he turned into an independent toddler!! I think that beginning now, limits need to be set, they are acting out just to see what happens....a learning process. My style is mostly redirection and a firm voice, but I do sometimes tap his hand. Either way, when he does listen and does the right thing, he is rewarded with a positive response from me....this is the most effective as I can tell he really only wants me to be happy with him.

Estelle - posted on 01/08/2010

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personally i think what ever you do wont do much,my daughter has a mind of her own and i find she is very indepentend and will show me how she feels. I tackle tantrums by not reacting to her and she does calm herself down. Being naughty is hard i just keep moving her out the way and try to dristract her or say no i a very serious voice and she seems to react to that. hope this helps if not then just to know your not on your own.

Valerie - posted on 01/07/2010

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That seems to be where I am with Ella but when she shows aggression like pulling my hair or grabbing at me I'm not sure how firm I should be with her. I definatley don't think corporal punishment is appropriate. The redirection thing seems to be the best solution for now. When she's older and able to understand consequences more I can implement other techniques.

Paige - posted on 01/07/2010

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I consider myself to be an AP Mom, as for discipline when Mercedes throws a fit or screams at me for taking a toy away from her I just tell her in a firm voice "No. Don't scream at mom." and of course, don't give her the toy back. I also usually try to give her another toy to redirect her attention

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