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Finding it tough to handle two kids

Veenu - posted on 07/28/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hey friends,

I am glad to join the group of Circle of moms. Actually i have an elder son who is 9 yrs old and a daughter who is 3. So far, I never faced much problem in handling both of them. But, as my li'l one is growing up, i am facing troubles in handling both of them. The reason being that my li'l one is too small to follow various instructions. however i understand that she is too small for behaving like a grown up kid. but my 9 yr old son is arguing in most of the situations, saying , " why don't you tell her to behave", why do you give her the preference, "mom you love her more than me", mom, why do you scold me in such a situation, whereas when she does the same you dont say anything to her", etc etc, etc.
In spite of my making him explain several times, that she is too small to understand what mumma is telling. she will take some time to listen to me or you. but he doesn't understand any of that. further, he is turning into a arguing child.
I am having a tough time, where on one hand I have the challenge of handling a toddler and on the other my 9yr old son is showing behavioral problems as well.

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Bethany - posted on 08/24/2012

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maybe include the older kids in the solution, like sit down with them and get them to tell you what they think would be an appropriate way to get the youngest to behave how they need her to.



If they don't know, or come up with unreasonable answers, you can all look at a book on babies and toddlers together, and find out ways that help her learn how to behave more like how the older kids need her to.



Heaps of books in the library about this. If the older kids complain, then it is their responsibility to help you with a solution. 9 is definately old enough to take more responsibility for his behaviour. Like setting example for the younger one with his own behaviour, keeping precious things out of her reach or behind doors.



9 is not, however, old enough to be responsible for a littler kid, that's up to the parent. A 9 year old shouldn't be expected to take on a parenting role of supervision, etc.

Zenzi - posted on 08/06/2012

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Honey I'm going through the same thing with my 10 yr old daughter and her 3 yr old brother. Its not easy but I think if you give him the authority to lovingly discipline her when she does something wrong he will easily understand that she's just a baby. Its not an easy strategy but I see it working for me, force him to be the big brother (lovingly). Like when he comes yelling that she's done something wrong, you ask him why he allowed her. Take note not to make him feel like her nanny.

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