Hitting and Throwing stuff

Nicole - posted on 08/23/2010

my 18mon daughter is the same exact way except that she only hits I was wondering were she got it from thinking maybe her older cousins were hitting her or having her hit people but I would bring her over my friends house and her niece which is younger than my daughter would hit her and I think ever since that day she just began to hit.. but every1 would say oh hit her back that she wont hit u after...yeah that dont work I hit her back and told her no and she hits me back and tells me no and I tell her no we dont hit and sometimes she will frown and look sad but and I think k well this will work not really she still hits so I dont know what exactly what to do I think just depends on the kids because some thinks work for some kids and it dont work for others

Tabitha - posted on 08/22/2010

my son tries to hit because his dad laughs when he does it. he also throws what is in his hand especially when he knows he can't have it and i say give it to me... that's when he really tries to chuck it! i just get to his eye level and say "julius, don't hit" or "Julius, don't throw that remote. it hurts mommy" (because i too have been hit by many things. =) ) if he does it again, i say it again, eye to eye and spank his hand. he usually doesn't do it again.
as for time out. yes, i do time outs and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i use it when talking and spanking on the hand doesn't work. i sit him down against the wall on his little rug and tell him he is being a naughty boy and is now in time out. i keep him there and count. 1 year old equals 1 minute in time out. i also count on my fingers to 10 and out loud and he listens. with him, i can't put him in time out and then walk away. you have to stay with him. don't let him try to crawl away and don't pay attention to him when he throws a fit. just stick to your plan and stay on top of it. good luck!! and don't worry... we are all here for ya! =)

Alleah - posted on 08/22/2010

My daughter has a bad habit of hitting and throwing thigns when she's angry too. It's usually a precursor to a tantrum. If she's trying to play when she throws a toy, I take the toy away, and give her ball instead, while explaining that it's ok to throiw balls, but not other toys. If she's mad and throwing it as an expression of anger, she gets one warning and it's straight into time-out after that. Since she's only 18 mos., we go for two minutes which is timed by a little egg timer, and she sits on a stool in the kitchen for her time out. She usually cries the whole time, but we ignore it. If she gets off the stool, it's back onto it, and the timer gets reset. I think she'll need a little more time for the idea to sink in, but she'll get it eventually.

Charlene - posted on 08/13/2010

Well I feel the same sometimes, but she hates her crib, so it's a good time out but now she REALLY hates it!!! Move anything fun away from his crib and LEAVE HIM IN THERE!!! Until he realises that it's not play time, he's in S*#@!!!! Make sure he knows it, with my kid I can put her on the other side of the love seat, if she knows she's had bad behavior because I told her so, she won't move(& I turn treehouse off) It's my biggest barganing chip.But she somethimes hits, slaps, kicks and bites me, I always say the same sentance " You NEVER hit/bite/scratch/kick YOUR MOMMY!!!!!" That has worked she hardly ever does it anymore. Check out what the other kids in the day care are like, he's learning it from another kid who gets away with it. Let the daycare know what ur expectations are for ur son& ask them who he's been playing with, then ask him about it. Maybe a kids hitting him& he knows you'll love him nomatter what, you always hurt the ones you love... Don't we all?

Katie - posted on 08/13/2010

My son was born in February 09 and he is going through the throwing stage, he loves playing with his footballs and throws them but he also throws his other toys,, I have introduced a time out step which is fantastic as he knows when he is in the wrong, I communicate alot with his childcare so we all do the same, so he doesn't get any mixed messages, also I think constansisty is very important, hopefully this phase will soon pass, hope this helps x

Spring - posted on 08/12/2010

I also have a son that doees that but, time out does work. I make him sit out in his time out chair where he cant see the t.v. or other people. and if he gets him I first tell him the first time why he is in trouble and when he hears the timer go off he may get up. if he continues to get up I keep starting his time over. PATIENTS is what you need. Trust me I had to grow a lot of them with him. He almost won a few times.

Darci - posted on 08/12/2010

Good you are wanting to do something about it now and not waiting for him to get worse. I think to some degree every child goes through hitting maybe not throwing things but hitting for sure. You just want to make sure you are teaching him its wrong. Never yell at your child for it. Time out it a very good idea. My son is 17 months and has been in time out twice this week for hitting me. He laughs when I say no he thinks its a game so I pretended to cry the other day like good pretend crying then he started crying.he felt bad. hehe that worked. I dont think it is too young for time out they need to get in the habit now even if they dont fully understand because if you start now it will be less of a batle when they are older. I dont recomend putting him in his crib for time out though. Not like I am an expert or anything but I dont want my son to start thinking his bed is a naughty place. His bed should be a place he feels safe and loves and can go to bed with out thinking he is in trouble. We have a designated naughty spot. We bought a time out mat, you could get any mat really a regular mat from target or something but we order ours and it says Jonahs time out spot. If you have more then one kid I would just get a mat that doesnt have the kids name on it though. So every time my son does something naughty I put him on his mat and he doesnt completely understand yet that he is in trouble but I think with every time he starts to understand more. You are supose to put them in time out for as many minutes long as they are old so my son is one so he gets put in time out for one minute. He usually stands there and smacks the wall with his hands then trys to run away I have to physically hold him on the mat usually but he is learning hopefully by the time he is 2 he can sit there for 2 minutes by himself. After time out i tell him what he did wrong when he is older and can talk more I will not tell him what he did wrong but ask him if he remembers why he got put in time out. So i tell him what he did and tell him it was not nice and that I love him but he should not do that. The other day he took all the qutips dumped them all around the bathroom. I asked him to please pick them up and he shook his head no i asked him again and said you know your not suppose to dump those out (he does it a lot) you need to pick them up please he shook his head no. I said okay pick them up or we are going to time out. He wouldnt so we went to time out when time out was over I told him what he did and then asked if he would come help me clean them up. He said yes and came and helped me pick them up. So that shows me he is beinning to understand time out.
So you are doing the right thing time out. Your son is in day care so I think it is going to be hard because he is always going to come home with some thing else he learned from some other kid. Thats hard. Just make sure your disipline is consistant. If you tell them no and if you do it again then your going to time out and he does it agian follow through and put him in time out. Looking at my friends and other parents I notice some arent so consistant with the disipline and their kids are little terrors so just follow through with what you say so your child knows you mean buisness.

Natasha - posted on 08/12/2010

im havin the same problem with archie for at least three months now and i thought it was a faze he was going through but now he just laughs when me i tell him no and its not nice to throw . He also does the hitting out thing aswell which is becoming a pain when oterh children he comes into contact with at playgroup he just hits them. Its not like its because he is scared of them because he does it at home to his big brother and family memebers too. Could do with some advice wth how todeal with it because whatever i try doi inthe way of teaching him wright from wrong its not working.

Tracie - posted on 08/12/2010

Stephanie, Thank you for the Idea of using the Crib for a time-out area. I am all the time telling her to "Be Nice" or "No". "No" is very popular. Abigail also has a problem with head butting. That is her favorite thing to do when she is mad. That was one of the ways I had ended up with a bloody nose.

Stephanie - posted on 08/12/2010

My son is exactly the same way. He, however likes to pinch and gouge too. He has given me a black eye and many other scratches. I give him time outs in his crib for 1-2minutes and sometimes that helps. I always tell him "nice" and touch his hand to my face or my arm or wherever he hurt me and I re-iterate that he has to be nice when I get him out of time-out. We have been dealing with this for a few months and I sure hope he gets over it soon!!! I am very relieved to see that other people are having the same problem tho.

Tracie - posted on 08/11/2010

Abigail will get mad at me when I am teaching her what her boundaries are. she will Throw whatever she has in her hands, then she will drop to the floor and continue to bang her head off the floor as hard as she can. If she she is close enough she will also hit me in my face. She has given me a blood nose a couple times. She is 18 months old what would you do?

Stacey - posted on 08/11/2010

i'm pretty sure it is the age. i'm a SAHM, and my Feb 09 baby is the 4th child to go through this phase. i just read in a parenting magazine or on-line that this may last a year! hope not!

Brittney - posted on 08/11/2010

I feel ya! I stay home with my daughter who is 18 months and she's been throwing things and starting to hit. I don't know what to do either, but I do timeouts and just tell her to go sit in timeout and she'll sit in the hall for about a minute. Then I tell her that she can't throw things and hit because it's not nice. She doens't seem to quite understand yet, but she will soon. I try ignoring too, but it's hard when they are throwing things... I think it's just a phase, but want to try to get it under control cause she's hit me with several things in the face.

Amy - posted on 08/10/2010

Hi there, my daughter also is in this stage. In all honesty I really wouldn't worry too much about it. My daughter is the 3rd child and so I've seen this behavior before. It doesn't last, if you keep on being consistent with telling him no hitting or no throwing it will eventually end. Its very frustrating but at this point your son is just testing his limits and that is totally normal. Once this ends something else will come up, and he'll just continue to test you. In my experience consistency is huge!

Meggy - posted on 08/10/2010

my son also likes to throw his toys around but I'll always ask him to put them back...so he has a concept that after he finishes playing with toys, he'll need to put them back...he can be slow to start...but once we help out..he'll come over and put them back too...so I guess you can teach him to put back the things he's throwing...;)

Crystal - posted on 08/09/2010

As silly as it sounds, when my son hits out of frustration I get down on his level, I say "no hitting, be nice' and I give him a hug. Now if I catch him in the act right before he is going to hit I can say " be nice, no hitting" and miraculously he stops and gives a hug, to which I then praise. In emergency situations I never hit back, I do however hold his arm down as I get down to his level and talk to him. He might not understand me and I rarely understand him but I think its important to get into the habit of talking it out.

Lainie - posted on 08/09/2010

hello karmi my 18 month old son does the same everything he holds he throws and seems awfully confused that he can throw balls but nothing else!! so when he does throw things I always remind him that we only throw balls its hard I know but I dont think they do it to be naughty just experimenting their surroundings. I also use time out I have a special mat if my son is doing something naughty I give him till the count of three if he hasnt stopped I put him on the mat and tell him why he is there they dont stay on there very long at this age but they get the idea. hope this helped goodluck :)

Aideen - posted on 08/06/2010

Our small man likes to throw and bang things too...must be his age! If he hurts me I made a big loud cry and withdraw from him...similar to what he does if he's hurt. He gets a bit of a fright and looks at me with a little smile. I say ah ah in an upset voice (not cross) and I keep away from him for a while. He doesn't hit us very often. When he hits his sister I've shown her how to do the same and he doesn't hit her very often. I say ah ah and tell him not to make his sister cry and the I have a cuddle and comfort her (even though she doesn't need it). If he hurts us there is a strong reaction and he seems to be learning not to do that!



Regarding throwing things out of the playpen and dinner on the floor....I think that's different....he's done with those things. It must be a stage of delelopment as they all seem to be doing it at the same age....cup upside down into the dinner? They like doing things that have a predicable result...throw it and it goes on the floor....we have some toys with predictable results....balls that roll down and set off a bit of music...putting cars down a slope would be a similar idea. I wouldn't count this as bold...an inconvenient stage of learning about the world! I just try to get the dinner put away before too much goes on the floor and would make sure he can't break anything.



Hair pulling: again the big cry...kind of unavoidable with the sudden pulls. This deterrs a certain amount. I also taught him how to rub gently....his sisters hair and her face, the dog and teddies. You need to teach gentleness.

I would, for the same reason avoid slapping, ....you don't want to teach him that. You'd find it difficult to hit him hard enough to hurt him and he won't understand that you're cross with a swat. A loud cry is not something they like...and he gets the message clearly!

Sarah - posted on 08/05/2010

Yup my 18 month old if he dont have his way he hits you, if he hits he will be told a firm NO, do not hit mummy, be gentle i then get his hand and run his hand softly on my face or daddy's hand and I say softly no hitting, he then hugs you funny enuff I think they know when they have hit or done something wrong. If he hits again then he gets put into his naughty corner bit of a mission to get him to stay put, some times I may just go put him into his cot! I have had to give a small smack on the hand or bottom but he just laughs and thinks its funny! Dont be afraid to smack in your home, and sometimes listening to supernanny that can help you all out! it doesnt have to be hard but sometimes you may have to if they dont listen!

Samantha - posted on 08/04/2010

hi there my son is my third child but my only boy, he hits and throws all the time. Can i say all this is perfectly normal. They are learning and testing you also. Its basically cause and effect and nothing to do with being in day care or not its just a phase. At this age ive found they are too young for punishments or time outs. The best thing is being consistant when they start hitting say NO in a firm voice and move them away from what they are hitting, my son just laughs and goes straight back and starts hitting again. But i keep saying no and removing him. He soon loses interest. It can be very tiring and can take a long time but just keep repeating the same thing. My son knows when i say no im not happy but they will do it anyway to test you you will see them looking at you for your reaction keep saying no.

Erin - posted on 08/03/2010

Same here. My son is 18 months old and is throwing everything. We praise him for throwing a ball, so I'm guessing he thinks it's ok to throw anything & everything. Of course we tell him not to throw other objects, but I really don't think he understands. He thinks it's funny. He also pulls hair and hits too. He does it with a smile. We always tell him "gentle" and "do nice" and he usually stops. He started shoving the other kids at daycare. I think he thinks he's playing.

Brittany - posted on 07/30/2010

Oh my baby boy throws EVERYTHING... When he is done eating or drinking throws food and drink.When he is in play pen and is done playing with a certain toy he throws it out. He hits pinches and pulls hair while saying ouch. Id like feedback on this as well!

Sara - posted on 07/30/2010

HI, I am in the same boat as you, so dont feel bad, although my son doesnt go to daycare I am with hi 24/7 and I am asking myself how did he get like this, my son has to to the point of throwing temper tantrums, I have tried everything as to timeout, ignoring, and swatting hi, and nothing seems to work. If i do put him in time out then I have to sit there and hold him still.