How do i approach this correctly?.My 18 month baby started exploring her private and laughing.

Carol - posted on 08/04/2010

thanx dawn it is a relief 2no we r not alone,thankyou for replying xx

Dawn - posted on 08/02/2010

To Carol: HA! My little man is the same...I call him my puppy dog....he "humps" anything he can!! He hasn't really done it much in public (most times he does it when he is tired) but I did spy another child doing it at the inside playgound...made me feel so much better to know I am not alone!! What characters :) :)

Dawn - posted on 08/02/2010

Your concern is understoond much more clearly now, Sherrie! I am not a professional, but I would think that your daughter will not have any memory of her abuse...I have no memory until around 3 1/2, although nothing tragic happened to me. Still, all things considered, as she gets older (4/5??), I would keep an eye on her behavior with this and seek professional help if you get worried....better to help early then deal with a problem later. I can not believe people can hurt other people like that, and at such a helpless age....I hope they locked away the abuser (I would approve other punishments if I was in charge!!). You are such a wonderful person for taking this little girl as your own! God bless you and your family. **HUGS**

Sherrie - posted on 08/02/2010

Thank you so much! Yes it makes sense i am so blessed to have her in my life, she's a doll baby!...; ) and a beautiful one. thanks again, Sher

Erin - posted on 08/01/2010

Oh Sherie, now wonder you were worried!! I would have been too considering... Poor little bubba. You are an angel and I seriously believe that with all the good memories you are providing her she will be beyond fine- all the good will cancel out the bad that has happened in her life before you. Does that make sense? You are both lucky to have each other!!

Darci - posted on 07/31/2010

My son Is 17 months and has been doing that forever probably since one. I think for all kids its normal they are just figuring out the parts of their body. Like when they first figure out they have a tounge they play with it and blow rasberries and all that. Its just another body part they have discovered they have. I woulnt worry about it. She will grow out of it. My son on the other hand is a boy and I dont think boys ever grow out of that. Haha. seriously. Its kinda funny actually when he is in the bath he will be playing with his boat or something then he will stop in the middle of playing and have a little grab of those little man parts he will do it randomly through out the bath he like has to check and make sure its still there and yeah sometimes he will grab it and giggle. Shes probably laughing cuz it tickles and or because she knows you say no dont do that and kids for some reason at least me son thinks its funny when you tell them not to do something. Its normal

Carol - posted on 07/31/2010

my 17mnth old daughter is doing smething slightly different,it started when she was using her baby walker she would the only way i can describe it is make a grinding movement and keep it going till it seems she got a feeling she liked,i asked my health visitor and she told me it was normal,my daughter was getting a feeling when she done this that she liked and i wasnt 2think it wasnt normal,however she has not been in her baby walker for a long time now but found that if she sat on the arm of the settee and grind she gets it again.Why&When will she stop this if i ask her to stop doing that she gets abit upset,i dont want her 2think shez doing wrong but it is not a nice thing 2watch ur baby doing.I know she doesnt understand&has no clue of anything sexual but how and why is ahe able to get this feeling so young.My eldest daughter done smething similiar for a short while but nothing like this,My friends daughter is the same age and is doing the same thing,we just need to no we r not alone and can anyone advise me how i can distract her from doing this,its normaly when she is getting tired please help

Dena - posted on 07/31/2010

Oh Sherrie, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to her. I am hoping that since she is laughing that means there is no memory of the incidents - I would think that would upset her instead of her laughing. I definitely understand your concerns. Even knowing her previous experiences, I think it's perfectly normal for her to explore herself. I have 3 girls ... I don't recall any of them exploring this young, but they did when they were potty training and had panties on. I think the diaper keeps them from exploring mostly, but I am sure they've reached down there - I just didn't think twice about it. I am thankful that your little girl has a good mommy to take care of her now and shows concern. I wish others didn't judge quite so easily! I like some of the others' responses about using that time to learn all her body parts. I have always just ignored it and let them be.

Sherrie - posted on 07/31/2010

Thanks so much everyone for the comments! I know now this is normal..lol i thought it was but didn't know how to approach it. Thanks so much for your wonderful answers and for JAX WILSON, i think it's a perfectly normal to ask questions about anything in life ,but especially about your child, if you have concerns ,don't be quick to judge someone where there may be more to the reasoniong of the question than you now!My daughter was abused as a baby and we got her through DCFS,she now is "our daughter" but i worried it brought up some type of memories for her.Be more sensitive to poeple next time maybe, but thanks for your reply, it was appreciated. Sher

Jax - posted on 07/30/2010

Omg...why are you 'very worried' about it? it's HER body, it's normal. Let her touch it, because if you push her arm away, she is just going to want to touch it more. My baby has just started to do that; she touches it during changing time and giggles. I laugh too and say 'at least your parts are all working'. she stops and moves on. she is a human being and everyone, no matter what they say, touches themselves. let her do it. so what? it's natural.

Erin - posted on 07/30/2010

My daughter is 17 months and has just found it too!!! Initially I was worried about it, but it is a part of her body like her foot so I am very cautious not to make it a negative thing, instead I just name the body part and move on to other body parts like her belly button. I really like the idea of explaining that it is used for weeing, that will be a good introduction to toilet training!!! Thankyou!!!

Tonya - posted on 07/23/2010

My son does it too, don't worry. They are just exploring. I wouldn't worry until she takes off her diaper to touch herself in public. Right now it is more of an exploration thing than a gratification thing.

Lisa - posted on 07/22/2010

Oh Dawn's idea is good too if you're at the potty training stage since they're interested in the 'equipment'. Keep repeating the fact that it's how they can pee and they might try it to see if it works :D

Dawn - posted on 07/22/2010

This is perfectly natural at this age. My son discovered his penis at 8 months and doesn't seem like he will stop anytime soon!! They do it as part of discovering themselves and because it feels good, but as Lisa said, there is nothing "sexual" about it at this age. I too use it as a way to teach him that it has a name...."that is your penis" and even go as far as telling him that he pees out of it (we are introducing the potty now)! I try not to make a big deal out of it either way, not discouraging it or encouraging it (although it is hard not to laugh when your little man is walking around handling his balls!!) I don't think there is much sense in trying to explain about doing it in private at this age, that is a concept that is meaningless at this stage, but can be taught later. As far as caregivers go...I am sure they understand this is normal and healthy behavior and if they don't they shouldn't be working with children....babysitters may have to have it explained but not certified caregivers. Relax and let nature happen. :)

Lisa - posted on 07/22/2010

Sorry, forgot to answer you on your query about what to say: I personally use this as an opportunity to explain his body parts to him. E.g "oh you've found your penis, let's look for your belly button...oh oh where is it?" (guiding his fingers to the belly button as I say it, as if using his finger like a computer mouse pointer). They're too young to understand the concept of sexuality at this point so maybe good to keep it simple, short and educational in other ways!

Lisa - posted on 07/22/2010

Hi there. I've got a 17 month old son. And he started pulling and touching his penis when he was between 14-15 old. He would do it when I changed his diaper. He seemed to like it and when I pull his fingers away, he giggles and there goes his fingers again. I think it's pretty normal even though some kids may not do it this young. It's most likely a new discovery for them - the soft feel of the skin and the ticklish sensation they get when they touch there precisely because it's soft and sensitive there. My son's stopped doing it now but am sure given his curious nature, he'll come back to it one day. Try not to worry :)