Is it reasonable for a stay at home mom to ask the father for assistance in getting a 3year old and a 2 year old back to sleep during the night after I have tried and failed? Trying to sleep train them both to sleep by themselves through the night in their own rooms.(very late I know!)

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Gabrielle - posted on 05/25/2012

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My husband has a job that he builds red iron building. He works very hard and at one point I was a stay at home mom but I still asked for help and he would help me. You can get exhausted doing it on your own and get really emotional. I think if your hitting that point its time to ask daddy for some help because you have to look out for your well being also! but I recommend you don't get up with them to get them back to sleep. Its very important for them to learn to "self soothe" They are dependant now on you putting them to sleep so it will be very hard. Try just a couple nights at leaving them alone as long as they're safe and okay. They will EVENTUALLY fall asleep.. I know they might cry and everything but its the best way to do it or you will be doing this for a very long time. I tried so many things that the books said because they said letting them cry is bad blah blah blah.. We'll I tried it anyways and it worked and they still love me just as much :) My three year old has been sleeping alone and thru the night since I tried this at about 1 1/2 and my 1 1/2 year old has been sleeping alone and thru the night since four months! Will her I would go in and change her diaper and let her go back to sleep. Wouldn't give her a bottle or anything because their stomachs at that point are big enough to eat and have enough to keep them thru the night though she slept from about ten till six but still! I hope everything works out!

Bethany - posted on 05/10/2012

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that's something you'd need to work out with him. But, in our house, I am a SAHM and my husband works normal hours in an office with a long commute. He has weekends off. If I can help it, I don't disturb him on a week night, so he can do his job and bring home the bacon. He helps alot from coming home time to bed time, with baths and stories etc so I can get anything I need to do done, like cleaning up after dinner, showering, etc.

Weekends, he will get up but our 3 year old tends to pick and choose who she wants each time, so we really just go by her, whatever gets us all back to sleep fastest.

Sleep hygene is so important to a happy family and home. It's so worth the few weeks of hard core work it can take to get it sorted out. See it as boot camp, with an end in sight.

If they're both up at once, I'd rope him in to help out with which ever one will have him. Just make sure you are both rowing the same boat in the same direction (ever canoed with someone else? so hard) Make sure you're both using the exact same consequences, no matter how tired you are. The weaker you are now, the longer it will take.

If a kid gets the exact same reaction from both parents every time, every single time, they eventually learn. But ANY chink in your armour and they'll milk it for all it's worth.

Stay strong and keep the communication with each other very open and unjudgmental. It's not forever. He's your partner in this, and many other challenges that lay ahead.

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Brandy - posted on 09/22/2012

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i read this to my husband and he laughed. as a SAHM i understand this post but the way i see it is sure he has to go to work and he needs to be rested to do his job BUT what about you? you have a job too, and isnt it important for you to get some sleep as well? he gets to clock in and clock out and take breaks and most likely has his laundry and meals cooked for him among many other things, do you get a break? do you get a day off? do people take care of you? I know alot of women would disagree with me but i feel i deserve to have help with OUR kids. He chose to be a father and with that comes responsibility and its not always pleasant. I love my husband and i do alot for him because i CHOOSE to and when he makes me mad or forgets that he will end up doing some of those things for himself. Respect is important to both of us and i am lucky to be married to a man who takes care of us by going to work and taking care of my car etc... and jenna is lucky to have a daddy who takes time to play with her and gives mommy a break sometimes, we deserve it!

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