Odd problem please any suggestions would be nice....

Kereen - posted on 03/20/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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First off I am a Hello Kitty Junkie....that being said here is my problem. My son is a smidge over 13 months now. When he was about 3 months he started pulling at my pillow case which happens to be Hello Kitty. One day it came off and since then he has used it as a comfort thing. It also was on my favorite pillow (which I called my "Squish" I'm a bit goofy but eh) I also had one on another pillow which he got a hold of as well. The problem is he takes it everywhere. He LOVES it. When he is sad or hurt or falling asleep he needs it. It also is pink and aqua. We try to leave it in the car when we go to the store and things because my husband did not like the "what a pretty girl" because they saw the pillowcase. I thought about just dyeing it but that would probably come off on him. I don't want to take it away. It really makes things better for him. My husband thought about replacing it with a different pillow case but it would not be the same and at this point he would totally know the difference. But he is really fond of the Hello Kitty pillow case. Should we try to take it away? Help!

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Bethany - posted on 03/24/2010

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Can you turn it inside out? Is it the feel of it, or your smell on it, or the design he likes? Charlotte carts her muslin around everywhere like Linus, but I have about a dozen of them all different colours and she doesn't care which it is.



Also, both times I've dressed her in green instead of her signature pink, people have thought she was a boy, even when the green tshirt had pretty butterflies and puffed sleeves and her jeans had flowers on them! So there's no telling what people are going to think. I'll stick to gender stereotyping for now, if only for the sake of others, she looks best in pink anyway.

Karen - posted on 03/22/2010

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You said he LOVES it, so leave it. It's not harming anyone. It's a comfort item for him. Sometimes I wish my son would take to a comfort item, I am his lol. Who cares if it's pink, why does it have to be a "girl" thing? Put a "boyish" outfit on him when he goes out with his lovey if you're worried about people thinking he is a girl or something.

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Kelina - posted on 04/03/2010

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I somewhat agree with both you and your husband. My son has a security blanket and if we would let him, he would carry it and suck on it everywhere. We couldn't get him to take a soother. What we did was put rules on it. He is allowed his blankie when he goes to bed, and we have one in each of our vehicles so that one he is warm and two if he wants to go to sleep he will. When we realized that he liked his balnket we went out and bought like 5 of them. I agree, try buying ones that are blue if that's an issue for your husband. Lol, even if my son is dressed in majorly stereotypical boy clothes we still get the oh such a pretty girl! Everyone here is right, pink is just a color and it really is a society thing.

Dawn - posted on 04/02/2010

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My son has never been mistaken for a girl, but he will wear pink shirts when I find the right one!! I love men (and boys) in pink oxfords or polo shirts!!! As Bethany said, if they are to be gay, they already are! My book on childrearing says that at this age there really are no differences in gender (besides the obvious!!), they will each play with what ever toy (binkie, lovely) that is appealing to them. My MIL works for a family with girls and brings unwanted items home sometimes. One such item was a pink Care Bear with a big rainbow, wearing workout clothing; she dances and sings "Bears Just Want to Fun", "Lets Get Physical" and "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes".....it is his FAVORITE!!!!

Nicole - posted on 04/02/2010

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i think the whole pillow case thing is just because it has your scent on it....your scent comforts your baby. i had taken my daughter to the dr for her 1 yr check up and i told her about the problems i was havin with her sleepin...she told me to put an article of my clothing in her crib, or my pillow, something that has my scent on it...she dont sleep without my pillow, i belive that its a comfort thing

Bethany - posted on 03/29/2010

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hahaha, actually, Rebecca, a recent study has found that Baby Brain is positively correlated with sleep deprivation and milk manufacture, so I'll use it until Charlotte is sleeping 12 hrs straight and off the breast. Sound fair?

Rebecca - posted on 03/28/2010

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Sorry bethany but apparently new studies have found theres actually no such thing as 'baby brain' although I don't know how they came to that conclusion because we all seem to get it!! As for the pink pillowcase, don't worry about it, little boys don't know it's 'girly' or 'wrong' (which it isn't) my son has a pink dummy. It came in a pack of 3 and the others are blue and green and exactly the same but he still prefers the pink one for some reason! Maybe becasue it is a brighter colour? And i got asked if he was a boy or girl, even tho he was wearing blue overalls and doesn't even look like a girl in pink clothes (i know because we did a silly experiment with my cousin, very funny!) just because of the pink dummy!

Karen - posted on 03/24/2010

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My brother was called a girl half his childhood, poor kid. Even when my mom put a shirt on him that said "I'm a boy" ladies would say "Oh what a pretty little girl." LOL
Don't worry about whay people say, keep your kid happy.

Bethany - posted on 03/24/2010

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...and don't worry about not thinking of solutions. I once asked my friend, who was also breastfeeding her child, to express some milk for me as I was looking at maybe needing a medication that would dry up my supply. She said "um, maybe you could buy some formula, just in case" and I said "of course! I can't believe I didn't think of that, it didn't even enter my head!" Duh! Talk about baby brain! How long can we use that excuse, I'm hoping at least until school.

Bethany - posted on 03/24/2010

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mate, if he is going to be gay, he already is, and no amount of blue dye will change that. Just celebrate the kid he is, and let him get on with being him. Gender identity can't be encouraged or discouraged, I think. (I'm sure Oprah thinks so too.)

Kereen - posted on 03/24/2010

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OMG! Thank you guys so much. I didn't think it was a problem. My husband just got a little put out when someone called him a girl. But sewing somethings "boyish" on it or holy crap just turning it inside out. I can't believe I didn't think of that is incredible ideas and I think I will go do that now. By the way I was looking at his toys the other day because he got a small little chunky truck for his Bday that he just started playing with and I noticed most if not all his toys are "neutral" toys. And also really enjoys Ni Hao Kai Lan. Which some would say is a girlie thing. So I am not stressing on "it might turn him gay crap. I think that is really lame.

Anne - posted on 03/23/2010

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It's society's problem not his so I wouldn't take away something that gives him so much comfort. I once saw a father going mad at his son and shaking him because he was looking at a 'My little pony' horse. The horse was really attractive to any child but the father had some silly fear that it would make his son gay or something! Men and women would probably get along better we weren't so afraid of a little boy showing sensitivity and beating it out of him. Not that I am likening this to your case. Please don't think I was. You are obviously very thoughtful and caring parents. It was just a comment about society's attitudes and how silly it is we have to bother about these things. Pink is just a colour and cats are just animals and children should be allowed to like what they like. As to what you could do to satiate the adults without upsetting your son though...Do you think it's the cat or the colour? If it's the cat then could you buy him a different coloured hello kitty pillow case? If you give him a few brightly coloured pillow cases he might find one he likes even better. Is it that it smells of mommy's scent too? Could you sew on some other characters that he likes one by one to gradually reduce the pink area?

Brandi - posted on 03/21/2010

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my son had the same problem with this dingy old blanket one day we tossed it he cried for three days and found another blanket he liked so even if you take it away he will replace it jusy keep the hello kitty stuff put when it comes time for him to replace it

Nikki - posted on 03/20/2010

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I would allow him to continue to use the pillow case when necessary, and try to wean him off of caring the pillow case around town just because he wants it. Start with allowing him to take it in the car, but not in the store, and then when he has mastered that, try only using it at home, and work your way down from there.



I understand your husbands point of view, and I'm sure people make a fuss over him carrying something "girly", but he's only 13 months and does not know the difference!

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