Planning second child, what should I expect?

Cassie - posted on 12/17/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My husband and I finally agreed to try for a second child. My daughter is currently 23 months old. Can any Moms of two or more give me a heads up on what to expect when added a second child? I am worried about my daughter being jealous, the attention that the new baby will take away from my daughter, being able to handle both kids on my own. (My husband works 14 hour days, 6 days a week so I will be on my own)

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Belinda - posted on 12/19/2010

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Hi There!
First ill tell you a bit of my situation so you can see where i am coming from. I fell pregnant with my second baby when my first was only 91/2 months old so there is only about 18months between my two.

Dont be frightened. Children, as frustrating as they can be are the light of our lives and such a blessing! Guaranteed things are going to get busier and you wont have much time to sit down. I too have a husband that works 6 days a week and looooong hours so im left to my own devices alot. I dont know much about your situation but i have had my son (the elder) in daycare one day a week since he was 11 months. I think this is helping alot with his social skills and helped him to accept the new baby alot easier!
- FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS!!! - Find a social network of friends with children the same age as yours and have play dates and swap the older kids for a morning a week each. This gives you time out to do whatever you want to do, be it catching up on chores or spending quality time with bub! Family i presume is also helpful in this way but i am on other side of country to mine so i cant comment much on that.
- One will often have to wait! - Unless you are a supehero sometimes you just cant deal with both kids at the same time. Yes babies are time consuming but sometimes they even have to wait if you are dealing with your toddler. Dont always rush off from your toddler if bubs is upset -i think this will create jealousy...if bub is hungry then toddler thrive on being helpful so let them help feed(if on bottle) or burp them by giving a little pat on the back in between. Feed time is a good time to read your toddler a story on the couch as this takes minimal hands and effort! Let them help change nappies by getting them to get you a nappy and give them a wipe to do as they please (mine cleans bubs face but thats ok coz he thinks hes helping)Praise for the toddler will make them feel like they are helping not being neglected.
- Dont worry about your house! - When baby is sleeping this is quality time for you and toddler - the dishes will wait and so will the floors, dont get tied up doing housework instead of spending time with your kid!
- Do things your way - Only you will know what works for you. Dont worry about rules of parenting. I bath my baby at 10 at night because thats when it fits in with us. Not many would do it but its what works for me and makes my day less stressful.
Well i could go on and on and on - hopefully i have helped you in some way. We all get daunted by the idea of suddenly having 2. But babies are only time consuming for a short time. So take time to enjoy them and help your toddler enjoy them aswell. My baby is now 3 months old and my toddler is 21 months and although life is busy busy busy its a good kind of busy!

I hope this helped in some way. Remember your not the only one to have these thoughts before number 2! Good luck!

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