Potty Training...hit a road block, any suggestions?

Renee - posted on 04/21/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )

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So, my 2 y/o DD is potty training and doing well. We introduced the potty seat about 8 months ago but, didn't push it. Just left it out for her to sit on and use if she wanted to. She took to it right away, even bowel movements but, has never wanted to do it on a regular basis. For a while she refused to have anything to do with it though. Within the last couple of months her interest has peaked and so I have been encouraging it more and she has done really well. This week I decided to go all out and try to get her consistently going on her potty. The only time she wears a diaper is naptime and bedtime and a pull-up if we go shopping or somewhere there won't be bathrooms readily available spur of the moment, the rest of the time she runs around with no pants on. The last couple of days she has gotten to the point where she goes on her own without me having to ask or remind her, even bowel movements. The problem is, if we try to put big girl panties on her she stops going to her potty. It's as if she has a false sense of security having something covering her bottom and doesn't feel like she has to use the potty because there is something there to catch it. I even ask and remind and she tells me no she doesn't need to go. No more than I leave the room for 2 minutes I come back to a wet spot on the floor and wet panties! Any experience or suggestions? I'm at my wits end trying to figure out how to get her past this and would appreciate any help!

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Renee - posted on 05/04/2011

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I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words, encouragement, and advice. She is doing great! We are taking it slow as far as outtings and being outside with all the nice weather, but that's okay. She went through a week of being sick last week and still got up to potty when she felt up to it :) This week she has really jumped back on track. Today she was wearing a pull-up all day and never went potty in it! She even took it off to poo-poo twice! So proud of my big girl, even more I love seeing her run around so proud of herself telling everyone in the house what she did!

Katie - posted on 05/04/2011

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Sounds like you're doing everything right, but sometimes they just have a slight setback from time to time. My daughter (almost 7 years now) was trained at 23 months. 5 days of nothing but panties, and she was completely day trained (except for night & nap). A few months later, she did what your daughter is doing. There wasn't much I could do, but wait. After a couple weeks, she was back on track and hasn't had an accident now in 4 years. Lol.
My son (26 months has been trained for 8 months now. He regresses with the potty when he gets an ear infection or sickness. As soon as he gets better, he does great. One thing that many have mentioned is not using pull-ups for outings. I try to limit how long we will be out, and I buy the disposable toilet liners so he's not sitting on public toilets :) If he wears a pull-up, he uses it as an excuse to use it. Same with underwear. If he's having a bad day, I just put his pants on without undies, and he does awesome! Good luck!!!

[deleted account]

Hey why not have her potty train one of her dolls and have the doll have the same problems she has and she has to correct them and teach the doll how to go to the toilet everytime. I got this idea when I googled "bedtime and toilet training solutions" and got a fabulous site
bedtimeandtoilettrainingsolutions.com.au
and they so helped me.
Worth trying.

Michelle - posted on 04/27/2011

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We had a similar problem with my 3 year old twin girls. We started putting their big girl panties UNDER their diapers or pull ups. Now they wear big girl panties but have pull ups over the panties, so they still get the feeling of "wetness" but there is something there to catch it so it is not all over themselves and floor. My girls HATE being wet or dirty, so them wetting themselves totally freaked them out... One thing I have learned... They will do it when they are ready! I started trying to potty train my girls at 2 years old and they are now almost 3 1/2 years old and just now starting to get it... Maybe try a reward system? My girls get stickers for going pee-pee or poo-poo in the potty. Went went to the $1 store and bought poster boards and let them color on them and bought stickers, so now when they go in the potty, they get a sticker. Hope it works out! Good luck! It takes time and patience! :)

Julie - posted on 04/26/2011

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I'm going through the same thing with my 3 year old. I just think from my experience of potty training 5 other daughters that she's just not ready yet and when she is she'll do it. So I've gone back to diapers for a while. #5 daughter was 3 1/2 before she was fully trained.

Brandy - posted on 04/26/2011

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i have a very stubborn little girl on my hands, she was using the potty and then decided she just wants to pretend to use it and started peeing on the floor instead, the other day she held her pee for 4 hours! and then had an accident when the phone at my moms house rang and it startled her, i feel like we have tried everything and i know she is ready. im thinking of just taking the diapers and pullups away for good even at night just to see what happens.

Mazy - posted on 04/26/2011

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My son will be 2 in June & is fully toilet trained. He was trained early partly because we started early, but also because he was in cloth diapers. He was introduced to the potty at 8 months when he could walk, then after his first birthday we took his pants off & made him use it all the time (diapers were only used when sleeping). When he was 18 months we consistently put underwear on him & would "get mad" when he peed in them. If he had an accident he had to wipe the floor & put the dirty clothes in the laundry (something he didn't like doing because he doesn't like to touch wet things). After a week or so we started having him wear underwear & pants all the time. And he doesn't have accidents except on the extreme rare occasion, even in public! He also seems to understand "hold it" since he will wait when we are in the car. We just basically told him that it was big boy pants & a potty or nothing. We didn't have any grudge matches over it or anything like that. I let him decide which underwear & pants he wants to wear every morning & that seems to help. If you're strong about it, I think the toddlers will follow just fine.

Courtney - posted on 04/26/2011

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My daughter has been fully trained for a little of 6 months now (she'll be 3 in a week). Once she let me know it was time, we just agreed to no more diapers (pull ups stayed at nap and bed until about a month ago). We made a big deal about her big girl panties and I reminded her when she had them on that they should not get wet. Accidents are ok, but if we have an accident we (both) needed to clean it up. We've had one accident at home and 2 at daycare (she was distracted playing), but other than that, it worked like a charm. It was slow going at first, though. She showed interest in the potty for months - we also did the seat on top of the regular potty - but would sit and not go. When we switched to pull ups for outings, etc, I found myself being contradictory. She'd say she had to go in the store, and i'd tell her just to go in her pull up. BAD idea! There's always a potty fairly close by and my daughter loves when we have to rush to find it! She's gotten to a point now that, if we're in the car and she tells me she has to go, I can ask her if she can hold it until we get to the gas station. And she does! My sister got one of those travel potties (wish they had an adult size) it's the greatest invention ever! We went on a little road trip and it was great to just pull over and have her go in the back seat...

Renee - posted on 04/25/2011

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Constance, I wish I could do that! She would go crazy on me if I tried to keep her cooped up for a month, she is my "bye bye" and "outside" girl. She about goes stir crazy if it rains for a couple of days and she can't go out! lol That is a great approach though!
Tracy- I have thought about using one of those portable seats. her potty chair has one but, it has things that make it attach to the seat automatically that wouldn't be good in a public bathroom...I don't want to have to touch the seat that much to detach it! lol I want to look around and see if they sell any that are more compact than the basic ones I have seen in stores though, I really hate carrying a big bag and I would have to if I lugged one of those around :) Thanks for your advice!

Tracy - posted on 04/25/2011

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regarding public restrooms with toddlers, you can buy a portable seat that goes over the regular toilet seat and gives them more security sitting down. That's all I used for my kids (even at home) so I never had to clean out a potty seat.

Constance - posted on 04/25/2011

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I had the same issue with my oldest son. I wanted him to be potty train before our third child was born. If I put underwear on him he would wet them. it took me a couple of days but I remembered that all summer he played in the backyard in the pool without his diaper. Never had an accident so for a month was difficult but my husband I worked it out. I didn't take him out of the house at all, if I had to go tothe store I would wait fo my husband to come home. He ran around the house in his bithday suit for that whole month. After that month I made a huge deal out of all going to the farmers market and watermelons and corn where going to be there and he could get it but he had to wea his big boy undies. If he had to use the potty he had to tell us and we would get him to the bathroom really fast. It wok like a charm. We did this with him for about a month promised him something the was cheap and healthy and it usually was something we wee getting anyways but he didn't have to know that. Little by little he would just put on his undewear without being asked now getting him to actually wea clothes that was whole different story. LOL

Renee - posted on 04/25/2011

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Thanks, Kristi. It's always encouraging to hear others have been through the same thing and have found ways to deal with it and help!

Kristi - posted on 04/25/2011

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This happened to us too at about the same age with my 3 year old daughter. Sounds like you are doing everything right... it's just the little age gap that will come together shortly. Try letting her wear dresses and skirts for now with no panties (woo-hoo!) and if it's chilly, put a pair of those Baby Legs on her or long knee socks. The other thing I do now that I started doing about 3 months ago just before she turned three... is to just scoop her up and set her on the potty. I just kind of squat there in front of her and keep my hands on her waist, chat a bit and see if anything comes out. 50/50 she'll pee on the spot. I don't bother with the potty seat anymore as it slides and gets in the way. If she really protests when I set her down, I just let her down and help her wash her hands and praise her for "trying". I expect lots of accidents and just carry a couple extra sets of bottoms and a wet bag. Good luck! Mine is getting better all the time, so surely you are close. :)

Renee - posted on 04/25/2011

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Thanks for all the advice guys! She is doing really well, she had a little set back over the last couple of days not feeling good but, seems to have jumped right back into it today! She got new big girl panties in her Easter basket and has been promised Tinkerbell ones when she stops having accidents in her panties for a couple days. So far so good today, no accidents! I really like the idea of taking a potty seat with us, not always convenient but, I think it could help.
@Valerie- I love the way you did the rewards system with your grandkids. Not only were they unique rewards but, it sounds like you are making great memories with them as well.
BTW I have come to the conclusion that they need to make waterproof covers for car seats and a way to avoid using public restrooms with toddlers...the thought grosses me out! lol

Noreen - posted on 04/25/2011

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I think they have a false sense of security because they have had that diaper up against their bum their whole life. When I potty trained my boys I let them go commando and it really helped. My suggestion for pt is go full force or not at all. If you go out, bring extra clothes and put the potty seat in the car.

Brandy - posted on 04/25/2011

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One thing to keep in mind is she might like playing in the water or the mommy/me time. My son is almost 3 but has been potty-trained since he was 20 months. We did have 2 set backs when my daughter was born and when my best friend died in January but we're back on track now. I stopped asking him if he needed to go and started taking/draging him to the bathroom so he could at least try. Most of the time he is to preoccupied to remember to go on his own. As far as accidents go, they happen no big deal. Good luck!

Ukiah - posted on 04/24/2011

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It sounds like your daughter is doing great and well on her way....my son is 28 months old and potty trained for about a month now....from what I learned it's really best to keep them out of a diaper even when you are out of the house, pack plenty of xtra clothes and keep your time away from home shorter or make a stop somewhere to use the potty. I bring a potty everywhere with us when we visit friends/family, and if we're out I limit it to an hour or a little more, that seems to be his max for now, but it's getting longer as he's learning his limits. He's still in a diaper for naps and night time, and I just explain to him that "diapers are only for sleeping now in case some pee needs to come out"....as for accidents they will happen, but let her know firmly that the pee/poo has to go in the potty not on the floor etc. and that's great you're getting her to help clean it up....allow as much control on her part as possible. We have 2 potties, so our son can choose which one he wants to use every time, and we let him flush etc....if she's thinking of her panties as diapers then try letting her just wear pants without anything underneath, that worked for my son to know that he had a bare bum, no diaper etc. Also, have a toilet seat on hand too, my son is now choosing that once in a while rather than use his potties, give lotsa choice within limits, as much as possible, so she feels in control. Good luck!

Valerie - posted on 04/24/2011

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I trained my last two grandchildren for their moms by using a reward method. One week of no accidents and they had the reward of their choice. One asked for a pony in a basket and the other a chocolate cake. Worked like a charm. Once they had accomplished that goal we set another goal with much enthusiasm. After two rewards, they were both accomplished potty goers. By the way, the cake eater was told he could have as much cake as he wanted and he could even help make it. He called me (with mom's help at 5:30 one Thursday evening to let me know. I drove right over and the celebration began. He maybe ate the equivalent of a piece of cake. We dedicded our next reward would be another cake full of candies. Why I steered the fAnd they never asked for additional ocus toward brown things you might wonder...lol. As for the pony, it was $10 at Walmart. They never asked for additional rewards for going. It is important that they are part of if not the one who comes up with the reward. My grandson and I loved to cook together so I came up with the idea of making something. He loves sweets and chocolate so he came up with the cake!

Renee - posted on 04/21/2011

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Thanks, Debbie. We do a lot of praise and rewarding :) She's a good healthy eater so I like having an excuse to give her special treats! We don't punish or shame her for accidents. We do talk to her and try to ask her why she didn't go to her potty or tell us she had to go (that really gets us nowhere though! lol) and then just remind her that she needs to go to the potty. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to bother her to sit in it, never did with diapers either. So, I make her take off her own wet panties and put them in the sink on her own and then we rinse them out. Maybe I'm just in too big of a hurry, I'm just anxious to not have to put a diaper on her every time we walk out the door because it seems to set her back a little the more she wears them.

Debbie - posted on 04/21/2011

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wow sounds like she is doing really well. I wouldn't worry to much, my daughter is at the same stage, although we have been out alot lately and toilet training has been neglected. I think the best thing to do is praise her when she succeeds and opsy daisy when she has an accident, you could leave her in her wet pants for a short time so she can see how uncomfortable it is, otherwise leave them off. congratulations on how well you've done so far. :)

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