Tantrum throwing 15months too early?

Nicole - posted on 05/19/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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My precious 15 month old daughter Gracie has started throwing tantrums when she can't get her own way! She will lift her arms so I can't pick her up screaming etc... I am just wondering is it way too early for that sort of behaviour should I worry? and has anyone got any tips on how to handle this? :)

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Shannon - posted on 05/21/2010

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Mine started at 14 months. When she throws her fits I walk away, give it a few minutes then try to divert her attention, but I never pick her up until she has stopped the fit and calmed down. Sometimes she is real stubborn and it last 5-15 minutes, just keep an eye on her. If the fit is long I can set a cup down and she usually will stop to get a drink and that is the end of the fit. Again, I sit the cup down and walk away. She will eventually understand she gains nothing and the fit won't be worth the effort. This is my third child. It worked well with the other 2.

Jenny - posted on 05/24/2010

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Pay attention to WHY your daughter is having a tantrum. At this age they are becoming more independent but don't always have a way to express what they need or want. Using American Sign Language with our daughter from the time she was born has helped us GREATLY! When she starts to get into tantrum mode, I get down to her level and ask her to use her words -- mouth words or hand words -- so I can help. This usually does the trick. When she chooses to cry instead I set her down and sit a bit away. usually she will come to me and tell me what she wants.

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hehe. mine too. i'm desperately trying to get him to stop. it's so hard to not laugh cuz he makes SUCH a big deal. lol

i try to just ignore him and then he'll come over to me and hang on my leg and cry, but sometimes he gets it and will be nice to get my attention instead.

distraction works for me most of the time, but i don't know if that's what i should be doing. i feel like i should be teaching him something...but i'm not sure how.

Lisa - posted on 06/03/2010

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My son 16months throws trantums all the time and they can be bad. I dont ignore him but I dont encourage him. I let him have his trantrum and then i offer my help, if he doesnt want it then I let him keep going and then offer my help again. I keep doing this until he calms. I dont think it right to get up him as he is just expressing emotion in his own way. I also believe they need to be able to sit with, deal with and except their emotion, so whilst they are having a tantrum or are upset, I let my son be upset and let him know I am there for him and that it is ok and natural to feel this way. I let him also experience the emotion so that he learns to deal with his emotions

Amy - posted on 06/03/2010

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It is not too early. My 15 month old son started throwing fits a few months ago. He will just throw himself down on the ground and scream. I don't pick him up and wait until he finishes. I feel that if I would pick him up that would just reinforce the behaviors which is definitely not the desired outcome!

Lisa - posted on 06/03/2010

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Apparently the Terrible 2's or whatever you call it actually begins a lot earlier...like 15 months for instance. For mine, it began when he turned 1 year old and could point and say the word "there". It was the day his dad and I became his personal cab! Otherwise, there'd be a 10-minute session beginning with the flailing of his head accompanied by major crying. At first we thought it was cute (yes, first-time parents we are) that he was so certain of what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go but after a week...being a stay-at-home-mum...I decided it was time to introduce Aidan to d-i-s-c-i-p-l-i-n-e. Yes, the walking away for a bit helps. But if your kid is too young and if he/she has a tendency to hurt himself/herself (e.g slamming head into wall), holding them but not saying anything till they settle down might be safer. Sometimes they want attention. If you're a stay-home mum, and he/she's your only child, this is totally expected behaviour. They just want you all the time because you're their access to everything. I started giving Aidan Time Out despite friends saying he might be too young to understand. He got it after a few sessions. Well, he knows it means he's done something wrong. It takes a while to sink in but it also doesn't mean that the negative behaviour won't return. They're definitely too young to remember concepts of right and wrong if they get it at all in the first place. They just know they've upset you but a week or two later, they will want their cab driver in full service again. So consistency does help if you repeat yourself enough times (though it can be tiring). All the best to you. :)

Mary - posted on 06/02/2010

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My lil one has been throwing bonafide temper tantrums since he was around 13 months old but my oldest didn't start until around 2 (probably because he was more immediately accommodated.) I think 15 months is totally normal and as far as dealing with it- I generally just place my boy in a quiet spot where he can scream it out for a few minutes and he usually calms himself down-it seems to be helping...for now...:P

Debbie - posted on 06/02/2010

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Nope, not too early at all!! My 15 month old (who is very placid by nature) has just started throwing fantastic wobblies!! He will squash his eyes together, push out tears, scream, put his head on the ground and give anyone in arms length a good punch. They are just testing us to see what they can get, what works, etc!

Leanne - posted on 06/02/2010

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It is not too early for tantrums! The doctor says it is their way of testing the boundaries. Our daughter has done it a few times when she can't have something or we take something dangerous to her away. She has even had her first time out. She sort of understood and knew she was in trouble, but it didn't last long. As long as you let them know that behaviour is unacceptable and not cater to them they should learn.

Karen - posted on 06/02/2010

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my son is 16 months and has been doing that since about 15 months. if i am at home I usually tell him no i am sorry you aren't getting your way mom said no, and walk away. when she throw a tantrum she is just looking for attention, by trying to pick her up, and stop her from yelling that is giving her negative attention. Once she has finished throwing her tantrum you can talk to her, she may seem young, but she understand perfectly what she is doing. Looking at my own son, I think how young he is but when people talk to him in that baby talk he walks all over them, becaues he thinks that they think he is still a baby and doesn't know anything and he takes advataged of that. hope that helps

Jodie - posted on 06/02/2010

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My daughter will be 16 months tomorrow and she's been throwing tantrums for months! She throws her head back, arches her back and screams like a banshee. I just put her down and walk away because, at this point, there's nothing I've found that works to make her stop. Last night she went on for 45 min! Apparently my sister did the same thing but she grew out of it by age 4. God help me if it takes that long!

Erika - posted on 06/02/2010

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My daughter is 15 months old and does the same thing if you tell her "No" or even look at her wrong. She will look at me and tell me "at" and then try to bite something and smack it. I just let her do it and don't give her any attention then she forgets and starts playing around again.

Cassandra - posted on 06/02/2010

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The terrible twos start WAY before two. My son started throwing fits around months. He will scream and scream and scream and throw himself on the floor. Sometimes we can ignore it and he'll stop after a while. Distraction works best for us, but not always.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/30/2010

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WOW! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm 17 tears old and my husband is 19. We have a 15 month old son named Lucas and he does this all the time. He bows his back and flops his arms to where he slides right out of you hands then he will run off and start stomping and screaming. He bites too he has 10 teeth and he is just mean. I try to sit him down and just let him cry it out but he makes himself sick by sticking his hand down his throat. I dont know what else to do geeze it is driving us crazy. The doctor says it's just a phase but its been going on for months now. We had him checked for autism bc he slams his head into the wall or his riding toys. They said he was just putting out. I dont know has anyone else figured out anything or have the same problem?

Suzi - posted on 05/30/2010

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My son started at 11 months I took a newspaper away from him and he threw himself on the floor and was pounding the floor with his fists. The pediatrician says to put them in time out or when they throw a fit just walk away and dont let them get a rise out of you. It has worked for us

Kelly - posted on 05/30/2010

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my 15 month old who is also called gracie lol is exactly the same she has been doin it for a couple of months now she will scream if she cant have what she wants and then go and hit something or raise her hand to hit people aspecially when she's tired i find the best way to handle my daughter is to just ignore her as long as she isnt hurting herself once she realises am not goin to give in she comes bck smiling and playing nice again :-)

Samantha - posted on 05/29/2010

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IDK if it is 2 early 4 this or not but I thought it was and yet i am going through the same thing w/ my 15 month old son. I hope it is not a preview of NE personality flaws that he will have as he gets older. I am really hoping that this is 1 of those things that he will grow out of and that it is just a phase.

Melissa - posted on 05/29/2010

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Daniel (2/12) does the same thing he flings himself back, and if you say something he doesn't like he slaps you.

Miranda - posted on 05/29/2010

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Mason is 15months and does this all the time. I tell him let me know when your done and walk away it last a couple of minutes but when he see's that it's not bothering me or he's not getting the attention he'll stop! But main thing is, is when your with family and he does it don't let them pick him up! We're having that problem now

Claire - posted on 05/29/2010

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my little man can be the same if he wants to get his point across,he can be playing with a toy,get it stuck and will throw a tantrum until he gets it back where he wants it again.
he will do this to if i take something off him he cant have!! its all good fun!! ;0p

Lisa - posted on 05/29/2010

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My som has started as well, He gets put in his room immedietly and stays there until he is finished. He usually throws himself on the floor and cries because something was taken from him, he wants to follow someone outside or downstairs, or he gets in trouble for getting into something he shouldnt.

Heather - posted on 05/28/2010

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my little girly has started that too. but as a parent believe in disciplining her, and she will either get left to pout for a few minutes, or will get a light tap on the bum. (diaper on of course, so im sure it doesnt hurt) she has learned that if mommy walks away, then she has about one more chance to be nice, or she will just have to cry it out. hope i helped. :)

Kelsie - posted on 05/28/2010

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My daughter started the day after she turned one! It was like something switched on and it hasn't stopped yet. This started during my second semester in Psychology just as we were learning about positive and negative reinforcement. Diaper changes are the worst, I don't say anything to her, I just go about my business and walk away when she's dressed. It worked for a while, but we live with my parents right now and they ignore all boundaries I have set. Coddle to her and awww her, and she gets kisses and hugs and whatever she wants. Anything I do is pointless now, but I still do what I can to show her it's not right and hopefully she will understand.

Stephanie - posted on 05/28/2010

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Nope not early... mine is throwing tantrums and he started shortly after turning 1........... Patience is key........... and firm controlled speech..........if you find yourself getting flustered or upset, take a moment t ocompose yourself then address your toddler.......... its just part of life!

Modupe Thomas - posted on 05/28/2010

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My started months back & the other day she had her tantrum, I told her off she ran straight to her bedroom & shut the door!! I couldn't help it but laugh but I did not let her see me laugh. I thought they slam doors when they are teenagers not 15month old.

Rebecca - posted on 05/28/2010

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Nah this is about the time they normally start having tantrums. In some cases it is best to ignore them and not to give in. Or you can just hug them until they stop. Yelling and any negative reaction towards that behavior can prolong it. Basically you will end up fighting with your child. It is a pain but in the long run will make a difference. Observing why they behave like that can also help you to try other ways of helping your child to express them self. Tantrums are there way of showing there emotions because they don't know how to yet. So it is up to us to help them to have control over them as they grow up so they are not emotionally unstable as adults.

Brenda - posted on 05/27/2010

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what gets me is watching her progress through the tantrum I can see where she forgets what she was mad about and then is kind of scared of her own tantrum, then gets mad because I'm not fixing it, etc.. I just try to be soothing and calm, but not feeding into the attention getting. I tell her it's OK to get mad but tantrums won't get her anywhere, etc, even though I know she is too young to really understand this. I have heard a spray bottle works but I just can't quite make myself do this, although it's tempting.

Jessica - posted on 05/27/2010

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My daughter is doin the samething!! She is 15 months. I just ignore it and she will stop walk to me and hug me=)

Nicole - posted on 05/27/2010

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My daughter started this same behavior last weekend and she's 15 months. It's frustrating and funny at the same time! I have to laugh about it or I might go crazy! :) She puts her little hands into fists and runs around screaming and if I pick her up, she lifts her arms too. I usually try to figure out what the fit is about first and then I try to distract her with a favorite toy. Sometimes that works. If not, I walk away or if I can't leave her, I ignore the behavior. I know she will get over it soon enough. Now I just need to get my husband to help out with this! I'm at home all day with my daughter and need a break from the tantrums but those breaks just don't come often enough! Sigh...

Alisha - posted on 05/27/2010

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i agree, let her have her tantrum and just walk away, thats showing her that tantrums are not the way to get attention and to get her way. its definately a phase and a sign that shes becoming independent. my 15 month old son throws himself on the floor and cries dramatically...its kind of funny:) but he eventually gets over it..and sometime a sippy helps divert their attention and they forget why they were even upset. good luck!

Karen - posted on 05/26/2010

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Yes, worry now...not later. My son did that and it worked for him until one day I just left him laying there and walked away. I peeked at him from around the corner, and he was fine. Two seconds later he came running after me. He is now 19 and in college.

Danni - posted on 05/26/2010

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huh! i wish! mine started at 12mths and hasn't looked back! unfortunately i haven't found wat works best for me yet. accept stand your ground now! use the word stop (its an instruction) instead dont do .... or no dont touch as they only hear the last word you say. depends on circumstances too. basically its ask once tell once consequence. ignore it as bad attention can just attention or distract them with an activity or other object. hope this helps

Heather - posted on 05/25/2010

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My son will throw tantrums when I take him away from a toy when we have to leave. He arches his back and doesn't let you pick him up. He is usually getting close to needing nap when he does this.

[deleted account]

My daughter throws tantrums already as well, I usually just let her have it, they never last long and then we are good to go and she has usually forgotten what she was wanting in the first place.

Kaitlan - posted on 05/25/2010

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My son does the same, even the headbutting! I just leave him cry it out alone then just say to him its ok, your ok, give him hug and thats the end of it. They cant explain what they are feeling at this age so they are only doing what is natural to them.

Harvey actually had a tantrum in the doctors yesterday and he was screaming and laying on the floor, i done what i would have done at home and left him there. This old man then turned around and give me the most disgusting look ever! I am only teaching my child what is right and i will not pander to him because of what others think. I am going to continue this routine no matter where i am or who is around. Just dont feel embarrased by your daughter its natural. Gosh if you wanted something really bad or really annoyed you would voice your opinions or have moan. This is only what a child is doing just more of a performance. Hope this helps.

Casey - posted on 05/24/2010

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i know why she is throwing her fits. because when she is at her dads she gets what she wants but when she is with me i dont spoil her. she has everything she needs. and has choices like milk or water or juice but not too many choices. she wants my un divided attention...but dinner wont make itself

Bethany - posted on 05/24/2010

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The last few months Charlotte has been reacting to not getting her way by banging her head on whatever is around, including the ground if nothing else. Then she crys because she hurt herself. She will also open her mouth and look for something to press her teeth on, even if it's her own arm, not really bite, just presses her teeth on it.

I stay calm and even-toned, and say "you have your cry and then you're still not going to stand up in your pram/stay outside/etc. And then I wait (and don't worry about anyone else, this is between her and me) until she stops crying and then it's, "right, you finished? Now we are going inside/now you can sit in your pram or hold my hand" Off we go." and sometimes this might be repeated, but she's learning.

I also make sure she eats regularly, mostly low GI stuff, and watch out for if she needs a nap. Those two things really make a big difference to her temperament when we're out, lots of little low GI snacks and opportunity for down time, and if it all doesn't get done, that's ok, she won't be a baby forever.

Tori - posted on 05/24/2010

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My Elijah started early too. When I would tell him that he couldn't do something, he would throw himself down on the floor and scream. It was so pathetic it was almost funny. He did this for almost two months before he figured out that it wasn't getting him anywhere, I just ignored the tantrum. He still does it occasionally when he is tired, and he still cries if I take something away from him, but he has learned that banging his head on the floor as he flops down hurts him more than me.

Casey - posted on 05/23/2010

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ugh kenzie is the same way. if i am holding her she will fling herself back so i lay her on the ground tell her when she is done we will talk and walk away. she lays ther and screams and kicks for a minute, i walk back say are you done? and if she is i pick her up and give her her milk and we sit on the couch. if not i walk away. she does it in the store sometimes too and i set her in the basket and ignore her.

Dawn - posted on 05/21/2010

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It's not too early, my son has been doing this for months now. They are getting more independent :( I do the same as Shannon and let him have his fit with out an audience, but I also give him a stern reprimand about his behavior... "We don't throw tantrums to get our way"; etc..... You can try timeout but I find and have read that it doesn't work at this age as they can't reason their behavior. Just try to be patient, they will grow out of this at some point!!!

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