how do you teach your toddler not to do something?

Autumn - posted on 12/30/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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How do you discipline a 2 year old? My daughter will hit me or pull my hair and think that its a game. Or that it is funny so I will slap her hand and say no no. But she laughs still. How do you teach them not to do something when they think that its just playing around?

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Ellyn - posted on 12/30/2011

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Don't expect an elimination of this overnight. From here on out you can only pray your child listens to you. My daughter occasionally does the same. She used to do it a lot more with our dogs and cats too. We started with the phrase "be nice," trying to avoid the words no and do not, and corrected her behavior to what she should be doing - in the case of our pets she had to pet them nicely rather than pull their tail or ears. Now when she hears "be nice" she usually calms her motions down a bit. However, you have to understand that with her new found independence it may be hit or miss as to whether she actually listens or not, no pun intended.



I know my big issue with my daughter right now is her safety. She constantly climbs on things, especially chairs, and doesn't always listen when we tell her to sit down and throws a short temper tantrum when we make her. Although I've been told she should understand the concept of a time out right now,so far this has done nothing to correct her behavior.



So I guess my overall suggestion to you is to stay consistent and to try to redirect the negative to positive. Maybe when she pulls your hair show her how to brush it instead. I'm not sure how to redirect hitting. Maybe tell her that it hurts and have her give you hugs and kisses instead. Maybe you'll be able to start a new hugs and kisses game from it instead of the hair pulling and hitting game :)

Elizabeth - posted on 01/04/2012

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Striking a child or yelling at a child teaches her that striking and yelling are actually ok. They cannot yet make the association that a physical action done to them causes the same pain response in someone else. I firmly say, "Ouch! We don't hit. Show me gentle touching." If the behavior continues (and she's two, so it is often very funny to her) I sit her in a chair and put myself on the floor in front of her quietly, waiting for her to calm herself and demonstrate gentle touching on her own body and then mine. We then go right into an activity together. It's been working like a charm!

Laura - posted on 01/03/2012

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In our house we firmly say "do not hit/bite/throw" and if she does it again we tell her she needs to hug us and say she's sorry. Usually she will, but if she doesn't we sit her down on her bottom against the wall and have her sit there for a minute to think about what she's done...sort of a mini time out. We used to do time outs for her and they worked for a period, but now they don't as well. The main thing is that you need to CONSISTENTLY correct her. I find that if I am busy and get a little lazy in my discipline, she does it more often.

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Allison - posted on 02/02/2012

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I have come to realize that a lot of the hitting, biting and kicking is learned behaviors from the daycare. I have seen it with my own eyes so I do not take it personal, but I do not condone it. I too let the toddler know that hitting, kicking , biting and all those things hurt Mom, just as it hurts him and I do give a little slap on the hand also. It my not be the best thing to do but I do talk to him a lot and sometimes I pretend to bawl and scream so that he can get the point that hitting and those types of things hurt. He apologies and sometimes hugs me but as soon as he apologies he does it again....It will take time and everyone has their own way of dealing with it because it can be very embarrassing in public but the most important thing is to remember that it is an infant and he/she may not fully understand just yet.

Nicki - posted on 01/09/2012

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I have the same issue with my daughter who will be 2 February 5 th. She bites and pulls hair. Usually I tell her firmly no that hurts. Then I make her give hugs and kisses to use loving hands. So she associates using her hands ie for the hitting and hair pulling in a positive way. As for biting we give kisses. If she continues to do it she gets a time out.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/07/2012

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I'm having the same issue with my little girl too Autumn! And just out of curiosity, when your daughter's B-Day? My little girl turns 2 Feb 26!

Amy - posted on 01/03/2012

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There are a lot of new age mothers and parents here but I spank my children and that's why I have the best behaved children I know, and I rare HAVE to spank because they know I mean business, and when your 22 month old cleans up after themselves and sleeps in a toddler bed and doesn't throw fits then you can tell me my way is wrong

Autumn - posted on 12/30/2011

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I've tried talking to her and time out and I just don't know where to go from here. She doesnt do it all the time or to other people. But I just want her to know that it's not nice. She will be 2 years old in 2 months.

Michelle - posted on 12/30/2011

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When my daughter does something like that I usually make a big deal about how it hurts and tell her that it wasn't nice slapping her hand just tells her that it is ok to hit you can 't correct hitting with hitting. I just remind my daughter that she wouldn't like it if I pulled her hair because it would hurt and that mommy isn't going to play if she is going to be mean. My daughter is also 2

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