Karen - posted on 04/14/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )
How many of you are still using one? If you do, do you do things like take it away in public places? Or do you tell people "We only let him/her have it at night"?
I can help!
First, I will start off by saying that we are binky people. I swear by the use of a pacifier, and I absolutely would use one for my next child. Especially now that I know how easy it can be to stop it.
I was an excuse maker. I went to great lengths to hide the binky, the closer my daughter got to her second birthday. Sometimes though, I would forget about it in haste, and wouldn't you know, that one time I forgot, someone would say something about it. I hid it because of opinions, but I think the worst pressure to quit it came from Grandma. She started hounding me about it when my daughter was still toothless.
One month before my daughters second birthday, I was having a chat with a close friend of mine who also had a binky loving child. I was telling her how difficult I thought it would be to just take it away. I asked for her advice, because I knew she had been there.
She looked at me and said "Just take it away. It's that simple. Don't wean, don't lie, just take it away. The first few days will be the hardest, but then she will forget about it."
I had my doubts on it really being that simple. The more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. Why was I over thinking it? It's just an object. At this age, children still have the ability to forget things and that can be used to your advantage. Even still, I was sure there would be a problem when it came to bedtime.
That night I let my daughter have her beloved binky for the last time, and on January 2nd, one month before her second birthday, I collected every single one and threw them out, discreetly.
Day 1, she walked around like a lost puppy. I had a few urges to go trash digging because her little voice was so pitiful when she asked me "binky?". I stayed strong, telling myself it would pass. I changed the subject as quickly as she brought it up. I kept her busy too. Night time came, and though she fell asleep slightly later than usual, she still fell asleep without it, and that is what I needed to see. I knew I had this in the bag.
Day 2, she still asked for it, but not nearly as many times as she did on day 1. I continued to change the subject as soon as it was mentioned. Bedtime, once again, happened slightly later than usual, by about 30 minutes.
Day 3, she asked for it twice. I could tell by this time that we were pretty much in the clear. I found a stash of binkys in the closet, which were there because they were little ones she grew too big for. I had to sneak them into the trash without being seen. I could not risk a setback like that. We had come too far.
Day 4, I thought I heard her mumble the word binky once, but it was just a passing thought. She said it while playing, but did not seem to be asking any questions. Her mumbling the word actually reminded me that we were still in the process, because by day 4, I had even forgotten the thing myself.
Day 5, We were officially done. She did not mention it even once!
By the time we hit day 7, I was ready to tell the world it was official.
I think my kid would still be walking around with it right now if I hadn't gotten that boost in confidence from my friend. It's not in my nature to want to cause anyone any sort of pain or discomfort, so I had to hear from an experienced person that this can be simple, painless and over in a flash.
It was a bittersweet feeling. The binky was her special comfort thing. I think part of the reason I found it so hard to just take, was that it meant so much to her, or at least I thought it did. Taking it away meant she was no longer a baby, which was my own personal reason for putting it off for so long.
I will not go as far as to say I wish we had done it sooner because I don't. It made her so happy when she had it. I think we did it at the right time. Sometimes you just know...
My advice to anyone who is still in this boat, set a date that you plan to take it, and just go for it, then don't look back! When you think you might cave in, tell yourself that it will pass. I promise you that it will, and quick.