Grief?

Ashley - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I was pretty lucky in that my family and friends didn't make me feel bad for going to formula. Believe it or not, my son weaned himself at seven and a half months, wouldn't even accept pumped breastmilk.

Just curious if anyone has had personal experiences with people not being "ok" with formula feeding? I have only experienced rude people on CoM, but that doesn't get to me like a friend or family member would.

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Sarah - posted on 02/03/2010

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I had the same issue with my son. He had jaundice in the hospital right after he was born, but not enough to put him under the lights. When he was only 5 days old, I could just tell his jaundice was worse. He was not breastfeeding well & he wasn't getting enough fluids to get rid of the jaundice. He was lethargic & it was hard to wake him up to feed him & it scared me. I took him to the ER where they told us he had low blood sugar & that his bilirubin numbers were up. They admitted us to the hospital & put him under the light therapy. We were discharged only after one night in the hospital. I STILL tried my hardest to breastfeed & it still wasn't going well.

At his 2 week checkup, my son was still not back up to his birth weight & the doctor was concerned. She said I had to supplement. I started supplementing a lot more & in only 6 days, my son gained 9oz!

I gave up breastfeeding totally when he was about 2 months old. It was stressfulf & frustrating. My family has been very supportive of my choice to go to formula, which I'm grateful about. At first I felt VERY guilty because I didn't breastfeed anymore. Some people try to make mom's feel like HORRIBLE mothers because they can't or choose not to breastfeed. It gets on my nerves.

I never hear of formula feeding moms criticizing breastfeeding moms, but some breastfeeding moms or others are soooo quick to criticize us formula moms. It hurts sometimes. But, now my son is a happy, healthy, and growing 4 month old & I try not to let others opinions bother me so much.

Kathy - posted on 01/22/2010

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Ashley, similar happened to me with my daughter, she was jaundice bad and had the photo therapy and giving formula after breast feeding to keep more liquids and help get the billiribbon out faster. She was having latching issues so I was told if she wouldn't latch after 10 minutes give her formula, burp her, change her and get her back under the lights, when she wouldn't take me I pumped while her daddy fed her. It got the jaundice down and when we got home she eventually did latch but right from the beginning my milk was low and later I got an infection and milk went bad then bye bye. MOST of my friends and family have been really good aside from one friend that said "don't give up" even though my milk was bad figured I should keep giving it to her. Its strangers, people in the mall stopping me and saying how beautiful she is then saying "Your breastfeeding right?" or seeing the bottle and coming up to me asking why I'm not breastfeeding. I just look at them and then turn away but I wanna say its none of your f****** business!!

Pj - posted on 01/17/2010

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I havent had any grief with friends or family they where really supportive :) I did get grief at the hospital after i had my daughter and also when we took her to emergency a couple months ago the nurse was rude to me but i usually just ignore them haha they always state how healthy and happy my daughter is so i dont see what the issue is :) All my friends where i live had babies last year as well and they all breastfeed but non of them have every looked down on me and have been amazingly supportive!

Ashley - posted on 01/14/2010

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well heres a tad bit of my story.. my first baby was born nov 2007 i breast fed for a week .. but also had to formula feed right after i finished breast feeding because she was soo jaundice. my mother was the worse she said there should be no need for me to have to give her formula told me the dr was crazy .. they should just put her under the lights at the hospital to break down the jaundice instead .. everything.. so i tried to pump to get the lil extra and give it to my baby after pumpin did not work nothing came out but blood... yuck.. so i just said you know what the baby does fine with formula shes accepting it fine and she had the early breast milk stuff that is good for them in the first few days .. and said its not worth the stress i choose to breast feed,,, so thats all said and done ... 18 months later i have another baby .. even more jaundice actauly had to do the light theopy but the dr again got the baby to top up with formula after done breast feeding so she had lots of liquid.. after two feeding my 3 day old would not latch back on nurses tried to get her to and everything but she wouldnt she went right for the bottle .. so we tried over and over.. my mother yet again said she couldnt believe what the dr's did they messed up the baby ... blahblah blah said breast feeding is better and i should be doin it .. baby came home still wouldnt breast feed i pumped lil bits came out from only one breast so again i said its no worth the stress and bottle fed .. my girls are now 26 months and 8 months and you couldnt tell them apart from breast fed babies my youngest is crawling .. trying to walk and shes even talking ... but yea my mom gave me a hard hard time

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