Children going home

Valerie - posted on 06/06/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have had many foster children come and go out of our house but today was the hardest day of our foster parenting. We were placed two beautiful girls last May. 6 and 2 yrs old.

And as all of you can imagine we feel in love with them both.

Their father worked very hard and guess what he was able to get the girls. We did the transition today. We packed up their things and moved them into their new home. Of course there were alot of tears. What's worse is we have our own childern and seeing my 17 yr old daughter take it so hard that they had to leave breaks my heart.



Why after so many kids and so many years doesn't it get any easier when they go home?

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Valerie - posted on 07/10/2009

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Got a call today and the girl's stepmom asked if the girls could call tomorrow because they miss us. I can't wait for the phone call. Wish I could of talked to them today but the older one was in summer school and our schedules didn't work out right.

Tracie - posted on 07/06/2009

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We have fostered for 7 years now and I don't think that this gets any easier. I cry harder every time. I tell people that it is the hardest and most rewarding job I have ever had. I feel if we don't attach and love them to the point of tears when they leave then I have not done my job as a mom. We live in a small town and we get to see some of our past children frequently. It is great to see them all do so well and they all still call us 'papa Kevina and momma T'. All of the parents have been supportive of this also. It truly warms my hear to know how much we touched the lives of the child's entire family.

Karen - posted on 06/23/2009

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Thats so sweet, than kyou for sharing about the visit. It shows you ave given them sometihng they very much needed, love. You have made an impact in their lives that will forever be with them.

Valerie - posted on 06/21/2009

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I would like to thank all of you for listening, responding and caring. It has helped me out greatly. Just to give an update. We seen the girls on the 15th we went to the older ones soccer game. I am so glad the dad kept her in soccer. Her and her sister were so excited to see us it was great. When I was talking to the dad and girlfriend they said the older girl was all worried if we were going to make it to the game. Of course because of my work schedule I had to be there alittle later than the rest of my family but when she seen me show up at the soccer field she ran off the field and gave me a big hug. Her coach seen what was going on and stopped the game for a few seconds so she could say hi to me. The little one squealed and just about knocked me over when she jumped up in my arms.

We talked to the dad and girlfriend they said anytime they said that it was time to go somewhere they would ask if they were going to mama val's and daddy sam's that made my heart jump. Just knowing that they want to see us and still love us makes me happy.

The older one and I talked about her first day of summer school she said it didn't go to good and said she wanted to tell me about it right away because I would be able to make her feel better.

When it was time for all of us to leave the little on said ok daddy I go home with mama val now. That gave me a good laugh.

Their parents and us have made promises to get together over the summer and they have asked if we would be there when needed even if for only a few hours to babysit if they need a break. We said you bet. I would rather be there as support then to hear that anything ever happens to these two beauties.

Cheryl - posted on 06/20/2009

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It will never get easier, but the pain will lesson. I pray for my babies all the time. Just fill your heart with your children as well as the new angels that will come into your life.The girls will keep the love and lessons they got from your family forever. I didn't start fostering till my babies were in their 30's but I know your children feel the lose deeply. Is there a Foster Parent support group in your area? Maybe get something started for the bio children where they can talk and sort through feelings, etc.of having these additional children in and out of their homes. Mema

April - posted on 06/19/2009

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I absolutely agree with Laura, it is so heartbreaking to think that you are sending them back into a bad situation. I think that it will tear my heart out if he goes back because his mom is still the same. Nonetheless, it is a hard road to trek but hopefully you touch some loves, light them up with love, and give them a touch of normalcy when they never had it!

Laura - posted on 06/19/2009

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Because you are good foster parents it really doesn't. You give to the children in your home what they need. A true loveing enviroment. Unfortunatly that means a lot of broken hearts for you. At least you can feel good in this case that they are going to a good place. When it is really hard is when you know in your heart that the parents haven't really changed and you are jus sending the kids right back in to a bad situation.

Christine - posted on 06/10/2009

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i had one little boy for 4 year ansd another for 2 years out of all the 22 i fostered these were thehardest to go one was told on the friday that he was going home on the sunme a long time to carm him down i am now back i contact with him here on facebook and his baby brother that we had bt the other little boy was adoptd and i miss him so muc i stop forstering 10 years ago when my marrage broke up but i would have loved to have carried on, my son who was in his teens found it very hard and my ex did as well and we would all have tears, some only go home and end back up in care and that does hurt as they dont always come back to you, i have photos of them and the ones that were with us a long time all had books of they time with us and any trips that we did,

you all ways wonder how a child is getting and in time you hope that they will get back to so you can see how they are, that is the thing that keeps me going that oneday i will see them again, butthan you both have tears as i did when one boy i had not seen for 10years and we met up again

so have you cry and you will soon have another one to look after, but just thinkof the good you have one with every child that has come into your home

April - posted on 06/08/2009

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I am so sorry! I can't imagine how you feel! The truth is, that it doesn't get easier because how can you help but love a child? I am sorry for your pain but it is good that there are ppl like you who care enough for the children to not harden their hearts to the pain of lost kids! I pray for your comfort and your daughters! If you need anything feel free to talk to me anytime!

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