Communities

Foster and Adoptive moms

All Communities > Foster and Adoptive moms > Help with 10 year old girl's attitude.

Help with 10 year old girl's attitude.

Tera - posted on 11/29/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

22

62

I have my niece who is almost 11 years old. She helps out a lot with chores and seems to resent it. She does laundry, puts away clean dishes, and takes out the trash. She is also supposed to keep her things cleaned up. I don't think that's too much for a 10 year old. She is always in a bad mood. It seems like she hates the world. Her attitude towards me is awful. She gives dirty looks, rolls her eyes, stomps out of the room, etc. I've tried grounding her and taking things away from her but it doesn't seem to help. I don't think that spanking kids is right, and I need some help and suggestions.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

2 Comments

View replies by

Colette - posted on 01/28/2010

11

8

Groundings for giving attitude ?!?! Giving attitude is part of being an adolecent girl !! Ignore the attitude she gives you and continue to speak to her as if she wasn't giving you any, she is probubly looking for a reaction out of you and she's getting it !! The more you give a young adolecent to fight you on the more they will !! When sh is really being rude just tell her to go calm down in her room ... I don't like the way you are treating me and I'm not going to finish this conversation untill you can treat me with some respect ! This works really well when they are asking YOU for something and you won't disscuss it untill they can treat you in an appropriate manner !!

Valerie - posted on 12/26/2009

901

29

Work on acknowledging her for the good that you see in her...I see your (kindness, helpfulness, caring creativity...) when you....(tell her specifically how you see it) that is how you help these gifts of character to grow...she needs her self-esteem built up and this is the way to do it and build your relationship with her...ask her, "you seem angry, what's up?" and then just listen and let her empty her cup...let her go on and on and STAY QUIET..this is not a time to have a conversation but rather a time to truly listen to her...if she won't talk, let her know that you are here for her and care and then walk away...don't take her personally...get curious not furious is the name of the game...if she share, ask her "what would be helpful?" if she asks for something reasonable then figure out how to do it, if she says something unacceptable say, "I can't do that so what else would be helpful" meet all reasonable requests...thank her for her helpfulness in doing the chores...she is calling for love...you are right that spanking is wrong and will onl create more problems...

Want to find out the opinions of this community?

Add Poll