Is this a good or bad idea???

Kelly - posted on 02/29/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Me and my husband have a biological 3yr old son and were asked to adopt a 9 yr old boy whos mother and father will lose rights to him and his other siblings in about a month. His other siblings have all been adopted already and no one wants this boy because he's older and I believe has ADHD. Is this a good idea? We'd love to take him in, but unsure of how our 3yr old, Zachary, will adjust. Zach's a momma's boy all the way and of course isn't into sharing his toys or me. Any advice would be a great help, thank you.

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Mandee - posted on 07/22/2012




Just because your 3 year old would struggle to adjust isn't a reason to say no, in my opinion. Not wanting another child, etc. would be a viable reason.

What happens if you end up having another child unexpectedly? Zachary will have to adjust then right? Or what about when he is school aged, and has to adjust to sharing at school? Kids are resilient and learn fast. Zachary may "regress" in some areas as a result, but it is an attempt to get your attention. It would likely be the same if you had another child.

If you and your husband are open to it, I'd say start first by talking with your own son about possibly having a sibling and see. You might be surprised, or frequent talking about it might warm him up to the idea.

Catalina - posted on 05/17/2012




I would do it. If you would love to, as you said, your son is young and you would be helping this boy out hugely!
Will you be able to love them equally, treat him well, and have as much unconditional love you do for him as you do for your bio son? If all three answers yes I would do it! :-)

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