Karen - posted on 02/27/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )
Here are our options: SW can start new case plan for reunification as per circuit judges ruling or permanent foster care, which has been presented to bio mom and shes in agreement with.
PFC: Permanent Foster Care
Where the state holds legal guardianship over the children giving us rights to sign for medical, school, recreation, drivers license, marriage, college,and military. Its a court order that will take the court to reverse if just cause is found. The kids will continue to receive everything a foster child is entitled to according to state laws until the reach the age of 18 or 21 if they are active in education or there are special circumstances requiring longer term past 18. We will need to be supervised by DSS SW and CW through our treatment foster agency. visitations are to be once a month in a therapeutic setting, the bio mom and all 3 kids will have pre-visitation preparation by a therapist, the visitation will be supervised by a therapist, and there will be post-visitation processing of how the visit went.
We can ask that the bio mom and her predator boyfriend be evaluated as a stipulation of this agreement, I doubt the boyfriend will be allowed to come anyway but the bio mom will have a therapeutic plan to follow and the therapist has a right to make choices about whether shes doing what she needs to do in order to continue or even begin visits, and will evaluate the kids to see if they will be able to handle visits.
Our lawyer said that usually the bio parents get frustrated with the limitations and the things required of them that they usually not do whats needed to maintain visits.
ADOPTION IS NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION IN THE FUTURE. Just depends on how visits go, and if bio mom continues to do whats needed for contact. Its possible she may allow it if kids let her know they want it and shes reassured she will not be cut out of their lives.
SW said possible might be able to change kids names without adoption based on bio dads threats of kidnapping in court and aggressive illegal behaviors in past, but our lawyer said highly unlikely.
So as it stands right now, we have to let SW know we agree to PFC (other option of reunification out of question for us), then she has to get it approved by higher up, and draw up goal plan and agreement papers and get courts to sign off on them, before its on place. Bio mom already agreed to it with her lawyer encouraging her to do so.
its going to be hard to continue on with CW telling us how to raise kids she sees for 15 min a month, that we live with and know the best.
Please pray for us as this is very difficult, not the best option but the best offered to us and kids, and that when we tell the kids we have the right words to say to them that they are reassured that they will be staying with us and belong here.
P.S. Va has no laws about open adoption, so there is no way to adopt them with open relationship with bio mom.